Michelson
It is almost universally true that when we read or hear of people who claim to have been abducted by space aliens, there is mention of a “probing” incident. The accounts rarely specify the particular orifice involved in the probing, but I think we all know which one it is.
If true, this is both a puzzling and an alarming phenomenon, for it is difficult to imagine beings who have mastered the immense technical complexities associated with inter-stellar, perhaps even inter-galactic, space travel, for the primary purpose of flitting about the universe, inserting God-knows-what-all into the anal regions of the various life forms they encounter.
I often wonder… are these creatures, ostensibly benevolent and proctologically oriented, on a mission to stamp out cancer by performing random colonoscopies throughout the universe? Or has our planet developed a reputation of being the “anus of the galaxy,” and when space travelers meet and the subject of our solar system arises, some creature invariably says, “Have you been to the third planet? You won’t believe what a$$holes the dominant life form is.” Whereupon the listeners, apparently taking this statement far too literally, decide they have to investigate the matter for themselves.
And the point of all this? I’m not really sure, other than to suggest that when you travel to high abduction areas (Arkansas, for example) it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take along an emergency tube of K-Y Jelly.
If true, this is both a puzzling and an alarming phenomenon, for it is difficult to imagine beings who have mastered the immense technical complexities associated with inter-stellar, perhaps even inter-galactic, space travel, for the primary purpose of flitting about the universe, inserting God-knows-what-all into the anal regions of the various life forms they encounter.
I often wonder… are these creatures, ostensibly benevolent and proctologically oriented, on a mission to stamp out cancer by performing random colonoscopies throughout the universe? Or has our planet developed a reputation of being the “anus of the galaxy,” and when space travelers meet and the subject of our solar system arises, some creature invariably says, “Have you been to the third planet? You won’t believe what a$$holes the dominant life form is.” Whereupon the listeners, apparently taking this statement far too literally, decide they have to investigate the matter for themselves.
And the point of all this? I’m not really sure, other than to suggest that when you travel to high abduction areas (Arkansas, for example) it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take along an emergency tube of K-Y Jelly.