How Not to Start a Novel:

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Sargentodiaz

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Four Things to Avoid on Page One

I really had to stop and read this. After all, have I made a similar good in the start of my latest novel? The very first recommendation caused me to go back and check mine out. Here it is:

They had ridden for half a turn of an hour glass in silence. Fernando silently rehearsed what he had to say, uncertain of her response. His necessity to tell her came, not from feelings of his heart, but the obligation incurred by his father many years before. At last, as they turned on the path toward her hacienda, he gathered himself.

“Teresa. I am going to enlist in the cavalry.”

Well? Did I get it or not? Remember, this takes place in 1742, if that helps.

Anyhow, read more of this very good piece @ http://www.thepassivevoice.com/07/2014/how-not-to-start-a-novel-four-things-to-avoid-on-page-one/
 

Little Ming

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They had ridden for half a turn of an hour glass in silence. Fernando silently rehearsed what he had to say, uncertain of her response. His necessity to tell her came, not from feelings of his heart, but the obligation incurred by his father many years before. At last, as they turned on the path toward her hacienda, he gathered himself.

“Teresa. I am going to enlist in the cavalry.”
 

Roxxsmom

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I don't know. Context is everything. Some readers like a sentence or two of narrative before they jump right into the dialog.

I can see the red pens now if you start with the spoken sentence. Who is speaking? Who is Teresa. What time period? What country? Where are they?
 

Sage

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The editor I'm working with now on a novel sure prefers description at the start of each scene.

But I'm going to take this time to point out that there are all sorts of places on AW to get crits on openings.
 

BethS

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We have a thread in this section where you can get your first three sentences critiqued.

Re the article -- it looks like good, common-sense advice.
 
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Kylabelle

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I know I've encountered the phrase "turn of the glass" or "a half turn of the glass" in historical fiction before, as a way to reference time, so I don't read that as implying that people carried hourglasses around with them.

And I've not read the article referenced, and I do think maybe posting the novel's beginning in one of the critique sections would yield more useful responses. However, speaking purely as a reader, other than a bit of awkward phrasing here and there, I didn't find that snippet to be either boring or offputting but rather that it raised a tiny whiff of curiosity, so, I'd read on.
 

Little Ming

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I don't know. Context is everything. Some readers like a sentence or two of narrative before they jump right into the dialog.

I can see the red pens now if you start with the spoken sentence. Who is speaking? Who is Teresa. What time period? What country? Where are they?

I don't think context is always necessary before dialogue. There are many stories that start with dialogue.

Though I want to point out that the opening paragraph also doesn't address who is speaking, who Teresa is, that time period it is, or what country. ;) And I think it is absolutely not necessary to answer all those questions before getting into the dialogue.

The editor I'm working with now on a novel sure prefers description at the start of each scene.

I don't have a problem with description. I do have a problem with:

"I'm about to do something, and it's going to have consequences. I'm going to do it, but I'm worried about the consequences, but I have to do it. Yes, I'm sure I do. But I'm going to think about it a moment more. Almost there. I'm almost about to do it.

I did it."

I would rather start with the "I did it." YMMV.
 

Evelyn_Alexie

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Starting with dialogue/action: I put up a scene in SYW that starts out with dialogue, and reactions are pretty evenly divided between like/loath. Different readers, different tastes.
That said, I agree with Little Ming's version. Start with the decision, not the deciding.
 

jaksen

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I read a lot but I had to read the first sentence 3X before I figured it out.

And I have no problem with references to hourglasses used as units of time, but please be aware they come in all sizes. Minutes. Half-hours. Hours. And the giant-size like the one the Wicked Witch of the East threw when she was mad at Dorothy.
 

Lady Ice

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Four Things to Avoid on Page One

I really had to stop and read this. After all, have I made a similar good in the start of my latest novel? The very first recommendation caused me to go back and check mine out. Here it is:

They had ridden for half a turn of an hour glass To me, this phrase sounds clumsy. They did have clocks in the 18th century, so to start with such an obviously 'historical' reference would make me think you might continue in this way. in silence. Fernando silently rehearsed what he had to say, uncertain His certainty doesn't matter at this point. All that matters is that he is going to say something important but can't muster up the courage to say it. of her response. His necessity to tell her came not from feelings of his heart, but the obligation incurred What does this mean? Did the father tell him to marry her? by his father many years before. At last, as they turned on the path toward her hacienda, he gathered himself.

“Teresa. I am going to enlist in the cavalry.” This doesn't hook me though it might be fine for fans of the subject matter or period.


I'm not sure how far in you are into writing the novel. Personally I'd finish a draft of the whole novel and then tweak the opening.

The opening should give an essence of this book and your writing style, hence why if something doesn't work, the reader may think this will be a recurring issue in the novel.
 
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