Squik factor?

Was it the fact of the relationship your beta had trouble with, or the way it was written?

Under the described circumstances, it seems a logical way to manipulate a teenaged boy. But if it's written as romantic or titilating, it would probably cross a line for me.

Which is probably hard to answer, since I imagine from his perspective it is a meaningful romance.

So my useless answer is that it would depend on the execution.

Well, I'm not well-disposed to the woman in this situation. I don't "like" it, and yes, there's an "ick factor" there.

If you're trying to make this into a situation where she is a sympathetic character, then that would be too much for me.

However, it's clear to the reader that it's manipulation, and that it's one more thing the MC has to come to terms with, I think it makes sense.

sheadakota said:

Okay - so this is only one beta reader's opinion, ( But a good beta reader) But I thought I would fly it by you guys. This is a paranormal (supernatural?) thriller. One character has been kept a prisoner all his life. He has abilities that his captors use and barter his cooperation by threatening the life of his brother (who thinks he is dead).

Anyway- his handler is about ten years older than he is. She is the only one he has had contact with for the last 15 years (he has Stockholm syndrome) When he was sixteen she started to have sex with him as yet another way to manipulate him.
My beta didn't like this. Does it give you major ich factors? it is pretty important to the plot as he needs to chose between her and his brother later on.

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This probably won't help you much, but a talented writer can turn any squicky or even morally reprehensible situation into a compelling read. I can be disgusted with what the characters are doing (as I would be IRL in this situation), but if you write it well, I'm gonna read it. I mean, my toes have literally curled after reading Irvine Welsh's stuff, but I still bought his latest novel.

That said, I think you'll have to handle it in a way that makes it clear you're not condoning sex between a fifteen-year-old and a twenty-five-year-old.

I think the age factor can bother people no matter how well or inoffensively you write it.

I've got a story with a 17 year old and a 35 year old. It's set in 1912 so a normal relationship for the time and they have a strong friendship - some people are still bothered by it.

From what you've described, I think it will be fine. It may be a personal squick of hers. It wouldn't bother me, given the story.

Doesn't squick me too much. Reminds me of The World Is Not Enough a bit, although in that there's another reverse where it turns out the abductee is the one manipulating the kidnapper, rather than the standard Stockholm Syndrome trope.

That's realism. It's not only what would most likely happen, it would be exceedingly strange if it didn't.

I see no ick factor at all, except on the part of the woman, and it shows her character well, which is the whole point.

There is no better way to control someone of that age other than sex and "love". This is how it works. No one should blame him for a second. Under those circumstances, any fifteen year old would not only fall for it, but be immensely happy about it.

Her actions should come across as icky. His should not.

Would not bother me much (depends on how you handle it)

Execution is everything

sheadakota said:

Thanks James. That is exactly what I want to portray. This woman is entirely horrible. total sociopath who is in a position of power. I want the reader to be sympathetic to my MC. I want them to hate her. But I want them to believe that it is possible for him to chose her over his brother.

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My squik isn't squicking. Sounds like a fascinating story.

sheadakota said:

Thanks James. That is exactly what I want to portray. This woman is entirely horrible. total sociopath who is in a position of power. I want the reader to be sympathetic to my MC. I want them to hate her. But I want them to believe that it is possible for him to chose her over his brother.

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I'd say it's very possible for him to chose an actual person who's had intimate contact with him, and he has feelings for, over a theoretical brother that he hasn't seen or had contact with for over half his life. I'd find it harder to believe that at some point he hasn't considered the possibility that his brother is dead, and his captors are lying to him.

sheadakota said:

Part of his abilities is he is 'connected' to his brother (also his twin) telepathically. His brother considers his 'visits' dreams. But Kale can keep tabs on him and make sure Tanya is living up to her end of the bargain.

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Ah, 'verification', yes that would change things. No 'oh, he died years ago, you sucker!'

Shea,I think I've read a scene of this in SYW. It was good. I would ick if you wrote it like erotica but it was written as a thriller, very exciting.

Writers take on all sorts of controversial issues and we do it because people need to face their reality but can't. In fiction,they can deal with it.

When I was twelve or so, we went to visit some relatives for a few days. I was bored so I skimmed their bookshelves for something to read and settled on one that looked interesting and had a neat title: "Flowers in the Attic."

If there was ever a book that caught me by surprise with an "Ick," that was it. Halfway through the story I set down the book and mentally jumped around around going "ew, ew, ew, ew, eeewwwww" for a minute or two. Then I picked it back up and resumed reading.

If it's a good story and the "ick" is a necessary part of that story, readers will deal with it.

I think you have a topic that has significance in today's world where older women in positions of authority are being looked at by other women in authority for having sex with minor age teens. Women attorneys prosecuting teachers in front of women judges comes to mind.

Is there an ick factor. Sure. Should you shy away from it. Absolutely not! You have hit on a topic that whether intended or not is something that, especially if the book was done well, will draw considerable sales.

Each time period has certain topics that are at the leading edge of discussion and change in the culture. Effectively, male rape has not been discussed as even a possibility. While it is much less common that female rape it certainly occurs and most often with older women and younger boys. Even in situations where a group of young very sexually active women will make a toy of a pubescent boy (I ran into that working as a counselor many years ago - it really screwed the kid's head up). So by all means you have a significant issue with lots of ick factor that should work for your book as well as for where the culture is now.