I have three dogs. My chihuahua/rat terrier mix (13) sleeps in the bed with me and the cat. My deaf border/aussie mix sleeps on a dog bed on the floor of my room. My young border mix sleeps in a crate in the living room. Would generally discourage having dogs sleep on the bed except the smaller toy breeds, as they toss and turn just as much as most people
A dog bed on the floor for a medium-large breed is quite comfy.
For transitioning from crate sleeping to sleeping loose, my general steps are:
1 - has to have a year of proven house manners - not just being "house broken" but also not chewing anything other than toys, behaving with the others, etc
2 - start with leaving loose while napping (if you nap) or for short trips (can just start with leaving loose while walking around the house a few times, things like that) - basically short alone times while lose
3 - once you feel comfortable and confident that they will behave with the unsupervised moments, then can try sleeping in the bedroom - highly recommend this be a Friday or Saturday night
I've followed those three steps for all of my dogs and so far, always successful. My youngest girl, Yuki, is still at step one but she's only a year old
Here's the thing. She won't stay in our room. LAst night she looked sad when I was putting her to bed and so I beckoned for her to come with me, I put a dog bed in the bedroom, had her lay down, then I laid down. She got up and went back to her crate in the kitchen.
I was wondering if I got her another crate or pet carrier for our room if she would stay. I'm wondering if it is the den that she wants.
What do you think? I like having her near us but I also like boundaries, especially when we want to be romantic. Sigh. Still don't know what to do.
Does she tend to shadow you when loose or does she pretty much do her own thing? If she is a shadower, then I'd say going by your first post she just may not be comfortable being in the bedroom yet. Yuki was afraid of my room as a younger pup because it was "forbidden", and even now she just runs in and out quick if she's loose and I go in there. Just the other week, she finally felt okay enough to lay down while I folded laundry. It will likely be another year or two before she's ready for sleeping there, but trying to make sure she will be okay in there when the time comes. You may want to bring her in during the day time and just sit on the floor and give her some loving. Help her realize its okay that she is in there now. If you're comfortable with her free in the house, I'd just leave the bedroom door open a few nights and see if she starts staying in the room herself. If she is a shadower, she will likely have an internal battle over wanting to be with you which will usually win. How trained is she? If she's pretty well trained, you may also try doing some down/stay exercises in the bedroom.
If not, then maybe a second crate could make her feel more comfortable. I remember when I transitioned Blue to having free reign, she didn't even know the dog bed was hers at first, but she stayed in my room to be near me.