A lot of the 'rules' you see in here have evolved over the years, as the site owner and mods have worked out what seems to move discussions forward - and what tends to derail them. A lot is simple, basic respect for your fellow human beings.
Some of the rules are merely reflections of the erotic romance e-pub industry, as separate from the Wild-West behavior of the Kindle Erotica boards (and self-publishers). The Kindle Erotica folk appear to be a similar group to the fearless and funky authors I read on Nifty.org a decade or two ago: some of it was great, some was awful, some should have stayed in the heads of the potential serial killers who wrote it. But some stories were sublime (thank you, Elf Sternberg!)
I've also read stuff in mainstream science fiction and fantasy from 30 years ago that would never fit today's house rules of say, Samhain, Loose, Id, or Siren. Most E-rom publishers' house rules are there because that's what their readership wants and will reward. A few years back, you would have seen very little crossover between SFF readers and erotic romance readers, with strong aversions on either side. More of us in either category are reading and writing back-and-forth now, so it will be interesting to watch SFF become more graphic and erotic romance follow the trend toward more complex and plotty books.
Part of the house rules conumdrum comes from the interplay between the erotic romance readerships and mainstream public opinion. Both the examples of 'Fifty Shades' and 'Dinoporn' show that entire genre categories can rise and fall on the reputations of a few (infamous) examples.
More than mainstream SFF publishers, e-rom publishers need to exist within a window of public and corporate goodwill, or risk negative exposure and loss of vendor payment services. Those publishers may come across as oddly more conservative in some things, compared to aspects of the Big Five mainstream publishers.
The AW Erotica Forum can't and doesn't speak for the entire erotic romance or erotica industries. It's a social group built among many different writers and readers, who seem to form a fairly good cross section of two specific and separate genres.
From what I've seen as a spectator, we're open to discussions and evaluations of those rules. But like any craft, it helps to know the rules first and why they came about.
