Perhaps if I give you the first few pages (about 900 words) you can tell me what you think. I go to Central Park almost every afternoon. The idea for this story came to me while I walked home. The opening scene is real up to the introduction of the police. I wanted to convey as best I could what my minds eye saw as the main character. His strict observance of etiquette, his feelings about people and his reaction to the events all help me, and I hope the reader, build a picture of what kind of a man my MC is. His personality and reaction to events is a big part of my story. The last lines of this sample represent my hook.
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Chapter 1
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[FONT="]On the way home from his afternoon jog in Central Park, Joe stayed near the curb along 57th Street. He always walked to the right as a matter of courtesy, offering an exaggerated frown to those that ignored this unwritten rule of the city. He could not resist chuckling as he passed several tourists taking pictures of buildings that had no particular significance. Guessing they simply wanted to show friends back home what a big city looked like, he made an effort to not get between a photographer and his objective. He felt another frown spread across his face when a number of tourists blocked his way as they videoed the busy street.
Am I turning into a sour old man as I grow older?[/FONT]
[FONT="]The unexpected sound of multiple sirens made him involuntarily grit his teeth.
God damn, he thought,
these guys are all over the place. A few months after September 11, 2001, the NYPD established a rapid response team consisting of ten to fifteen patrol cars that raced around Manhattan testing their capacity to get where they were needed as fast as possible. Like most residents of the city, he had long since trained himself to identify the sound of multiple sirens and learned to live with the parade of cars and their flashing lights as just another minor annoyance. Unaccustomed to the unusual activity, many of the tourists stopped to stare, impeding Joe’s walk home. [/FONT]
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[/FONT][FONT="]The sounds of brakes screeching did startle him. Most of the time the cars whizzed by to their practice destination. He felt his nostrils twitch from the acrid smell of burnt rubber and turned to see what was going on. What he saw took him by surprise. Several police cars stopped, some having come to a halt after almost spinning out of control, making a mess of traffic. Within moments, heavily armed police officers jumped from their cars and formed a phalanx surrounding the area immediate around Joe. Most of the people stood in shocked silence, while a few of the more brazen attempted to push passed the police. Joe joined this small group, hoping to break through the line and continue home.[/FONT]
[FONT="]The police, clad in ominous looking bulletproof vests and helmets, stared menacingly at the pedestrians as if they were all criminals. The officers held fearsome sub-machine guns against their chests, triggering Joe’s fear that some kind of terrorist attack was imminent. Like mannequins in a store window, most of the crowd stood frozen in place, staring in horror. Joe overheard a few murmured speculations regarding the police activity. They were interrupted by a large black SUV that swerved between the police cars and came to a stop with its front wheels well onto the sidewalk. Two black suited men, Joe guessed represented some government agency, jumped out and walked straight to where he stood.[/FONT]
[FONT="]“Mister Rebman?” The first man said unceremoniously.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Joe looked from one to the other.
How the hell do these guys know who I am? And more important – what do they want with me? Not ready to identify himself, he returned the blank stares of the two agents. Clearly, they had his description. His lack of response did little to deter them. One of the men opened the rear door of the SUV and motioned for Joe to step forward. He could almost feel the stares of his fellow pedestrians, eager to get a glimpse of what was going on. Reluctantly, Joe walked over to the open door and peered inside.[/FONT]
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The dome light suddenly came on revealing a lone passenger on the back seat. Leaning further in, Joe saw a balding head, horned rimmed eyeglasses and a large unlit cigar. The overweight man leaned forward to meet Joe’s gaze. His smiling face looked up at Joe as if he expected to be recognized. Joe refused to allow his lips to form a smile as he returned the man’s stare. A moment later, Joe shook his head. He knew the face and, after a moment, connected it to a name and then to the person.[/FONT]
[FONT="]“Norman?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“Ah, you remember me,” Norman chuckled around his cigar.
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[FONT="]“What’s it been, about forty years? You haven’t changed much,” Joe responded, ignoring the circumstances of the meeting.[/FONT]
[FONT="]“Well, a few more pounds, and like you, a lot less hair. But yes, it’s been just about forty years. Why don’t you get in?”[/FONT]
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Joe stared back at Norman, not prepared to get into the car no matter what was going on. [/FONT]
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[/FONT][FONT="]“What’s this all about?” Joe demanded in a low voice, aware of several tourists moving closer.[/FONT]
[FONT="]“Well, we have a situation,” Norman began slowly. “Do you recognize the term ‘wild fire’?” He finished in a just audible whisper.[/FONT]
[FONT="]“You must remember I’m a Science Fiction buff. It’s a term used in an old Science Fiction movie to denote some kind of alien encounter. So yes, I know what it means, but you can’t be serious. What kind of game is this and what the hell does it have to do with me?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“Oh, it’s not a game, I’m very serious. We have ah … ah craft not from earth.”[/FONT]
[FONT="]Joe felt his jaw go slack.
A craft not from earth – ridiculous! “Even if it’s true, what could it possibly have to do with me?” Joe repeated.[/FONT]
It's the first thing I think of when that blank white screen is staring me down.
