Dialogue Question

Whimsical Writing

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Hi Everyone,

Could you please tell me which one is correct for use with dialogue?

"Don't say that," she said, quietly.

or

"Don't say that," she said quietly.

I've noticed that I'm inconsistent with this in my writing because I war with myself over this.

Thanks so much!
 

T Robinson

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I would probably go with the second, unless you are trying to create some special effect. Use the "read out loud" test. You are replicating a conversation on paper, so that is the ultimate test. Does it sound natural to the reader/listener. YMMV
 

Jack McManus

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This looks like one of those "Oxford comma" situations -- that is to say, it may boil down to a style choice where both are correct.

Perhaps a better solution would be rework the exchange to establish a quiet tone and eliminate the adverb.

My two cents, spend or discard as you see fit.
 

blacbird

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Agree with smoothop. Ditch the adverb, and you eliminate the problem. Adverbs appended to dialogue attributions are often superfluous, or often should be.

caw
 

Night_Writer

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Hi Everyone,

Could you please tell me which one is correct for use with dialogue?

"Don't say that," she said, quietly.

or

"Don't say that," she said quietly.

I believe the second is correct. I never see commas appear just before adverbs normally.

He ran quickly.
He ate heartily.
She spent wisely.
He laughed nervously.
It inflated rapidly and then exploded.

Would you use a comma in any of these examples? Neither would I.

So based on that, I'd say "she said quietly." With no comma.
 

BethS

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Hi Everyone,

Could you please tell me which one is correct for use with dialogue?

"Don't say that," she said, quietly.

or

"Don't say that," she said quietly.

In the majority of cases, you wouldn't need a comma there, unless you have a good reason to emphasize the adverb. Reserve the comma for very special situations, and otherwise don't use it. Also, make sure the adverb itself is necessary.
 
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King Neptune

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There probably should not be a comma there, because "quietly" modifies "said", so you don't want to separate them.
 

threetoedsloth

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Hi Everyone,

Could you please tell me which one is correct for use with dialogue?

"Don't say that," she said, quietly.

or

"Don't say that," she said quietly.

I've noticed that I'm inconsistent with this in my writing because I war with myself over this.

Thanks so much!

Neither.

"Don't say that," she whispered. ;)

The second one is the better of the two, I agree.
 

Jerboa

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I'd go for something different again, maybe: "Don't do that," she said, her voice soft.

But it depends on context and what feel you want to get over. No comma, if you go for 'quietly'.
 

Bufty

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No comma, and in proper context nobody reading that original dialogue will bat an eyelid at the adverb or wonder just how 'quietly' it was said because the individual reader will put whatever degree he wants on it to fit his understanding of the circumstances.
 

yosoya

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I think both are acceptable, and it comes down to stylistic choice. If you're not trying to unduly emphasize the 'quietly', then don't use the comma. No one will notice. In my opinion, adding the comma creates a little pause in the reading, which puts stronger emphasis on the 'quietly'.
 

Becca_H

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Another vote for the second, but some of the alternatives suggested above would be better.
 

Bufty

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Forgive me, but what possible grounds are there for stating 'some of the alternatives suggested above would be better' when all there is to go on is an isolated bit of dialogue consisting of three words and a three word tag?

Another vote for the second, but some of the alternatives suggested above would be better.
 

Becca_H

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Forgive me, but what possible grounds are there for stating 'some of the alternatives suggested above would be better' when all there is to go on is an isolated bit of dialogue consisting of three words and a three word tag?

"She whispered" and "She said, her voice soft" beat the -ly adverb usage for me. Of course, variation doesn't hurt.
 

blacbird

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After I denigrated the use of the adverb, which I did because that construction is soooo common, this occurred to me:

If you really do want to emphasize the mood:

"Don't say that," she said.

Quietly.


caw
 

angeliz2k

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"She whispered" and "She said, her voice soft" beat the -ly adverb usage for me. Of course, variation doesn't hurt.

There's no need to avoid -ly words (or adverbs generally). You're only going to tie yourself in knots trying to find other ways to say it when there's nothing wrong with -ly words in the first place. As was mentioned, "whispered" isn't the same as "said quietly", and using "she said, her voice soft" is just a wordier version of "said quietly".

Then again, if you personally don't like -ly, then fine, that's part of your style. Like passive voice, it has it's place and should not be avoided at all costs.