*taps Mike*
Yo, Mike, get a load of this:
Mrs. Haggis was standing in the kitchen, preparing the usual breakfast.
As Haggis pranced in, barely awake, she turned to him and said, 'You've got to gimme nookie this very moment!'
His eyes lit up and he thought, 'Either I'm still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!'
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embrased her and gave it his best effort, right there on the kitchen table.
After he finished and she thanked him, he was happy but a little puzzled. 'What was that all about,' Haggis asked.
Mrs. Haggis explained, 'The egg timer is broken.'