Fear of Public Speaking

TsukiRyoko

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I think the only cure is to do it a couple of times. It was never as bad as I thought.
Aye to this- once you've done it a few times, it helps take the nervousness away and you know what to expect. Also, try to use your nervous energy to your advantage- transform it into productive energy, and you'd be surprised how it helps your speech. It's all about your mindset- if you expect it to go terribly, it will. If you push the fear of bombing out of your head, you'll do just fine. And, even if you do bomb, people are people and people make mistakes. Usually the most that happens is someone might giggle and then they let it go. People don't get enough credit for how understanding they can be.
 

rainboy

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Think about it.

What's really the difference between presenting something for one person and a bunch of people? It's not like the IQ of a room full of people goes up because their individual IQs somehow get added together, making a room full of people smarter and thus better at discerning flaws in your presentation. The IQ average most likely remains constant no matter how many people you add to the equation so it's not going to make a difference. Talking in front of a thousand people is like talking to one person a thousand times -- at once. The upside? You save a lot of time.

But I guess phobia is defined as an irrational fear so what's the point of me trying to rationalize things. You might just have to practise and then eventually it'll become second nature and the fear will go away...

I agree with TsukiRyoko who said "People don't get enough credit for how understanding they can be." People will usually let a lot of mistakes slide. Often they'll want you to succeed and do well. If you screw up in a major way and end up getting visibly embarrassed, chances are they won't even laugh at you or point fingers, but simply get a little embarrassed themselves on your behalf. If you go in with the mindset that everyone is there to see you fail or make you squirm, you'll only make things harder for yourself. Just focus on the task at hand and not at what everyone might be thinking. Easier said than done, I know...
 

Briandroy

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Is the fear of public speaking and fear of public posting in the same ballpark?
Once nervous to speak in front of a group I can to the same realization that rainboy touched on. Most people are not nervous when they speak with 3 or 4 people, until those people are sitting in front of them.
Spending some time as a Corporate Sales Trainer, I found the only difference in speaking to one or one hundred is your perspective. To this day when speaking to a group I will only talk to the one or two people whose body language is giving me positive feedback.
Most comfortable with speaking in public, I am afraid to of ‘cold calling’ on the phone or posting messages on public forums.
I would rather give a speech to hundreds of people and find out afterwards that my zipper was down than make 20 telemarketing calls.
 

Chrisla

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I used to take an F in high school classes, rather than give an oral report. Even as a PTA Secretary, my voice shook when I read the minutes. Then, when I got to college, they'd screwed up my registration, and one of the only classes open to me was Public Speaking. Because I dreaded it so much, I memorized my material for each speech. Not a good idea, but I became a good enough actress that I could pull it off. My A's in that class gave me more confidence, and by the time I got to the classes that included a presentation as part of the grade, I'd become much more comfortable and only memorized my talking points. Knowing I had that next branch to jump to helped tremendously. Of course, I also knew my material. I ended up teaching adult classes, and now I don't mind speaking in public.

I agree with those who say that the only way to master this fear is to confront it, especially if you know it's something you're going to have to do.
 

Aschenbach

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my voice shook when I read the minutes

The biggest give away. I hate public speaking. I have had to do to it a number of times, and have learnt the experience can be made less dreadful by knowing intimately what you have to say, having a positive attitude, adopting confident body language etc.

But despite all these tricks my darned voice still wobbles around like a toddler on a bicycle. I just can't control it, and it shows my confident and assured front to be exactly that - a front.

I had to give a best man's speech at a wedding, something I actively dreaded for months. But strangely, a few minutes before the speech, all the worry dropped away and I stood up and delivered the speech smoothly and calmly. It was almost like I had left my body.

Of course, afterwards, people asked me what the hell I was mumbling about, and why my face was bright red. The bride and groom have not spoken to me since.
 

Nick Russell

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I was also one of those high school students who would take an F over reading a report in class.

In my 25+ year career owning and publishing small town newspapers, my publications won many, many awards from everything from the Chamber of Commerce to civic organizations, to newspaper associations. Not once in all of those years did I ever attend and accept an award. I always sent one of my editors or office managers, because I was terrified to get up there and say thank you to the crowd.

For the last 9 ½ years we have traveled fulltime in an RV and I publish an RV travel newspaper www.gypsyjournal.net. About six months into publishing the RV paper, I was drafted into giving an hour long seminar on working on the road at an RV rally. I tried to get out of it, but was stuck. Another long time public speaker said “Just remember, those people came to hear what you have to share. They don’t want you to fail, they aren’t there to judge you, they want to listen to you.”

I rehearsed my talk for weeks. I was up all night the night before, sick to my stomach. I had to walk about ¼ mile from my RV to the seminar room, and I threw up three times on that walk, at every trash barrel I came to. I just knew I was going to pass out on stage in front of everybody. I would have gladly gone back into combat rather than get up there with everybody staring at me.

But something happened when I stepped onto that stage. The first thing I said was “I’m scared to death up here, folks, so if I fall over or something, please throw water on me.” Everybody laughed, and I could tell by the look on their faces that they were all pulling for me.

I had a friend who was sitting in the front row, and I looked at her and just began to talk to her, giving my speech. She nodded and smiled, and I tried to forget that there were 150 or so other people there. About 5 minutes into my talk, someone from the audience said “You’re talking way too fast, Nick. Slow down and relax. We’ve got all day.” Without thinking, I blurted out “The sooner I get done, the sooner I can get off this damned stage!” and everybody broke up.

I can’t explain it, but knowing that I had the ability to make people laughed changed everything. I forgot my rehearsed spiel and just began to relax and talk about the subject in general. In what seemed like minutes, the hour was over, and I got a very long round of applause. People came up to me as I was getting off the stage to tell me how much they appreciated my information, and to tell me how much they enjoyed my talk. And I realized that after those first few rough minutes, I enjoyed it too.

Since then I have talked before groups as large as 1,500 people at RV rallies and RV shows, and I have become a core instructor for the Life on Wheels www.rvlifeonwheels.com program. I routinely present ten 90 minute seminars in 2½ days at a Life on Wheels conference. I also present seminars and workshops on writing and self-publishing across the country. On average, I do from 75 to 100 seminars a year.

I also act as master of ceremonies for the evening entertainment at the two big RV rallies our newspaper puts on every year. We just finished one last week in Ohio, where the crowd was over 300 people.

And I love every minute of it. I find I’m a bit of a ham, and I seem to have the ability to make people laugh and learn at the same time. And I am so very glad I got over my terror of public speaking, because it has opened up many doors for my personally, professionally, and financially. I really urge anybody who shares the fears I did to force yourself to face that fear and overcome it. Start out small, with just a small group, and work your way up. But start, because the rewards can be great.
 

Chrisla

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And I love every minute of it. I find I’m a bit of a ham, and I seem to have the ability to make people laugh and learn at the same time. And I am so very glad I got over my terror of public speaking, because it has opened up many doors for my personally, professionally, and financially. I really urge anybody who shares the fears I did to force yourself to face that fear and overcome it. Start out small, with just a small group, and work your way up. But start, because the rewards can be great.

I had that same experience, when I spoke at a friend's retirement dinner. From the crowd's first laugh, I became a ham. Its fun to make friends and family laugh, but to have a large crowd laugh? Awesome! And you're right; once that happens, you know they're with you. Maybe that old saw about starting a speech is dead on target. Providing, of course, that the joke is funny.
 

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I found a perfect solution not mentioned here.

I have delt with the crippling fear of public speaking...hell speaking to anyone in a directed manner...job interviews for example.

I remember the very moment it started for me. I went to Catholic school all my life. Once a week everyone in the school including lots of parents and locals would come to celebrate Mass on Friday. In the Friday Masses, the school children would take up all the non-priest roles in the Mass, ie readings, carrying the Alter equipment, choir etc.

It was my classes turn to do the Mass. I was 10 years old in 4th grade. My hand shot up for volunteers to do the First Reading. I was so excited!!! The First Reading was like an honor to do. It is always very long and is read directly from the Bible.

We had a rehersal...everything went fine. Just my classmates. However, Friday rolled around and I found myself up on the podium with a microphone in my face and hundreds of people in front of me. I started the reading fine, but to my ultimate DOOM my best friend was standing next to the podium...she had the Second Reading. She started giggleing and it interrupted my speech because soon I was giggleing too...in Church, on a microphone in front of EVERYONE in my school! Needless to say, everyone was staring at me in shock and horror. I practically broke down on the stage...couldnt finish the reading, almost burst out in tears and my teacher had to come get me off the stage.

Sooooo, after that fun experience, I have been terrified of public speaking. I turn bright red, my voice shakes badly, my hands shake like im having a seizure. I did all the regular stuff people do to avoid public speaking in high school. I did have a few good experiences but those were situations that were very casual. Definitely not the rule.

Well, I went to College...and avoided public speaking until the very last semester when I had nothing else to take. I actually petitioned my Psychaitrist to write a letter to the disabled student dept. requesting that I be exempt. He did. But, the university didnt care...even though I was also registered there with ADD.

I was left with two options. Quit school or take the class. This is what I did, and I think this advice is REALLY good for people with this problem:

I took the class at a community college. That way I wouldnt know anyone, the class would be all ages, and it would be smaller.
Before I took the class, I saw my doctor and he knew my history.
He gave me a prescription for Xanax to use before I had to do a presentation in class. It made ALL the difference in the world. I passed the class with a straight A! The Xanax took the edge off my nervousness...it was almost miraculious. I would still be nervous, but it literally blocked the panic...I had no reservations and I did fantastic!!! Also another good medication is called Propranolol. It is used to lower blood pressure, but it also blocks physical response to panic...ie rapid heart beat, sweating etc. Most doctors who wont prescribe Xanax, even temporarily (find another one who will) will give you Propranolol. It will help with the nervousness, but mainly it will help assure you that youre not going to have a heart attack. They prescribe it frequently to preformers.

But here are a few extra tips:
-If you can, try to present only what interests you or something you feel passionate about. I frequently did my oral reports on left wing politics and although some people would literally boo me when I was done, most people really liked what I had to say. Even though I got booed at the end by a few people, *they listened to me* and paid attention, and that helps too.

-Preperation does help, but don't *over prepare* Don't let it become an obsession becuase that can simply add to your stress and make you sick!

-Don't just read a sheet of paper. You will get lost in it. Make index cards with the main idea and then add points you wish to discuss further. Know this information *beforehand* Don't strait read it from the card, you will look bad and sound like you are rambling. Use the cards as a guide and take natural breaks. This will particualrly help people who develop breathing problems while speaking. Reading something straight through without looking up and taking natural pauses can really start to make you upset, especailly if your breating becomes erratic.

-If possible, bring a visual aid! That can be a life saver. If you get off track or start getting really nervous, just whip that visual aid out. It takes peoples attention off *you* and gives you a moment to collect your thoughts.

I actually still really struggle with public speaking. Practice did not make prefect in my case. The worst thing for me is that I never know when its going to strike me retarded. Even after my awsome public speaking class, I have still had "deer in headlights" instances.
I usually know when I may have to speak to a group of people, so I prepare for that by taking a couple of Xanax at least 30 minutes before hand. I still cant speak through a microphone. Few people know what their voice sounds like recorded or to other people. I find the sound of my voice reverbing upsetting and distracting. This is something you might want to work up to.

-If public speaking is crippling, seriously try to take a class at a small local college. It sounds like a horrible idea, but you will find half the people in there hate it too and will be very caring and non-judgmental. The teacher will also be really helpful to make you feel comfortable. One boy in my class actually froze up and became upset. The teacher came and gave him a hug, telling him it was ok, everyone understood. All the students agreed with her and were smiling and a few also gave him a hug. He felt so much better, he actually started over and did great. :)

But one warning! If you go the Xanax route, it may become a crutch and actually make it *worse* to do a speech if you don't have the medication. I don't reccomend this for people who are just nervous or don't like speaking. This is a serious alternative for people who completely freak out and do infact have a good possibility of making an ass out of themselves. I chose to use Xanax because I have literally blown important job interviews from panic. That actually really impacts my life and I cant just sit around and hope that my phobia goes away with practice.

Sorry that was so long-winded, but it is something that has not been mentioned yet, so I felt compelled. :)
 
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Butternutty

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Before I took the class, I saw my doctor and he knew my history.
He gave me a prescription for Xanax to use before I had to do a presentation in class. It made ALL the difference in the world. I passed the class with a straight A! The Xanax took the edge off my nervousness...it was almost miraculious. I would still be nervous, but it literally blocked the panic...I had no reservations and I did fantastic!!! Also another good medication is called Propranolol. It is used to lower blood pressure, but it also blocks physical response to panic...ie rapid heart beat, sweating etc.

I came across this thread while trying to get my bearings on AW, and had to post a reply. I first developed a fear of public speaking in law school. It escalated but I was too stubborn to quit. Instead I became adept at avoiding it -- skipped classes, weasled my way onto law review to avoid moot court, that kind of thing. After graduation, I went into a specialty that stressed writing over speaking and had a good career. The phobia returned, much worse, when I started my own company during the dot-com boom and my role morphed into tech sales (I'm neither a techie or a salesperson). For those who have never experienced a full-blown panic attack, count yourselves blessed. The only thing that got me through this period was medication like propranolol and paxil (I never used Xanax as Adipocere mentions, but I'm sure it's similarly miraculous). My advice, if all else fails, talk to a doctor and get some meds. I used them for 3 or 4 months until the anxiety passed.

Then I sold my company and began writing a novel. Avoidance? Sure, but it's a lot more fun than law or sales. And as a way to get over my initial writer's block, I cursed my main character with something I know very well: glossophobia.
 
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Caty Dean

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I'm pretty shy too. My birthday is a state secret at work, so I can avoid being the center of attention. Stuff like that.

But, strangely I don't mind public presentations or speeches. First, I tell myself that I am passing along needed information, or talking about something interesting (at least to some of the audience)

That brings me to my main public speaking tool: It really helps me to focus on the people who are really listening. I look around the room, from person to person, not focusing on the ones who are distracted, and just talk to individuals rather than the entire crowd. It helps me relax, and know that people are interested (often I get smiles of encouragement, nods, etc) and also, it engages the audience...creates a sense of connection.

But mostly, for me, it feels more like a conversation than public speaking. I can do conversations.
 

dclary

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I think this is why eye contact is so important in public speaking.

If I'm in a room of people I've never met, or don't know, before I even start speaking, I glance around and look for a friendly face. I don't really know what MAKES a friendly face, but SOMEONE in the room is going to have a face I can resonate with. And if I'm lucky, there's 2 or 3 or God help me, a dozen.

I'll start speaking, and I'll start speaking to that one person only, looking at them as I go, then moving on to the other face I picked out, and then the next. So as I start speaking, I'm not talking to a big crowd. I'm just talking to a couple of people I've just met, and everything's cook and kosher. Once I get going, and am feeling more confident, I can expand, and start looking at everyone, and take in larger numbers of faces and eyes at once.
 

roncouch

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I had the same fear when I was younger. I failed a college "Children's Literature" class because I was too frightened to read a story to a classroom of grade school kids. I also choked once while trying to perform a guitar solo - just froze and could not perform. I think I grew out of my fear, or finally realized the audience was on my side. Being prepared for a speech or performance, is part of the solution. When speaking, using nervousness in the form of gestures helps. Someone told me to envision the audience naked. (Never worked for me.) Practice, as someone said, is probably key.
 

truelyana

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I think for me it's not so much the fear itself. It's more about underlining causes within different setting environments like for instances:

1. expressing myself within a contained space where people are overcrowding me, which can easily lead to:
2. putting me on the spot, and than:
3. expectations

Usually this happens when I am highly sensitive to others, and can leave me feeling rather uneasy during public speaking. What I have found that works, is if I forget about everyone and just express myself right there and then, scraping away all thoughts of others, my own and just be. I find the slower I talk the more present I am, revealing a peace about what I am actually talking about. These moments usually happen more so unexpected, whereby I can just be asked to speak off guard, or just let go and forget about it all. I like the moments where I just talk, and I don't loose myself in the conversation, those are the ones that I find the most genuine, ones which I am making the most difference in myself, and that reflects on the outside. :) I feel that is where the naturality of it all comes in.
 
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Alexruns

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Glad I found this thread as I have two presentations to do for my work for next month and my viva to look forward to and I'm not sure which one I am more worried about . . .

My worrying about presenting my own work is something to do with being totally exposed - you are reading your work aloud, live in front of a live audeince. What's the worst that could happen? I don't know - egg throwing? Although I don't think I write about anything interesting or controversial enough to have eggs splattered at my face. And I don't suppose people throw eggs out of sheer boredom . . .

I am a procrastinator and instead of using my worrying to write the damn thing, I have spent the last week perusing the net in search of some tips on presenting that will miraculously write my speeches AND present them!!

Anyway I thought I would share a few links to sites which have given me some useful presentation tips. Although I do fear I will have to do the hard work myself . . .

Presentationzen - Garr Reynolds' tips on organization and preparation, delibery and slide tips

m62 - Tips on making effective slides to support your written presentations

Presentation Helper - forum with discussions on presenting, powerpoint and writing effective speeches.

Microsoft Homepage - useful tips on using powerpoint in presentation.

Hope these prove themselves useful . . .
 

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Anyone who experiences stage fright might want to get a copy of Speak With Power and Grace: A Woman's Guide to Public Speaking, by Linda D. Swink.
Great information. Very helpful.
 

AnnaC

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I'm so glad I found this thread and read through it. I'm getting ready to start a statewide book tour and will be doing public readings. I'm terrified of getting in front of a room full of people. I hate the spotlight and wish I could just cower in the corner. But I am trying my best to fight this fear because I won't let this opportunity pass me by.

Thank you to everyone who posted their own stories about their fear of public speaking and the advice given. I will be using the advice!


Anna
 

mario_c

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This may be a weird question, but has anyone used a business coach or other kind of "life coach" mentor?
 

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I have taught public speaking classes at a community college and just wanted to add that most of the time, the audience is not aware of your nerves. Most people are afraid of public speaking and even if your voice shakes or your hands tremble, you'd be surprised at how understanding people are because most of them have the same fear you do!

That said, the best way to get past the nerves is just practice. The more you speak, the more you will be able to manage your nerves.
 

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I always hated public speaking and the spotlight. I always afraid of it. I always thought it will be hard and I'm going to say blablabla in my confusion and going to laugh at myself when I watch back. But when I needed to give my very first report, somehow everything went fine and everything was so natural. And as I watched the report back via TV, I was really-really surprised.

Since that time not so much changed. I'm still nervous before any interview, just as before the first time... then somehow the interview always goes fine as I forget the camera and rather focus on the reporter.
 

Lavern08

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The key to public speaking is: Know your subject inside and out.

Most people fear being perceived as a moron. :Shrug:

However, you will be more comfortable and hence, more confident if you have a thorough grasp of whatever it is you're talking about.

What always works for me: Open with a funny or humorous one-liner.

Once you have your audience laughing, they relax and are more open to listening to what you have to say (you can see it on their faces)

and even more important, you relax and are more comfortable talking to them.

Of course, sometimes this isn't always appropriate at a Funeral ;)
 

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Here r the steps which should help u cause they really helped me:

1. stand up & take any reading material & read them aloud.

2. find a full body size mirror. Stand in front of the mirror & speak 2 ur own reflection.

3. never make a mistake of preparing ur speech b4 u present in public. that's the worst thing 2 do. Always speak ur mind.

4. (refer 2 previous point) speak from ur own knowledge. Whatever u know is right.
 
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Hittman

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I'm one of the strange ones – I love being in front of a crowd, and it doesn't matter what the circumstance is. I've done theater, improv, comedy music, awards presentations and panels, and revel in it.

I recommend taking an improv class.

That won't hurt, but improv skills and public speaking skills are two very different things. If you take it a step further and join an improv troupe, though, it will help you get over your stage fright.

What's the worst that could happen?

My pants could fall down.
I could throw up ... again.
I could forget how to speak.
I could forget how to walk.
I could have a stroke and start babbling backwards in Latin.
I could accidentally call down a plague on the audience.

In other words, you could embarrass yourself.

Which isn't the end of the world. It really isn't. It's not permanent damage, and may even give you a good story to tell later. (After all, we're all storytellers here.)

only two things have helped: passion and preparation.

Preparation is huge. Passion is important, but without preparation you can do a bad job, passionately.

The other thing that I've learned is to not even acknowledge being shy or uncomfortable. Just put that in the "nobody's business" category and get on with the matter at hand.

Absolutely. Every time I've seen someone start out with an apology for being nervous or uncomfortable they've gone on to give a nervous, uncomfortable speech, and made everyone else in the audience nervous and uncomfortable in the process.

They have no idea how nervous I was.

They really didn't, and that's because you didn't start out with an apology for being so nervous.

Also, try to use your nervous energy to your advantage- transform it into productive energy, and you'd be surprised how it helps your speech.

I don't get stage fright very often, and I miss it. It provides a shot of nervous energy that gives me a jump start, and then it disappears.

I agree with TsukiRyoko who said "People don't get enough credit for how understanding they can be." People will usually let a lot of mistakes slide. Often they'll want you to succeed and do well

Speakers tend to forget or discount this, but it's true. They want to like you. They've willingly given up their time (and sometimes their money) to hear you, and they want it to be a positive experience.

It was almost like I had left my body.

Yes! Performers experience this quite often. It's almost like you're standing off to the side, watching yourself perform, and it's amazing. Sometimes you don't even remember what you said or did afterwards. People say "I loved it when you said X" and you thank them, with no recollection of saying it.

What always works for me: Open with a funny or humorous one-liner.

That's great if it works for you, but dangerous for someone who is inexperienced and nervous. If the joke is lame or offends some in the audience it can be a disaster.
 

Chazemataz

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I used to get terrified beyond belief when I had to present something in front of the class. I'd cry, shake, get bad diareha, have stomach aches, puke, the whole 9 yards. Then I took an English class in which my EVVVILLL teacher made us do that kind of thing monthly, for 5 minutes at least.

I got over it in about 3 months. I thought he was awful at the time, but I can't thank him ENOUGH. In my Senior English class, I can now give speeches without visibly shaking or getting worked up, stuttering, ect.

The best thing to remember is that everyone else has to do the exact same thing as you, and so will likely relate to you in some way. Unless you do something like faint, nobody will really care, so you may as well make it as best and overblown as possible. Try to act casual and "light conversation"-esque. Make sure you act flexible and behave as if you are talking to a friend.

Those are tips that helped old social phobic me, so they could probably help you, too. :)