Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

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Elysium

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I was the only kid in first grade who hadn't had her ears pierced as a baby, and one of the only two kids who hadn't been baptized (the other was Jewish). I got horribly bullied, especially for the latter.

So did the other girl. I remember, when we were six, a group of girls were ganged up on her, telling her how 'it's totally find that you're Jewish, just remember that the Jewish god isn't real' and... Yeah, she went home in tears a few times.

That's horrible. :(

A lot of the Jewish kids at my school get teased/talked about. But no one ever says anything like that to them, at least I don't think so.
 

Zoealea

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I was one of two kids in my whole elementary school who was Jewish. I don't think I ever got bullied or anything. In middle school when I was a 6th grader, there was an 8th grader who spent the whole lunch hour telling me why Jews don't deserve to live. So that was interesting.

I got my ears pierced a few months after I was born. The doctor yelled at my mom for doing it when I was so young, cuz I was born premature. xD
 

amlptj

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I still find it more boyish, just a matter of personal opinion.

Sorry for you and the other girl. Bullying sucks. I used to be bullied for the opposite, for being religious. Granted i wasnt actually all that religious and i was going to a catholic school.
 

Thalia

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I then switched to an 80% Jewish school. All really, really rich Jewish girls with awesome bat mitzvahs.
 

Elysium

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I got bullied for not being religious and for using proper English. I was the only one in my grade who actually did their work in elementary school, so I got teased for that. I got teased for pretty much everything. Why are kids so cruel to each other?
 

Elysium

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I then switched to an 80% Jewish school. All really, really rich Jewish girls with awesome bat mitzvahs.

Most of the kids I go to school with are Jewish. I also live a predominately Jewish neighborhood which makes people stop and stare at me and my mom. It was weird at first but I got used to it.
 

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I've never been to a bat mitzvah. xD
I don't even think I could have had one when I turned 13, because I was never in hebrew school.

I never got teased for doing my work, because I've always been one of those people who hid the fact that they care about their grades and such.
 

Thalia

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XD yeah, I know more about Judaism than Christianity. Though I am far from an expert on either.

Shit, I feel sick and I'm going to bed. See ya.
 

amlptj

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my life story. For 5 year i was in a never ending hell. Stuck in a class of only 18 kids for 5 years. I was the only white girl... people say racism cant go the other way around and that's a lie. First day there I was asked why "i spoke properly" I shrugged and there started the hell. From that day on. I was teased for being stupid because i couldn't read out loud well (still cant because of the ansiety/PTSD i have from gradeschool) I was teased for being smart. For the cloths i wore, for the music i listened to, for the shows i watched, for every physical feature i had, for the way i talked, for how i was so "religious", for being a prude, for having no friends (ironically because of them), For studying, for anything they could think of at the time. By 8th grade i was a selective mute and was so scared by everything they put me through I still havent completely recovered and still have many phobia's associated from things they did to me. Like for example i cant use public restrooms, cant wear sweatpants outside, cant read out loud, cant eat by myself in public, and have an extremely hard time making friends.
 

Thalia

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Just checked in...

That's horrible, Ally. That's so, so horrible. I'm so sorry, and I'm in awe of how strong you are to have come out of that as such an awesome person.
 

Elysium

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I have a hard time making friends too, Ally. It stemmed from elementary school. I had a couple of friends, sure, but I still got teased and bullied a lot. When I got to middle school, it got a little better but I still felt like a social outcast because most of the kids I went to school with were well-off and had all of things I couldn't have.

People are so cruel and it's like they don't even care if they hurt your feelings/make you feel self-conscious about yourself. I could never do that someone though.
 

amlptj

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Thanks Tally. Shockingly never even got therapy, although probably should have. I wrote instead, so guess i cant stay it was all for nothing, for its the reason LotF was born.
 

Elysium

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Therapy is overratted. I went to a couple of sessions when I was younger. I had just met my dad for the first time and things at school were getting worse, so my mom took me to go see this doctor who kept asking me to draw pictures and talk about my feelings but I would never talk. I would just sit there until it was over, needless to say my mom didn't make me go anymore.
 

amlptj

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I feel your pain Ely. I lost all my friends outside of school when i was 11. I was a hermit for the next 5 years. Never went outside... unless i had too. Even in highschool. I made friends in highschool, but gradeschool left me with a weird complex, in which I just automatically think everyone hates me, but some people are too nice to say it to me so they just put up with me... this complex has stayed with me even today. Yes i know its not the truth but still lingers in the back of my mind. Hence why i'm very standoffish when people try to be my friend. I'm getting better though. It does get better with time.

One thing i found that helped me... was Unsung Zeros. Its half autobiography of what happened to me in childhood and half fiction of what i wish could have happened to my bullies. Helped me confront it all and half move past it.
 

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I see a therapist right now for my anxiety stuff. Luckily she's an adult therapist, so I don't feel super young when talking to her. It helps, but it doesn't. (I don't know if that makes sense.)
 

amlptj

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I'm very skeptical when it comes to therapy, my school is mandating that i start it based on a mental breakdown i had last semester. So soon i'm going to have to find one. Personally I know why i'm the way i am. Most stems from bullying, other stuff from my mom and grandmom. Why do i need to talk it all out if i KNOW why I am the way i am. Not like they are going to give me some epic breakthough that will make me change.
 

amlptj

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Another thing i found ironically only yesterday was this. You would all like it.

Bully- by Shinedown.
 

Elysium

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I feel your pain Ely. I lost all my friends outside of school when i was 11. I was a hermit for the next 5 years. Never went outside... unless i had too. Even in highschool. I made friends in highschool, but gradeschool left me with a weird complex, in which I just automatically think everyone hates me, but some people are too nice to say it to me so they just put up with me... this complex has stayed with me even today. Yes i know its not the truth but still lingers in the back of my mind. Hence why i'm very standoffish when people try to be my friend. I'm getting better though. It does get better with time.

One thing i found that helped me... was Unsung Zeros. Its half autobiography of what happened to me in childhood and half fiction of what i wish could have happened to my bullies. Helped me confront it all and half move past it.

I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I mean part of me knows people don't really hate me, it's just when I'm talking to someone I feel like they would rather be talking to someone else and...that's why I don't usually initiate conversations and then I get sad, but it doesn't seem like I can tell anyone because I know my mom will worry and I don't want people thinking that there's something wrong with me. *sighs* I hope it does get better with time.

I'd like to think writing is therapy for me too. Writing about other characters with more interesting lives than mine, makes everything okay for a while, until I go back to school and realize how not okay everything truly is, if that makes any sense.
 

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I feel that way too (re thinking people hate me). I'm also super awkward when I talk to most people (unless they're like book bloggers/authors who I have come to know online but then I meet them online), so I always think that I'm super disappointing when it comes to having conversations with people. So while I'm talking to people irl, my internal monologue goes crazy worrying if I'm disappointing the person I'm talking to.
 

Elysium

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It's so much easier to talk to people online and people who I know very well. I don't do too well around strangers, especially if they're my age. I feel more comfortable around people older than me. I could never relate to anyone my age, unless they're writers.
 

Zoealea

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Same here, Ely. I have such a hard time relating to people my age.

Edit- I don't know what color to paint my nails. I'm trying to choose between this, this, this, or this.
 
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amlptj

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Wow i'm really glad i'm not the only one! I thought i was really weird with that. I explained why i have issues talking to people and often get depressed after i do to my boyfriend who freshman year thought i was rather clingy. I explained it all too him and his response was to "Just try and stop thinking like that" but its like a compulsion. You just cant help it you know.

I know what you mean about writing about people who's lives are more interesting. Because i started writing at such a young age, it all started off with a way to cope with life. I was tired of being so depressed, lonely and worthless, so i created a world were i wasnt in my head. It got to the point that i couldnt keep it all straight anymore, so I started writing it out. A world were i was special, and i had friends. That World because LotF, its been an obsession for me ever since. Only thing that really makes me happy.

Yes with time it will get easier. With time you will meet people (i met them late in college) who are alot like you. You will met those people who have gone through similar stuff and who understand you. I met 2... only last year. There good friends of mine now.
 
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