Memoirs and Autobios: Under what circumstances do you change the names?

Siri Kirpal

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If you've got a disclaimer saying the names and identifying details have been changed, I think you're okay.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal
 

johnrobison

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Any time you change names of non-protected people in a nonfiction work you risk undermining the book's credibility.

Protected people would be children and teenagers, people who engaged you in private in ways that would open you to invasion of privacy claims, people you accuse of crimes when they have not been convicted, etc.

In my opinion, most people should be presented by real name. That's what I do. I try to write things that people will be proud to see, and not things I'd be afraid for them to see.
 

Siri Kirpal

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Gail is writing (has written) about children. Also, if you can't get hold of a person and get their permission, you're on shaky legal ground to use the real name, unless the person is in a public job (school teacher, for instance). In these cases, changed names and disclaimers are better than running the risk of lawsuits.

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Siri Kirpal
 

keston925

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I changed some of the names, but not locations (and added a disclaimer in the front of the book) because

1) I don't want to be sued and some other parties may not like what I wrote, even though I dictated their texts and emails verbatim

2) I don't want to hurt anyone

BUT, I did also tell them in writing what I was doing. So far - no objections.
 

DNsearching

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Still timid

If you are worried about confrontation from close friends and family members, create a fictitious name.
One of the first rules for reporters is that you don't let your subjects see the article before publishing. They will almost always object to something and end up arguing, which is a real downer to a writer.
 

Jamesaritchie

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Just use the real names. Changing a person's name does not protect you in any way, shape, or form. If you;re going to say someting unfavorable about them, they wouldn't give you permission to use their names, anyway.

It's YOUR life, and you're perfectly free to write all about it, including all about any real people you have encountered in YOUR life. Do people who write memoirs and autobiographies not read ones others have written?
 

paqart

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Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

That's what I did: if I couldn't contact them, I changed the names. The exception was for teachers, because teachers are public figures and anyone who had been there would know the names were wrong.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

What about famous people whose private behavior isn't well-known? I am slowly being persuaded that I should write a memoir about some events from my childhood.
One of the story threads involves a man my mother was engaged to marry. He was then and remains a well-respected and wealthy inventor who created a couple dozen inventions that are critical to the manufacture of computers.
This man also tried to kill my mother, and then when she left him, raped all of my sister's stuffed animals before sending them back to us to satisfy a court order. We also discovered that he'd modified most of the electronic devices like the toaster, radio, and other things so that they behaved strangely (pulling the lever of the toaster turned on the radio that was embedded inside).
I would love to use this guy's name, but have decided for the time being to use an alias for him and every company he is connected to (all of which are easily-recognized names). If I do that for him, would I also have to do it for everyone else? Also, wouldn't using the real name make it more interesting?

I have pretty much made up my mind on this, but wouldn't be surprised if I'm not the only person with this question. As far as the evil inventor is concerned, the details I would mention are all part of a court record made at the time, but I don't have access to it. I lived through it and can describe what I saw and heard, but have no way of checking whether those bits correspond to the record of the case. I assume they do because my mother was careful to include all these things in the record (and the guy in question was fired from one major university when they heard of it). How much of "my" story is mine in situations like this?

Best regards,

AP
 

Siri Kirpal

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Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

In that case, paqart, I wouldn't give the guy a name; I'd refer to him as my mother's ex-fiancé, etc., and avoid mentioning the company.

You do need to protect yourself (and possibly other members of your family) on this one. The guy's violent. You also don't have access to those records.

I agree it would be a better book if you could use the name...but...

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal