Describing facial expressions

janetbellinger said:

I would still leave out the eye rolling. You can hear the sarcasm in her voice which does the job nicely. I once read that you shouldn't write something that's been said before. Eye rolling has been done to death.

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I agree. In this case, the dialogue does the job (I'm just too good with dialogue, HAHA! )

What I was illustrating was when a body language, etc. was necessary. A better example would be:

She staggered and steadied herself, leaning against the window. "I'm okay."


In this case, the dialogue itself is clearly not enough to convey to convey her actual state. By "showing" her action or body language, we get a full picture of what she's really feeling, but she's saying something else.

Sage said:

What abou when a person isn't speaking, though?

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I had a character who couldn't speak. I don't think I used a lot of facial expressions. I simply let the narrator figure out and report on how he interpreted her expression: "She's baffled" etc. In this case, I'm doing a little telling but I feel that reporting on her every facial expression or body language would be an overkill.

Facial expressions, including eye rolling, are in my toolbox - ready for use as and when necessary.

One of my favorite examples of body language done well is in Master of None by N. Lee Wood. I don't have the copy in front of me at the moment, but in the scene I'm thinking of, someone is speaking to the main character, and you first realize that he is reacting angrily because the speaker's tone changes between one sentence and the next. Only after the speech ends do you see the main character relax his hands, which had begun white-knuckling the edge of the table. So you never actually see him tense up--it's implied by the speaker's change of tone and the main character's subsequent untensing.

Most the time, I get annoyed at how reading like a writer has spoiled my ability to read without analyzing. But this time I was grateful for it. If I hadn't learned to read like a writer, I wouldn't have known to go "Wow."

Sage said:

Is the character the type of person who would shrug instead of saying, "I don't know," or roll their eyes instead of saying something sarcastic?). I am usually impressed when I notice that an author has demonstrated a character's feelings by their movements, rather than their dialogue. Not everyone speaks everything on their mind.

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I couldn't agree more. Not only this but a character might usually be one to say "I don't know." Thus if he/she merely shrugs in response there is a clear distinction made, indicating he/she is out of sorts.

I believe that the very opposite of what many people have been saying, can be just as true. That a good physical description can not only allow readers to draw their own conclusions regarding actual feeling without the need to spell it out, but also provide a very rich image for the reader to work with. Our characters are as much part of the scene as the chair they sit on, or the clothes they choose to wear that day, and the weather outside. Of course not all of these things are worth mentioning always, but if they are mentioned it should be for a good reason, to inform the reader.

In truth I think it merely comes down to a question of writing style. It's unfair to state or imply that one method or style of descriptive narrative regarding characterisation is out-dated or cliche merely because it has been done before. Very little has not been done before, unless you're Shakespeare. If that's the doctrine we all might have to give up now. It's not so much the method as the application that denotes quality in prose.

Repetition is something to clearly be avoided unless it serves a purpose however, which I believe was the original question. Do people get stuck trying to describe a characters expression?

Yes, all the time. You are not alone. Sometimes I can see the exact face a character is pulling, and it's so very specific I need to share it with the reader, and am often at a loss for the exact wording. Even an extreme physical description somehow does not fulfill my intention. It can be hugely frustrating. At this point I chuck out the whole paragraph and start again. From another source or POV.

Best advice for this is to compile a lists of useful descriptions, as you write and grow and learn your OWN style. A Thesaurus is invaluable.

Some writers like the reader to draw their own conclusions always, others spoon feed the whole way, and occasionally an author combines the two with great effect, denying the spoon feed at just the right time!

If characters only ever communicate on the page when they are moved to be verbal you have to hope the reader has a wild imagination! Lack of imagination does not equal stupidity. And in any case, you write to your own perceived audience.

Writing, just like language is changing every day. So play with it. Don't set yourself boundaries. If something isn't working, find a new approach. If you can't find the right word, pull a Shakespeare... how else do you think we evolve?

Good luck!

I'm a big believer in saying someone smiled if they smiled. People smile often, and if you try too hard to get around it, that's going to be obvious. Yes, you do have to vary it from time to time, but it becomes very obvious is you use ten words to just say "smile" every single time. Saying, "he smiled" can come across differently depending on the words around it.

"I brought you a present. It's on the kitchen table." He flashed a smile, and said, "But, you know, I just saw it at the store, and I figured I might as well. It's nothing big."
Or.
"Oh, isn't that a shame?" He smiled. Just like the cat that swallowed the canary, Sue thought.

You can also vary how the smile, shrug, or so forth is described.

He heaved his bulky shoulders and let them fall, as if he didn't even care about not caring.
Or:
She lifted one shoulder lightly and said, "Yeah? So?"
Or:
His heavy brows knit and the wrinkles around his mouth deepened.
Or:
Her lips pushed out and one side of her mouth dropped. Next thing he knew, she was yelling and crying at the same time.

I am always focusing on subtle facial changes--maybe too much, but I've never heard that from readers. I tend to notice that in real life, becuase I rarely notice people's hair, clothes, or appearance as much as I notice the way their face and body moves. If you want to do something beyond "smile", I think the key is to pinpoint what about that facial expression is striking, and how it defines the character. Everyone's smile is a little different, and one smile (happy) is not like another (sarcastic). How do they differ?

KAM said:

For fun, I just checked my newly finished 85k first draft - and found 49 smiles and 94 nods.

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Which comes to the total of 0.1% of the words in your novel. Situational dependent, I doubt that is enough to be bothersome. It's definitely worth checking out and seeing if a more appropriate gesture would work, or if the dialog can carry it without the gesture.

"Jerry shrugged and looked up with a pained expression in his eyes."

It's hard to get away from 'telling' altogether, but I think the above can be OK. It's the perception of the POV character. To me, that shrug tells you of either resignation, feigned nonchalance, or a simple lack of words depending on the situation. I try hard to use things like this sparingly, but there needs to be enough to paint the picture for the reader. We do this automatically in real life so it's a bit hard to put into words, at least it is hard for me.

I think you can easily get into just as much, if not more, trouble by describing things too much.
"Jerry lifted his shoulders and then let them fall". Why not just say he shrugged?

I picked up an interesting book a while ago at a Half-Priced Books. It's called "Emotions Revealed" by Paul Ekman. Most of the book has to deal with the facial expressions that people give off with different emotions. It has been very helpful for me. I just look up the chapter on anger and it's right there for me. (with many photos too!)

I don't use a lot of facial expressions in my work other than a sly grin or something similar. Usually with the dialogue you can tell what mood their in and imagine their face.

I hate writing facial expressions *grits teeth, then smiles ironically*. They either end up sounding trite or contrived- in my case, both.

It's easier with first-person POV because unless the character is particularly observant, they wouldn't notice facial expressions unless they were specifically looking for a reaction. Most people are more absorbed in their own thoughts and feelings than those of the other person. Have you ever known anybody who comes up to you and gives an 'amusing' anecdote, superficially for your benefit? First-person is allowed to be subjective, whereas third-person is more objective.

And yeah, dialogue can convey a lot.

I certainly agree with Sage:

Sage said:

Characters' body movements/facial expressions are just another way to demonstrate to the audience what they are feeling or thinking. There are many reasons to use them rather than dialogue (For example, are the characters in a situation where they need to be quiet? Is a non-POV character saying one thing, but thinking another? Is the character the type of person who would shrug instead of saying, "I don't know," or roll their eyes instead of saying something sarcastic?). I am usually impressed when I notice that an author has demonstrated a character's feelings by their movements, rather than their dialogue. Not everyone speaks everything on their mind.

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Of course, I agree with Bufty .

Bufty said:

Facial expressions, including eye rolling, are in my toolbox - ready for use as and when necessary.

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And overall, I agree with Antonia:

Antonia said:

Not only this but a character might usually be one to say "I don't know." Thus if he/she merely shrugs in response there is a clear distinction made, indicating he/she is out of sorts.

I believe that the very opposite of what many people have been saying, can be just as true. That a good physical description can not only allow readers to draw their own conclusions regarding actual feeling without the need to spell it out, but also provide a very rich image for the reader to work with. Our characters are as much part of the scene as the chair they sit on, or the clothes they choose to wear that day, and the weather outside. Of course not all of these things are worth mentioning always, but if they are mentioned it should be for a good reason, to inform the reader.

In truth I think it merely comes down to a question of writing style. It's unfair to state or imply that one method or style of descriptive narrative regarding characterisation is out-dated or cliche merely because it has been done before. Very little has not been done before, unless you're Shakespeare. If that's the doctrine we all might have to give up now. It's not so much the method as the application that denotes quality in prose.

Repetition is something to clearly be avoided unless it serves a purpose however, which I believe was the original question. Do people get stuck trying to describe a characters expression?

Yes, all the time. You are not alone. Sometimes I can see the exact face a character is pulling, and it's so very specific I need to share it with the reader, and am often at a loss for the exact wording. Even an extreme physical description somehow does not fulfill my intention. It can be hugely frustrating. At this point I chuck out the whole paragraph and start again. From another source or POV.

Some writers like the reader to draw their own conclusions always, others spoon feed the whole way, and occasionally an author combines the two with great effect, denying the spoon feed at just the right time!

If characters only ever communicate on the page when they are moved to be verbal you have to hope the reader has a wild imagination! Lack of imagination does not equal stupidity. And in any case, you write to your own perceived audience.

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I think as writers our first thought is to rely on facial expressions, but usually the most powerful ways to show emotion lies in not what our faces say, but in what we do.

This isn't to say that facial expressions are necessarily bad, because they often communicate exactly what we want to show. The reader recognizes certain expressions immediately and what they mean. But with recognition comes familiarity, and leads to overuse. Because it can be an easy way out, we cease to think beyond the face and forget about what the rest of the body is doing.

If it helps, check out the entries in the Emotion Thesaurus in my link. It's not an end-all, be-all of describing emotion, but it's a good place to start brainstorming if you want to show an emotion or mood in a fresher way.

Sometimes you don't need to write the expression. If it's in your head, it may well show in the writing. Think how connected your readers will be with the characters, and what they'll be seeing when a certain line of dialogue is delivered.

I'm reading Imperial Bedrooms by Bret Easton Ellis, and some of the details I'm getting from his simple prose is quite amazing. Sometimes it's the stuff you don't say that catches the reader.

I rarely use facial expressions, but use a lot of physical reactive body movements and verbal revelations.

I tend to overuse facial expressions -- trying to get better at incorporating full-body cues. I need to "zoom out" a little in my writing.

This isn't easy, is it?

My MC is an eye roller. Hardly aware she does it. She gets called on it by a guy she hates but whose approval she desires. That makes her feel like a fool. Afterward, she's constantly trying not to roll her eyes.

Another MC, an edgy type with a whole lot to be edgy about, does an awful lot of jaw clenching. He may not have any teeth left by the end of the book.

You can get some mileage out of mouths pressed into thin, bloodless lines, or furrows in foreheads, but at some point you run out of expressions.

Go to hand gestures and other body language if your tags are getting repetitive. People lean in, they cross their arms, they point, they poke. They loom in your personal space or shrink away from you.

And you really don't need that many of these. The dialog may be sufficient, and you can just use a said tag, or nothing at all.

I made a list of 100-200 gestures and facial expressions. When a draft is finished I add 40+ things from the list.

This is a challenge for me too. One resource I've found that has been helpful in things up is a blog called The Bookshelf Muse Emotion Thesaurus. I've enclosed the link for showing relief but if you scroll down, there are pages for showing anger, amusement, guilt, etc. There is a mix of facial expressions and body language to do show, not tell. Hope that it can help you.

http://thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com/2008/01/relief.html

I have to watch the brow furrowing. One character is a bit easier, as she smokes. So I have her wave a cigarette around like a laser pointer (the room is dark), or light another from the butt of the first, or whatever. In one stressful scene, she forgets her cigarette till it goes out, and then can't snick more than sparks from the lighter. Nice moment. I should give them all props. (I try to watch it and show how her chainsmoking in an enclosed space like that would affect everyone else.)

One of my favorite writers cracks me up sometimes, as his characters are always drinking. In one book, three of them are driving cross-country and keep snagging beer cans out of a cooler. Constant state of low-level inebriation that reminds me of our next-door neighbor.

ebennet68, thanks for mentioning The Bookshelf Muse. I'm glad the Emotion Thesaurus helps you!

All the best,

Angela

Thank you all; it was so well worth spending the time reading these comments. I struggle with this all the time--he smiled; she shrugged, etc--and the advice here was helpful and practical.

Facial expression is something you need to know how to do.

Open a file called, 'facial expressions'.
(It goes with your files labeled 'walking across a room', 'turning around', 'seeing stuff', 'large body movements', 'making love', and the ever-popular 'tagging dialog'.)

Go to the great stylists. Put examples into the file.
You will never do the same thing, but while you are looking through that file, your mind will expand.

Fr'instance,

Turkey registered surprise
Bullo showed his teeth
A smile winked in Turkey Mat's beard
The gypsy brooded.
A man passing with a bonnetful of eggs jerked his head across the broken yard and grinned, showing two sets of bereaved gums.
The stranger flushed.
the boy directed one haughty grimace at the Master


(All these are from Dunnett's Game of Kings. She is magnificent. Try Gabaldon and Faulkner as well.)

What the great stylists show us is not new words to say, 'he raised his eyebrow'. They show us how to weave the description of your people into the ongoing action.

Check your dialogue sequences. If the facial expressions dominate the action beats, you may be wading into the quagmire of talking heads syndrome. Ask yourself what the rest of their bodies are doing during the conversation. Two ways to get around a large number of facial expressions include what has been mentioned--concentrate on your use of dialogue to show the reader the emotion of the speaker without relying on facial twitches and contortions. This kind of dialogue most often will seem more "alive" to the reader anyway. Second, have the characters do something while they talk. If you integrate the dialogue into some directed actions (which can be used to add characterization, set the tone of the scene, or advance the story aspects of the scene), you can rely on changes in the directed action to help reveal the emotion behind the spoken words. For example, if the action is something as mundane as watering houseplants, you can have the character show surprise by spilling the water, by dropping the watering can, or by just stopping in mid-sprinkle. No facial expressions are needed, and it involves the character's entire body in the conversation.

Keep in mind some professional evaluators may view overuse of facial expressions as a mark of an amateur writer. More important, it can make the characters seem two-dimensional or too much like cardboard cut-outs if they just stand there twitching their faces while they talk.

job said:

Turkey registered surprise
Bullo showed his teeth
A smile winked in Turkey Mat's beard
The gypsy brooded.
A man passing with a bonnetful of eggs jerked his head across the broken yard and grinned, showing two sets of bereaved gums.
The stranger flushed.
the boy directed one haughty grimace at the Master

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All good, except for 'a smile winked in Turkey Mat's beard', which is a little . . . well. Hm.

As for masterful dialog and the amount of description to use . . .

Jack Vance said:

The door opened, and the girl looked forth, smiling. "What now?"

Liane entered the hut and lunged for the girl, but twenty thin shafts darted out, twenty points pricking his chest. He halted, eyebrows raised, mouth twitching.

"Down, steel," said Lith. The blades snapped from view. "So easily could I seek your vitality," said Lith, "had I willed."

Liane frowned and rubbed his chin as if pondering. "You understand," he said earnestly, "what a witless thing you do. Liane is feared by those who fear fear, loved by those who love love. And you—" his eyes swam the golden glory of her body—"you are ripe as a sweet fruit, you are eager, you glisten and tremble with love. You please Liane, and he will spend much warmness on you."

"No, no," said Lith, with a slow smile. "You are too hasty."

Liane looked at her in surprise. "Indeed?"

"I am Lith," said she. "I am what you say I am. I ferment, I burn, I seethe. Yet I may have no lover but him who has served me. He must be brave, swift, cunning."

"I am he," said Liane. He chewed his lip. "It is not usually thus. I detest this indecision." He took a step forward. "Come, let us—"

She backed away. "No, no. You forget. How have you served me, how have you gained the right to my love?"

"Absurdity!" stormed Liane. "Look at me! Note my perfect grace, the beauty of my form and feature, my great eyes, as golden as your own, my manifest will and power . . . It is you who should serve me. That is how I will have it." He sank upon a low divan. "Woman, give me wine."

She shook her head. "In my small domed hut I cannot be forced. Perhaps outside on Thamber Meadow—but in here, among my blue and red tassels, with twenty blades of steel at my call, you must obey me . . . So choose. Either arise and go, never to return, or else agree to serve me on one small mission, and then have me and all my ardor."

Liane sat straight and stiff. An odd creature, the golden witch. But, indeed, she was worth some exertion, and he would make her pay for her impudence.

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Perfect balance in my opinion. I wish I could write like this.