Worst Holiday Song Ever

cornflake

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A themed spin-off from the worst song ever thread!

What's the worst song of the season?

Ok, this will obviously be a short thread, as I'll go ahead and say:

Christmas Shoes.

She doesn't need shoes, you little moron, and it's only making me ponder what a little moron you are that this is how you're spending your time.

I mean obviously, thread is done, but if people want to mention stuff like that donkey song, or anything involving Adam Sandler, or whatever, go nuts!
 

Brightdreamer

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Christmas Shoes.

Yep, that's about all there is to say. (Now, for a song that rips your spleen out and throws it to the dogs, country stations sometimes blindside you with Toby Keith's Santa, I'm Right Here. No sappy ending in that one.)

I also get mighty sick of Grown-Up Christmas List, Thistlehair the Christmas Bear, I Believe There Are Angels Among Us, Christmastime is Here (or whatever they call that coma-inducing tune that sounds like a reject from a third-rate Vegas lounge), Happy Christmas/And So This Is Christmas (don't know the real name, too lazy to look), Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (funny when you hear it the first time at 5), There's Something Stuck Up In The Chimney (it being sung by a kid really creeps me out), and anything by Josh Groban (the man is a vocal Thomas Kinkaid painting.) Oh, and that Peanuts piano tune that goes nowhere - but I'm one of those heathens who doesn't like that special.

And the Adam Sandler song should be taken out and shot. Not funny. Never was. Never will be.

There are also specific versions of holiday songs that will make you hate Xmas, especially if you work retail and are stuck hearing them over and over and over again.
 

Kevin Nelson

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I nominate Bill Anderson's "Po' Folks Christmas." The song actually has a good idea behind it, but the execution is...lacking. A sample of the lyrics:

We wadn't nuthin' but po' folks
Po' folks livin' way out in the country we never heard the jingle bells
Ho ho ho we was po po po'
 

cmhbob

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Between Dec 16 and Dec 21, I have three death anniversaries, including my mom and her sister, 14 years apart. Yeah, some Christmas music is hard to hear, especially Christmas Shoes. Christmas in Heaven too. heard that for the first time this year.
 

RedRajah

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"Baby, It's Cold Outside" Creepy McCreeperson roofie-ing drinks...
 

BenPanced

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Oh, and that Peanuts piano tune that goes nowhere - but I'm one of those heathens who doesn't like that special.
Technically, while it was used in A Charlie Brown Christmas, the first animated special based on the comic strip, it's really not a Christmas song. Its title is Lucy & Linus Theme.

I'd never heard it until this year, but I nominate Mom & Daddy, Please Don't Steal For Us This Christmas.

And you can't forget Wham's Last Christmas. No matter how hard you try.
 

cornflake

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Yep, that's about all there is to say. (Now, for a song that rips your spleen out and throws it to the dogs, country stations sometimes blindside you with Toby Keith's Santa, I'm Right Here. No sappy ending in that one.)

I also get mighty sick of Grown-Up Christmas List, Thistlehair the Christmas Bear, I Believe There Are Angels Among Us, Christmastime is Here (or whatever they call that coma-inducing tune that sounds like a reject from a third-rate Vegas lounge), Happy Christmas/And So This Is Christmas (don't know the real name, too lazy to look), Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (funny when you hear it the first time at 5), There's Something Stuck Up In The Chimney (it being sung by a kid really creeps me out), and anything by Josh Groban (the man is a vocal Thomas Kinkaid painting.) Oh, and that Peanuts piano tune that goes nowhere - but I'm one of those heathens who doesn't like that special.

And the Adam Sandler song should be taken out and shot. Not funny. Never was. Never will be.

There are also specific versions of holiday songs that will make you hate Xmas, especially if you work retail and are stuck hearing them over and over and over again.

Best description of Josh Groban ever.

I have never heard of any of these (save Grandma), and I'm fascinated. Are they country songs? They sound gloriously awful! To youtube! :ROFL:

I nominate Bill Anderson's "Po' Folks Christmas." The song actually has a good idea behind it, but the execution is...lacking. A sample of the lyrics:

We wadn't nuthin' but po' folks
Po' folks livin' way out in the country we never heard the jingle bells
Ho ho ho we was po po po'

More fantasmical things that I've not encountered! Who knew this treasure trove of suck was out there?!

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" Creepy McCreeperson roofie-ing drinks...

Heh - I actually like this song, in the original, and it's so much a thing of its time. Then I heard the remake, with Michael Buble and someone and couldn't believe they redid it, same lyrics. It's hilarious and wrong and yet, it just is what it is and I dunno, I'm very torn, heh.

Technically, while it was used in A Charlie Brown Christmas, the first animated special based on the comic strip, it's really not a Christmas song. Its title is Lucy & Linus Theme.

I'd never heard it until this year, but I nominate Mom & Daddy, Please Don't Steal For Us This Christmas.

And you can't forget Wham's Last Christmas. No matter how hard you try.

You people are amazing. Don't steal for us this Christmas? I....

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Unless you're mad at your mom. Then it's a fun song to teach your kids. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzV9DIL_vrM

My grandmother loved that song. :)
 

Marlys

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"Santa Baby." The song might work if sung tearfully, by someone obviously starving to death and fantasizing about riches. Sadly, I've never heard it that way. I can about stand the Eartha Kitt version (because, well, she's Eartha Kitt), but most of the other versions grate my heinie.
 

Robert Dawson

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The Cat Carol.

Slapdash writing, enough cheap sentiment to give a Kewpie doll diabetes, draggy tune. And I really really resent being made to cry by bad writing.

("The Sweater" is actually good. Hard to believe they are related.)
 

M.S. Wiggins

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That wanting of a Hippopotamus for Christmas.