Favorite lines you've written

Nadir just popped his brandnew virgin girlfriend and only remembered afterwards that she's a good Christian girl who still lives with her parents. So as he's looking at the mess in his ex-wife's bed, he's thinking to himself:

Naughty Nadir and the Loony Lynchmob, episode two!



....he's had a lynch mob on him before, see.

kkbe said:

Popped in to peruse this thread and was summarily bitten by the sharing bug.

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guttersquid said:

Thinking Albert stole $500,000, Solano sent two guys to kill him. They failed, fatally. Now Albert is on a payphone by a two-lane highway, talking to his boss, Vincent Bass.

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I think you two are the Rock n' Roll of dialogue; kkbe is the drums and guttersquid is the rhythm guitar.

Keep the beat going guys!

That night, Dean left and did not come back. After I'd figured out that I truly loved him. After I'd finally appreciated him, he’d decided to begin his eternal slumber. He’d finally decided to die.

Dean always was kind of an idiot.

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From my SFF story swap.

guttersquid said:

Thinking Albert stole $500,000, Solano sent two guys to kill him. They failed, fatally. Now Albert is on a payphone by a two-lane highway, talking to his boss, Vincent Bass.
----

“Okay, I’m gonna lay it out straight,” Vincent said, and now Albert could imagine him leaning forward, elbows on the desk. “I know you didn’t take the money—money never meant nothin to you—but my opinion don’t mean shit. Solano wants you dead. He wants that now more than he wants the money, feeling the need to set an example, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Yours ain’t the only ass on the line here, Albert. I arranged the deal. I stand up for you on this, he’s gonna think I’m involved. You gettin my point?”

“Yes.”

“You got any money?”

“Not much.”

“Shit, I guess I shoulda paid you better,” Vincent said. “Don’t matter anyways. Most guys, I’d tell ’em to empty their bank account and get the fuck outta Dodge, but you . . . hell, where you gonna go? All I know is don’t come back here.”

Albert waited for a big-rig to pass on the two-lane, its tires spraying water, and then said, “If Solano is gone do I still have a problem?”

“Yeah,” Vincent said, and now Albert heard regret. “You kill Solano, it don’t stop there. That’s a ball of shit don’t stop rollin once you give it a shove, and it only rolls downhill. And guess where I’m livin.”

Bottom of the hill. Albert had heard it maybe a hundred times. It was one of Vincent’s favorite sayings, had been since he and Albert had heard Vincent’s father say it when they were boys.

“Sorry, Albert,” Vincent said, and Albert knew he meant it. “You need to find a way to disappear.”

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This is damn cool dialogue. Love it.

PandaMan: I think you two are the Rock n' Roll of dialogue;

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Thank you, PandaMan. You put me in damn fine company.

From CHERRY *mature* (eek):

I told him I was going to do it, remember? “You die, I die.” I said it with conviction in the heat of the moment, but I said a lot of things that day, most of which were ridiculously ridiculous. Case in point? I told Steve I wanted to adopt him. What the hell was I, insane? What was I going to do: adopt the kid, fuck him, kiss him goodnight and tuck him into bed?

“That’s some sick shit, Dave,” says Mr. Henley.

Yep.

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kkbe said:

I told him I was going to do it, remember? “You die, I die.” I said it with conviction in the heat of the moment, but I said a lot of things that day, most of which were ridiculously ridiculous. Case in point? I told Steve I wanted to adopt him. What the hell was I, insane? What was I going to do: adopt the kid, fuck him, kiss him goodnight and tuck him into bed?

“That’s some sick shit, Dave,” says Mr. Henley.

Yep.

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I'm not fully awake yet, and I just snorfled my coffee. My three-year-old wants to know what the joke is.

http://absolutewrite.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

Katharine Tree said:

I'm not fully awake yet, and I just snorfled my coffee. My three-year-old wants to know what the joke is.

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Don't tell your kid!!!!!!!!!!! EEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Actually, I went back to delete that and saw your post. Thank you, btw. Then I almost put a red ETA in there, something like, BTW, the 'kid' is 18, I swear. Then I thought, screw it, maybe nobody will read it. Then I thought about deleting it real fast and posting something in its stead, something kinder and gentler like, maybe. . .

Steve said, “Hey Cheryl, do you know Mr. Bee’s writing a book about Elmo?”

“Who?”

“Elmore Leonard,” I piped up. “Steve calls him Elmo.”

“Why am I not surprised,” she said. She turned back to Steve. “Dave told me about that.”

“I know. Cool, right? Like Chili Palmer,” Steve said.

I think he surprised her that time. “You know about Chili Palmer, Steve?”

“Heck yeah, I know about Chili Palmer. Why, do you know about Chili Palmer?”

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. . .but then I thought, no, kk. Don't be bogarting this thread, missy.

kkbe said:

Then I thought about deleting it real fast and posting something in its stead, something kinder and gentler

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"What people are ashamed of generally makes a good story." --F Scott Fitzgerald. It was my favorite snippet from you yet. You're not in left field, either. Not far from where I live is a large estate built by an early-20th-century something-or-other baron. He lived in it with his gay lover, and upon reaching old age, adopted the lover so the lover would inherit the estate.

I like this latest one, but I'm not cool enough to know who Chili Palmer is. I know who Harry Palmer is, does that count?

Katharine Tree said:

I like this latest one, but I'm not cool enough to know who Chili Palmer is. I know who Harry Palmer is, does that count?

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Well, at least you know who Elmore Leonard is, so you're ahead of me

Kallithrix said:

Well, at least you know who Elmore Leonard is, so you're ahead of me

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He's that guy who tells me not to everything I want to do, when I write.

And I think he wrote Get Shorty.
http://absolutewrite.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

kkbe said:

. . .but then I thought, no, kk. Don't be bogarting this thread, missy.

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kk, as far as I'm concerned, you can bogart this thread all you want.

Katharine Tree said:

He's that guy who tells me not to everything I want to do, when I write.

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Oh, maybe that's why the name looked familiar - he's that dude with the rules everyone keeps going on about, int he? Meh. Ignore em. They's more like guidelines anyway...

Thank you, PandaMan and Phantasy.

But, PandaMan, if I like to fish, can I be the bass player?

Hey guys, thank you for saying that nice stuff. It makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.



Carry on, maestros.

I'll play. Just wrote this in the thing that I'm writing. Don't mind the grammar right now, still learning.

My mother left us under unusual circumstances.

‘Left us.’ Dad doesn't like me to use the word ‘died’. He thinks that because I wasn't old enough to understand what death meant at the time then I shouldn't say it. Weird, I know, but dad’s always been a little odd in the socks. I guess that’s why he and mum hit it off so well. I swear he still likes to pretend that she's just popped out to the fields to grab a cabbage or something. The problem is; everyone knows how Dini Kitson died. It was the talk of the village for weeks, years, people are still talking about it today:

‘Oh, it was so romantic. Dini ran through the Cedar Streets, screaming hysterically- Peter! Peter!- her own blood oozing from her like a busted piñata. She hurtled into her husband’s arms, both of them sinking to the ground in a pool of their sobs and her gore. He could do nothing to save her. He planted one final, snotty kiss on her forehead, and watched her die on his knees; their two year old daughter staring out of her bedroom window. And, you know what the strangest thing is? Her husband isn't even called Peter. Imagine that! Now isn't that odd?’

Did it happen that way? I have no idea, I was two.

The gossip didn’t start for a whole day, which apparently is the appropriate length of time to mourn someone before people start sticking their noses in around here.

How did Dini die? What was she in to? Who was this Peter fellow? Did he have something to do with it?

The only two Peters in the village at the time were a three year old boy and an elderly gentlemen who suddenly found himself inundated with thoughtful neighbours who, ‘Just popped round to see how you're doin', love.’

He hadn't even known my mother.

Laiceps said:

I'll play. Just wrote this in the thing that I'm writing. Don't mind the grammar right now, still learning.

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This is really compelling (like if you're rolling downhill and can't stop!), with a finely distinctive voice.

All sorts of good stuff on the page today! All of ya!!

guttersquid said:

Thank you, PandaMan and Phantasy.

But, PandaMan, if I like to fish, can I be the bass player?

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Okay, but only if you don't play crappie.

A conversation overheard by my MC:

“...the son discovered his body slouched over a bowl of chickpea soup. It’s said that the dagger in his chest dripped white blood instead of red.”
“How can you be certain it was chickpea?”
“Even if the soup had been fennel, how would that take-away from the fact that the emperor was murdered?”

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PandaMan said:

Okay, but only if you don't play crappie.

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Can't promise that, but I do know all my scales.

Some great entries in here over the last few days. I dunno what 'bogarting' means (I assume something to do with those creatures in Harry Potter that take on the form of your worst fears? yes, considering kkbe's posts, I'm sure that's it ) but I hope I've taken enough of a break now to avoid the charge

This is from the scene I've been tinkering with off and on for a while now - I'd written it ahead, and now I've just caught up with it, so it's changed a bit.

One of the main changes is that the evidence she gives Djeh is now a scytale - that is, an encrypted message written on a long, thin piece of leather or papyrus, that has to be wrapped around a cylinder of the correct thickness to be read. I know this was attributed to the Greeks in the 7th Cent BC, but... Bak's a smart cookie, and so is Djeh. I'm sure they could have come up with the concept 500 years earlier

“The bastard beat you, didn’t he.” He could tell from the evasive tilt of her head that he was right. “I’ll fucking kill him!” he said through teeth clenched with rage, but he was more angry with himself. “I should never have sent you there.... Oh gods, Hebeny, that’s twice you’ve suffered for my lapse in judgement, my lack of care.”

She took one of his clenched fists and prised it open, forced her little hand into his. “You did what you thought for the best. We both knew what could happen.”

“I tried to convince myself he wouldn’t touch you, to ease my guilt, so I wouldn’t have to think about it. Just the thought of him putting his hands on you...”

“He never touched me in that way, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she assured him. “But a man like him inspires no love or loyalty. His slaves only obey him through fear of the whip. I think he even took it with him when he went to talk to the general...” She trailed off, frowning in thought. Then her face lit up with sudden revelation. “Djehuty, I know what the decoder is!”

Djehuty was still trying to dispel the image of Bakwerel beating her. “What?”

“Bakwerel’s whip! It has a thick handle, with a ball on the end that has a notch in it.”

He blinked, trying not to think about how Hebeny had become so well acquainted with that object. He could picture it fairly well himself. Bakwerel was never without it, even when on foot or at a banquet. Now it made perfect sense why.

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Oh, Hebeny's a smart cookie too

Kallithrix said:

Some great entries in here over the last few days. I dunno what 'bogarting' means

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It means this thread is smokin'!!

Kallithrix said:

One of the main changes is that the evidence she gives Djeh is now a scytale - that is, an encrypted message written on a long, thin piece of leather or papyrus, that has to be wrapped around a cylinder of the correct thickness to be read. I know this was attributed to the Greeks in the 7th Cent BC, but... Bak's a smart cookie, and so is Djeh. I'm sure they could have come up with the concept 500 years earlier

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Oooh, neat. Love the light bulbs going on here!

It's been pointed out that practically the next thing invented after writing was cryptography. So yeah, I'd be right surprised if the Egyptians hadn't already figured out some method.

Reziac said:

Oooh, neat. Love the light bulbs going on here!

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Oil lamps, please!

And inspired guess as it might have been... she guessed wrong

"With our fingers entwined, I didn’t think it mattered what we did, so long as we were touching. In fact, I started to realize what was so fascinating about the fish. From the surface, it was dark and blurry from the ripples, making it harder to tell what sort of fish it was. But under the surface, in its world, it was living without fear of the two humans lurking above--it existed independently of its surroundings.

Now, that fish reminds me of how we spent our following years together. To everyone else, it must have seemed ridiculous. But to us, under the surface, moving together, we couldn’t care less about what might be lurking above."

Reziac said:

It's been pointed out that practically the next thing invented after writing was cryptography.

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And the next thing invented was steganography!

Which had nothing to do with stegosaurus. Stegosauruses. Stegosauri. Saurii.
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Kallithrix: I dunno what 'bogarting' means (I assume something to do with those creatures in Harry Potter that take on the form of your worst fears? yes, considering kkbe's posts, I'm sure that's it )

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My dear Kallithrix, back in the day, when "somebody I know" used to "partake," as they say. . .



Urban Dictionary includes this description:

Bogarting
In the late 70s, early 80s, "Bogarting" was to take an extra toke off a joint that was being passed around. This usually occurred when three or more people would "Partake" and the person(s), in the middle (the passer), would "Bogart" a hit.


Hence, my comment relative to not wanting to "bogart" this thread. You're welcome, Kalli.