Note:
Please regard this as a an exercise in style. Just as Walt Disney drew nudes for recreation, I'm trying to write show-don't-tell where it does not apply. Please don't argue about the usefulness of show-don't-tell, I'm aware that not all novels must be written in the style of Chuck Palahniuk.
I'm also aware that show-don't-tell isn't a law. Not even Chuck Palahniuk always heeds his own advice:
"I know this because Tyler knows this." ~ from the second page of Fight Club.
* * *
Question:
In a famous blog post Chuck Palahniuk advises against the use of "thought-verbs" (such as thinks, knows, and understands). He recommends to "un-pack" the thought or knowledge into the sensory detail that will make the reader think or know what the character thinks or knows.
His recommendation is difficult enough when your characters know things that happen outside of them, e.g. Palahniuks example of the boy knowing that the girl is interested in him from her behavior: all the writer has to do instead of stating that the boy knows is describe the girl's behavior, and the reader will come to the same conclusion as the boy.
But what if you are not writing about thoughts about outside things ("he thought the bus would be late"), but things that go on inside a person such as dreams or the perception of bodily functions.
Let's look at an example. This is the story I want to tell (for the purpose of this exercise; I'm not really writing a novel about chocolate craving):
"It is late, the shops are closed, and I am overwhelmed by a strong craving for chocolate. I try to suppress it, but I can't sleep, so I get up out of bed and walk across town to the gas station to buy chocolate."
Or another example:
"John really loved to escape into his thoughts. Most afternoons he just lay on his bed doing nothing and imagining rich worlds and what he would do in them."
How do you show the craving for chocolate when you write from a first person perspective, without using any words that refer to the craving? How do you show that someone loves to think (instead of doing other things), without refering to those thoughts?
Please regard this as a an exercise in style. Just as Walt Disney drew nudes for recreation, I'm trying to write show-don't-tell where it does not apply. Please don't argue about the usefulness of show-don't-tell, I'm aware that not all novels must be written in the style of Chuck Palahniuk.
I'm also aware that show-don't-tell isn't a law. Not even Chuck Palahniuk always heeds his own advice:
"I know this because Tyler knows this." ~ from the second page of Fight Club.
* * *
Question:
In a famous blog post Chuck Palahniuk advises against the use of "thought-verbs" (such as thinks, knows, and understands). He recommends to "un-pack" the thought or knowledge into the sensory detail that will make the reader think or know what the character thinks or knows.
His recommendation is difficult enough when your characters know things that happen outside of them, e.g. Palahniuks example of the boy knowing that the girl is interested in him from her behavior: all the writer has to do instead of stating that the boy knows is describe the girl's behavior, and the reader will come to the same conclusion as the boy.
But what if you are not writing about thoughts about outside things ("he thought the bus would be late"), but things that go on inside a person such as dreams or the perception of bodily functions.
Let's look at an example. This is the story I want to tell (for the purpose of this exercise; I'm not really writing a novel about chocolate craving):
"It is late, the shops are closed, and I am overwhelmed by a strong craving for chocolate. I try to suppress it, but I can't sleep, so I get up out of bed and walk across town to the gas station to buy chocolate."
Or another example:
"John really loved to escape into his thoughts. Most afternoons he just lay on his bed doing nothing and imagining rich worlds and what he would do in them."
How do you show the craving for chocolate when you write from a first person perspective, without using any words that refer to the craving? How do you show that someone loves to think (instead of doing other things), without refering to those thoughts?
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Now you're explaining to folk trying to explain it to you.
