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Confess your sins

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morngnstar

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I'm disappointed that only punctuation, tags and sentence structure are being discussed as sins. These are veneal sins at best. Graver sins would include info dumping, as-you-know-Bob dialogue, filtering, coincidences that help the protagonist, character violation and Mary Sue/Larry Stu MCs.

If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. Confess your grave sins. Note: unrepentant sins are allowed.
 

guttersquid

I agree with Roxxsmom.
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I confess I lose my enthusiasm to write when friends and family members show no interest in reading my stuff.

A typical scenario: A Christmas gathering. I greet Greg at the door.

How I wish the conversation would go:

Greg: "What you been up to?"
Me: "Just working on my story."
Greg: "Cool. What's it about?"

How the conversation actually goes:

Greg: "What you been up to?"
Me: "Just working on my story."
Greg: "Is that a new chair?"
 

JustSarah

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Well I write primarily about the underclass. Rather than dialogue tags, I tend to write out what they are doing in between dialogue.

It's always struck me as strange a character doing absolutely nothing while they are being spoken to.
 

KR Mercik

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I am guilty of using far too many commas. Also guilty of shifting tense constantly (sometimes within the same sentence)! This is all fixed during editing (mostly).
 

JustSarah

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'Oh, when creating
a new style to read tonight,
blarrgh! Commas with fight!

Joking aside, same way.
 

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
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Well I write primarily about the underclass. Rather than dialogue tags, I tend to write out what they are doing in between dialogue.

It's always struck me as strange a character doing absolutely nothing while they are being spoken to.
Forgive me, but I'm not sure what the first sentence has to do with the rest?


Anyway, sins I have committed:

Having the heroine kill the main love interest half way through a romance novel. <- Cardinal sin

Adverbs. Not to excess though, so not really a sin. I make the buggers work to be included.

I was cured of my...ellipses addiction when an editor mentioned it made my heroes sound like breathy virgins :)

I use And or But to start sentences (too often in a first draft, but I edit back). But -- ha! -- I can name you a BOOK that starts with "And" and it works in that very specific instance. So it's not "never" it's "make sure you are not overusing/only using when it works"

I should stop with the dashes. Really I should, and the long convoluted sentences -- especially when I have an aside within dashes -- that do not need to be so complex.




Note as not Christian my versions of sin are perhaps not the same as everyone else's but we're talking writing sins here, not mortal ones. Sooo.....< oh look, breathy virgin. ROFL. So I figure we're all good.
 

JustSarah

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Oh, I just meant I tend to places emphasis on looks and other aspects that make the plot go to a crawl.

Thanks for pointing that out, could have worded it better.

I don't mean like grocery lists, but a lot of emphasis on body language with clothing items. Just a peculiarity I noticed.
 
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Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
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Um. this is probably me (new meds, so don't take it personally!)

But I'm still not seeing any connection? Between grocery lists and underclasses and dialogue? Uh...??? Do the not underclass not look at each other??? Or they look at each more than not-underclass or...???

I'm a little bit lost actually.

But like I say, could be me. Pretend I am a bear of little brain. You won't be far wrong :D
 
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JustSarah

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But bears are awesome, so there is that.

Well like I always had a problem with dumping out details of physical things, hoping that the reader would just get it. Like body language, and thus I so often forget that with info dumping it (at least in my own reading experience) causes me to have the opposite effect.

I forget every last detail.

Trying to remedy that with more detail across the 30K.

Like you might find in older books (like secret garden, I love you dearly, but no) how the writer dumps out all these character details, and hopes we'll remember them.

It just means I read a lot of classics.:/
 
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Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
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Well sure (I think many writers have a problem with that, especially when starting out)

I'm just not sure how that ties in to you writing about the underclass? This was my sticking point.

I was kinda wondering if overclass had botox on their shoulders or something so they couldn't shrug :D
 

JustSarah

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Oh! In my own stories, they live like industrial revolution people. Wooden shoes, and leather pants.

By contrast, the upper class leisurely leather footwear.

It was just a way to make my middle grade dark, without being like to dark. While still highlighting class differences.

Like I would classify Hardy characters as Sabot people.

Yes I know, trying work on it. I sure that doesn't become a meme, if and when I'm published.
 
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Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
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Oh! In my own stories, they live like industrial revolution people. Wooden shoes, and leather pants.

By contrast, the upper class leisurely leather footwear.

It was just a way to make my middle grade dark, without being like to dark. While still highlighting class differences.

Like I would classify Hardy characters as Sabot people.

Yes I know, trying work on it. I sure that doesn't become a meme, if and when I'm published.



Right only..

your underclass emote more than your upperclass? Or?

Like I say, meds. Make me a bit confuddled. And pedantic apparently (weird)

To put it simply in the context of the first post of yours:

You say you use tags for the underclass to show what they are doing while speaking

Do you not for everyone else?
 

JustSarah

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Oh, lets see:

"Why do I have to wear these stupid shoes," said Emelie, who stomps on the floor. Then resists throwing it at the door. "Crim'ney. What does it take to get respect in this factory."

In other words, doing something while speaking.
 

Quentin Nokov

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I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear.

:roll:

So, I must have committed an unintentional sin. We're not allowed to do stuff while talking? Like doing the dishes or eating?
 
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JustSarah

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I see what you mean, no.

Well, well more accurately there is. In that I try to characterize in this in between dialogue actions. But only do a little bit, so not like a long time goes in between dialogue.

Like the upper class might raise up their nose, and sneer.

By contrast, I use to avoid in between sentence partial actions. And thus upper class and lower were not differentiated. There was more stating what they are, and less show me what they are.
 
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kkbe

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Kallithrix: Wow, we are like twins or summat - I had mini cheddars for dinner last night, drink cold tea all the time, and haven't the slightest intention of getting out of my PJs all day :D

*high fives*
Taylor Harbin: I'm like you, but I expect everyone to hate it.

They won't, Taylor. High fives all around!*

*But first, give me a minute, I need something to wipe this Cheezit dust off my hands. Ahh, these pjs should work perfectly!
 

JustSarah

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In think how I should have worded it is, I use stereotypes in the first draft in order to find a way to subvert stereotypes in draft two.
 

morngnstar

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Well it makes sense to me. The upper class can be idle and sit around doing nothing whilst they dialogue. The poor, I picture shoveling coal while they converse, or shoveling manure. Shoveling something.
 

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
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Even being idle they still do stuff (body language still occurs while they talk/hunt/whatever, though possibly in microcosm)

Theyare still people after all.



It was the "underclasses = body movement" that confused me

People move. people shrug or don't. If their father was a lord or a miner tends not to matter in the major differences. All, frex, Brits shrug. Upper, Lower, Upper Lower Middle...

How they do may be a factor but people don't have a bodylanguagectomy in Harley Street when they become posh
The upper class can be idle and sit around doing nothing whilst they dialogue. The poor, I picture shoveling coal while they converse, or shoveling manure. Shoveling something

Masterclass in stereotyping. Well done.
 
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Beachgirl

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I am addicted to ellipses and em dashes.

Oh, and I had nothing but ice cream for dinner tonight.

*hangs head in shame*
 
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I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear.

How did I become so calloused you ask? When exactly, was the point that human suffering and death didn't touch me any longer?

There was no point exactly, it came in small degrees. Being a street medic for 25 years exposed me to the ugly side of life. You either live with it, or you die. But there comes a time when you no longer hear the screams of the dying, even the young, you learn just to let them die around you while you tend those who might live.
 
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