Post the first 3 sentences of your WIP!

From Red Wedding:

The storm blustered in like a drunken uncle, hovered like an in-law, and dropped nine inches of rain on Turtle Island before Zoey could say "I do."

She stood with Peter at the altar, wearing her traveling clothes, light cotton and old denim still damp from the dash between her rental car and the lodge. Zoey's hair was nearly dry, but her socks and panties clung to her like desperate ex-boyfriends....

Miller adjusted his croch as he sat at the registration table and watched a buxom blond walk in. Letting out a low whistle, he nudged Hayden with his elbow. "I'll take care of this one."
Hayden glanced briefly at the blond then at his drooling, oversexed partner. The torrid thoughts rolling about in that head of his were clearly visible in the big man's eyes. No doubt Miller was already planning on sliding...

This isn't my WIP..it's just a short story I wrote...heres the first little paragraph...
Adam could sense the daylight. He felt it, smelt it, nevertheless he hide from it.
He tried to drift back into unconscious; inviting all thoughts, anything to keep him from exploring the day; letting his curiosity get the better of him. He knew that once he began to stray from his safe haven, he would face immediate danger, for she was out there. He knew she would come for him even in his shelter, it couldn’t stop her – nothing could stop her. He heard footsteps.

First three

Here's the first three sentences of my current, and most loved, WIP. (OK it's actually four, but the last one was a single sentence until I reread it a few times. Sorry!)

Elizabeth Wiley awoke suddenly from a dark, foreboding dream she could not remember. The vibration of the road traveling through the floor of her father's SUV and the stiffness of the passenger seat caused her to long for the comfort of her soft mattress and down filled pillow. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, adjusted her spectacles, and gazed out the window. The first fingers of sunlight crept over the mountains to the east and flooded into the valley below like a bright, golden ocean wave.

First 3 sentences of post-apocalyptic novel

Here it is. Let me know what y'all think.

"The alarm began as a low wail and rose, spreading out across the forest to the edge of the mountains. Birds flew out of tree boughs and cut across the sky, catching the moonlight and disappearing into the black expanse. The alarm had once been used to warn about air raids and bombs, or an outbreak of war. The young woman never thought it would be used for her."

My first three sentences (the story is contemporary YA):

My sister June Green died on a Thursday, exactly nine days before her high school graduation. I remembered because on the afternoon of her wake, I stood in the kitchen, looking at the puppy-of-the-month calendar hanging next to the phone. May’s breed was the Golden Retriever— pictured was a whole litter of them, nestled side-by-side in a red wagon amid a blooming spring garden.

Click to expand...

From Untitled:

"I'm going to write a novel." She left the newspaper, whose Culture section she had been leafing through, on the table, right next to the crumpled Fashion section.

"About what?"

Click to expand...

Note: this is a Spanish to English translation of the original text. I apologize for any grammar mistakes that could have ocurred during the translation.

From the aptly named Lady Serra

She was a dark and stormy knight, with lightning in her hair and thunder in her voice. She rode a black horse, and carried a big sword with terrifying ease. Out of all the knights the King could have sent to their village, the King'd sent Lady Serra.

Click to expand...

Still very rough, I know.

First three??

I like this game. I think my first chapter is good but I'm not sure that the first three sentences really say much... help?

A group of us, completely comfortable in each other's presence, sit out on the deck of a restaurant drinking beer. The laughter spills over, infectious to everyone within listening distance. The afternoon sun warms us, reminding all, that summer is right around the corner.

Beingwrite said:

I like this game. I think my first chapter is good but I'm not sure that the first three sentences really say much... help?

A group of us, completely comfortable in each other's presence, sit out on the deck of a restaurant drinking beer. The laughter spills over, infectious to everyone within listening distance. The afternoon sun warms us, reminding all, that summer is right around the corner.

You can read the whole first chapter on my blog. I just posted it hoping for critiques. http://beingwrite.blogspot.com/​

Click to expand...

I would change 'a group of us' to 'we' and 'the laughter' to 'our' laughter - it makes it more immediate.

William wasn't like the other kids at DuPont Middle School. He was bullied every day, even by the smaller kids. But William smiled through every taunt, and every punch, because he had a secret that would soon change everything... permanently.

This thread is very cool, and I'm so impressed and loved reading everyone's openings.

Mine below is four sentences, since the last sentence completes the paragraph.

I have trouble sharing my work (makes me laugh some days, because hiding it all in a trunk is pointless, isn't it?) and this is the perfect place to start to wrench the pages from my hands. I can handle three (I mean, four) sentences. : ) Baby steps.

~~~~~~~~

People use the expression “it’s all rainbows and butterflies” to depict life at its kindest and brightest, but I know the best rainbows only appear after the darkest, most violent storms. It’s a matter of fact that rainbows are more vivid in a steel gray sky. Some of the best I’ve ever seen held reign over storm-ravaged, flooded land, their beauty in stark contrast to the water-darkened limbs yanked from trees and the wind-whipped wreckage scattered everywhere. Even with tiny speckled eggs lying shattered on the ground, tumbling embryos instead of baby birds, there’s that rainbow shouting “Look at me!” and you look. We all do.

~~~~~~~~

Em
(post modified to remove formatting instructions)

(In English, it was in Finnish first but I translate for your sake!! I know there is some grammal errors)

Five moonelves were carrying sixth moonelven who was unconscius, down the crystal strairs yet deeper into darkness. Hints of light was given by few candles, that were almost burned off, on the wall. The group of five moonelves had self-confident and victorious expression on their face.

PG-35

Got WIP's out the kudzu.


Billy enjoyed summers on his grandfather’s farm. His grandfather taught him to fish, and to shoot a gun, and to sail a small boat in the lake beside the farm. But most of all Billy liked to visit his grandfather’s farm because his grandfather let him have sex with his robots.

PG-25, with puns

It was a dark and stormy night. Bedtime had come at last, ending a strange day at the house of the Three Bears. First there had been the business of Baby Bear’s missing breakfast porridge, then Poppa Bear had spent the entire morning repairing Baby Bear’s chair.

Ok, I'm starting from a different place in my book now so this is my new first chapter first 3 sentences. I probably still need to work it a bit, but whatcha think?

"In all the artifacts Lusa had been sent by the king of Lizards to retrieve, this one was the most magnificent yet. So far the journey had been easy . . . too easy. And unless her eyes were playing tricks on her, she was sure she saw someone else's shadow in one of the passageways. "

So new to this thread. My first post actually. But I've been watching these posts for a few days and I'm anxious to join in the fun. Here goes:

The divorce papers were inked before the nuptials. Before the bride donned the Fiorio gown, before the bride’s father filled his flask with twenty-year old Scotch, before the groom’s cousin swore at the caterer that the bacon was supposed to be wrapped around scallops – not figs. The weather turned out to be perfect for the outdoor wedding, though good things go unnoticed.

/Smiles and hello's to all . . .

I love everyone's opening paragraphs! Mine feels lame in comparison, but I guess that's why it's a WIP.

---------------------------

"Fermez les yeux, s'il vous plaît."

As the eyelids of Monsieur Grégoire Moreau drooped to a close, Corbin took one giant stride to center stage and snapped to attention in front of his audience. He looked around the theatre, relishing the sight of distinguished men chewing their lips and women furiously displacing the moist air with their fans. Another night, another show, another audience - and, as the Parisian papers would report a week later, another unfortunate victim.

One Fell Swoop, yours isn't even in the same ballpark as "lame". I think it's great. But I get what you mean.

I know (for me) after revisions, it can be hard to keep a clear, bird's eye view when it comes to the quality of ones own work.

Em

These all are so enjoyable! Here are mine from my current two WIPs.

WIP #1

Morning dawned and sunlight filled the glow orbs, casting a second sunrise in the underground Faery mound. Though bright, the light down there would never match that of the brilliant Mother sun. Even so, shadows parted to reveal an entire secretive civilization.

WIP #2

From the immense castle she'd called home; she ran. Lily scampered through the dense brush as if her life depended on it. And once her father, Arkadios, realized her absence, it very well may.

CBumpkin said:

William wasn't like the other kids at DuPont Middle School. He was bullied every day, even by the smaller kids. But William smiled through every taunt, and every punch, because he had a secret that would soon change everything... permanently.

Click to expand...

OOh, way to hook a reader! I'm intrigued already! Are you going to post any of this in show your work? I want to know what he has in mind.

Here's my WIP for the day:

Raindrops splattered against the window, and in the distance Susan could hear the sound of thunder. She turned away from the kitchen window and tapped her teacup nervously with her hand. It was tough to work up the courage to go into the next room, but it was something Susan did everyday.

Here's the sequel to my current WIP's starting.

Quant padded downstairs to get some cookies...and the instant she saw Dad, she knew something was wrong. He sat at the kitchen table in his dress suit and held a small plastic card that read “Hotel Holten.” The card fell from his fingers and he stared off into the distance, like someone had scooped out his brains and left nothing behind but...darkness.

Click to expand...

The screeching whine of metal on metal mingled with the screams of the commuters on the subway platform in a sickening harmony that made him smile. He did not wait to see the looks of horror, or to see the damage done. Instead he headed for the street, lightheartedly bounding up the concrete stairs of the terminal, taking them two at a time.