Should be represented but not by me....

Those are the worst. It's always hard when they people you're sending it to like the story, but not enough to buy.

What Calla said. I wrote four books that all ended up getting published by small presses after getting over 100 agent rejections each. Yeah, it's tough hearing the word "no" for five years straight, but it paid off with the fifth book - I now have an agent. Never give up.

Sounds like you wrote something meaningful, something from the heart. Something from which others can learn. Imagine you might already be published if it were just something Steampunk, Dystopian, or with vampires, heroes and heroins spinning around flashing Glocks, or about teenage romance, or "edgy" young adult. Following some of the agents "in the know" on Twitter is even more depressing. Yes, I'm a bit cynical.

I deserved that, and still have a lot to learn, so thanks. I'll think before typing next time.

Memoirs seem to be a tough sell these days unless they're written by famous people, or deal with one of a small number of "hot" topics. That's not a judgment on you or your story, and it doesn't mean the market is soulless. Reader demands come in waves, and the market seems to have swung back from a memoir boom (in the late '90s) to a fiction-especially-YA boom.

Doesn't mean you should stop trying. My friend published her brilliant memoir with a small publisher after a Big Five editor told her that "Alzheimer's memoirs haven't been selling." It's still finding readers. But because the field is saturated (so many people writing about caring for parents with dementia), the big pub was understandably reluctant to take it on.

I'll admit to writing for the market to a certain degree, but that means figuring out where my tastes and the market overlap. If I don't love a story to bits, forget it; there are far easier ways to make money. Sexy new adult romances sell like hotcakes, for instance, but they're not my thing and I couldn't do them well, so I'm not trying to. I got into YA because I realized that was where authors were telling the kinds of stories I wanted to tell.

Cochinay said:

Sounds like you wrote something meaningful, something from the heart. Something from which others can learn. Imagine you might already be published if it were just something Steampunk, Dystopian, or with vampires, heroes and heroins spinning around flashing Glocks, or about teenage romance, or "edgy" young adult. Following some of the agents "in the know" on Twitter is even more depressing. Yes, I'm a bit cynical.

Click to expand...

Yes, all these things require less talent, less skill, and never have anything important to say. I don't think cynicism is your problem, I think totally failing to understand what fiction is all about, what "meaningful" even means, and nothing about what is or isn't written from the heart.

nealraisman said:

Well, I have sent out the queries for my book Standing on One Foot which is a memoir about my son's death, the grief that followed and how we finally learned how to stand on one foot and embrace life again. It is a grittier, rawer memoir of the journey than others of its ilk like Comfort and Griefland and getting good reviews off the query/proposal but... I have received nineteen comments that this should be represented and published but not a fit for me. I think I would prefer this is crap rather than the this is a "great proposal and I think you have something good here but I will have to pass".

I'll keep sending it out but it is getting depressing to get praise and no bites. Sucks the spirit dry. Maybe I'll just self-pub. I'll send myself a response that this is a good book but not for me just to keep things going....

Click to expand...

If you keep receiving the same rejections over and over, something is seriously wrong. You need to find out what it is, and fix it. Self-publishing will not fix the problem.

The problem may be anything from your presentation, to the agents you're choosing, to the quality of writing in the proposal, to what the proposal says about the book.

The the subject of the memoir isn't famous in some way, quality of writing means everything. It has to be stellar to interest agents, editors, or readers.

I know nonfiction books are usually sold based on a proposal, but this does not mean an agent or editor won't ask for sample chapters, if you let them know they;re available. They can do this without commitment, and make a decision based on how well you tell the story, rather than just on the proposal alone.

nealraisman said:

I have received nineteen comments that this should be represented and published but not a fit for me. I think I would prefer this is crap rather than the this is a "great proposal and I think you have something good here but I will have to pass"

Click to expand...

As Unimportant says...
Are they personalized rejections? Often form rejections sound fairly positive. Like, I got one from a publisher that said, "I have every confidence you will find a home for your work," for example. But I know it's a form. Another included the line, "Although your manuscript has a lot to recommend it..." Definitely a form, though.

"Not a good fit" is a pretty standard line in form rejections, in my experience. I have yet to have a rejection tell me that "this is crap."