"Moan to Maryn," advice column for the holidays
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I was going to PM rhymegirl, and then thought others might find the info useful also.
I get Solo brand plastic 'paper plates'. If you have Party City in your area they are fairly reasonable and come in a multitude of colors. The 10 1/4 inch size is perfect. I pair these with those rattan tray things you use for paper plates at picnics. The trays provide stability and keep the bottom of the plate from getting too hot. Our family tends to use copious amounts of gravy, on the turkey, on the mashed potatoes, on the stuffing, etc. Paper 'paper plates' get too soggy.
We do use real silverware. I count out just enough to go around, and then count what is in the sink before the garbage goes out. So far (knock on wood) I have never lost a utensil.
MM
mirandashell
Banned
mirandashell
Banned
I've never kicked a puppy or a kitten in my life!
I've kicked a few blokes in my time. And one or two footballs. And I once kicked the dentist in the bollocks but that was accidental and I was only four.
I've kicked a few blokes in my time. And one or two footballs. And I once kicked the dentist in the bollocks but that was accidental and I was only four.
Good lord! I read that as soprano sex and thought - that sounds like a marked improvement on my old 1970's flatmate and his echoing basso grunto (which was, as far as I could tell, an exclusively solo performance...)
mirandashell
Banned
My next door neighbour always had sex to Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.
I hate that fecking song.
I hate that fecking song.
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Especially when Pink Floyd has offered us a really good song for having sex, The Great Gig in the Sky, with the words-free solo by Clare Torry. Hotcha!
Maryn, who prefers not to be numb during sex
Maryn, who prefers not to be numb during sex
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They'll grow in the South, I think.
Now I am off to distribute bunya nuts like Johnny Bunyaseed.
Dear Maryn,
My family keeps telling me I make my smiley faces wrong - as in
as opposed to : ) How do I explain to them that this is my life and my choice and if they want me to make smileys in response to their texts, they must accept it.
Also, my mother says I don't answer her texts properly. She sends me novels in a single text. Sometimes, all I can manage is a which I am then told is backwards.
If this continues, I might start replying to them with ):
Please advise.
Sincerely,
Smiling wrong in NC
My family keeps telling me I make my smiley faces wrong - as in
as opposed to : ) How do I explain to them that this is my life and my choice and if they want me to make smileys in response to their texts, they must accept it.Also, my mother says I don't answer her texts properly. She sends me novels in a single text. Sometimes, all I can manage is a
which I am then told is backwards. If this continues, I might start replying to them with ):
Please advise.
Sincerely,
Smiling wrong in NC
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Tell your mother I said you are saving the world one neck at a time.
Ever go to a staged event at an arena intended for hockey or basketball? Unless you sleep with the dude at TicketMaster, you get seats well down the side far from the stage, and to watch means turning your head quite far to one side. It gives you a headache which lingers and your neck muscles protest, too.
Having tilted my head to the left for more than a decade for :=) to work, it's about time some people used (=: before I listed left permanently. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Maryn, ever so grateful
Ever go to a staged event at an arena intended for hockey or basketball? Unless you sleep with the dude at TicketMaster, you get seats well down the side far from the stage, and to watch means turning your head quite far to one side. It gives you a headache which lingers and your neck muscles protest, too.
Having tilted my head to the left for more than a decade for :=) to work, it's about time some people used (=: before I listed left permanently. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Maryn, ever so grateful
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My great-grandmother was born on an Indian reservation. When people ask me what we are having for Thanksgiving, I say, "Pilgrim".
But here, Dear Maryn, is my guilty gripe:
For 2 years in a row, sometime between Thanksgiving and Xmas, my stepson (who I adore) has arrived with his ex-wife, daughter, grandson, and the daughter's significant other (lordy I loathe that term—and I feel much the same about him). They stayed for 2 days, during which my husband and I provided food and drink, cooking, and shelter.
Last year, my wealthy ex-daughter-in-law told me they plan on making it a yearly habit. . . Well, I was thrilled to hear it.
Not only is it exhausting, it is fekking expensive and it happens between the two costly holidays. I don't complain about it because I don't want my husband to be any more uncomfortable with it than he already is, and because my stepson, bless his good heart, thinks he's doing us a big favor.
I love it when my son and his wife come for Thanksgiving, and my stepson, I'm always glad to see. Other than that, I'm happy to hang out with my ol' boy, too.
But here, Dear Maryn, is my guilty gripe:
For 2 years in a row, sometime between Thanksgiving and Xmas, my stepson (who I adore) has arrived with his ex-wife, daughter, grandson, and the daughter's significant other (lordy I loathe that term—and I feel much the same about him). They stayed for 2 days, during which my husband and I provided food and drink, cooking, and shelter.
Last year, my wealthy ex-daughter-in-law told me they plan on making it a yearly habit. . . Well, I was thrilled to hear it.
Not only is it exhausting, it is fekking expensive and it happens between the two costly holidays. I don't complain about it because I don't want my husband to be any more uncomfortable with it than he already is, and because my stepson, bless his good heart, thinks he's doing us a big favor.
Yep. Shame, shame.Am I a bad person for telling a relative I'd be "busy" for Thanksgiving because I really don't want to be bothered with all the extra cleaning and cooking and "hosting" people this year?
I just wanna relax and chill with my Hubby, yanno?
I love it when my son and his wife come for Thanksgiving, and my stepson, I'm always glad to see. Other than that, I'm happy to hang out with my ol' boy, too.
And how do you know that?
Do you have his phone number?
BUT the hard part of the clean up is all the pots and pans.
Dear Maryn,
My family keeps telling me I make my smiley faces wrong - as in
Smiling wrong in NCAmbi-disaster
Dear Maryn,
Your enabling advice to Ambi-disaster was spot off.
I live with a lefty and suffer from toilet paper unrolling the wrong way to pot handles turned the wrong way on the stove to having a battle to eat when seated on her sinister left side.
Un-smiley in Albany
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Why take two, if one will do?
So it comes down to: How many feet do you have?
Maryn, eminently practical
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Oops. And that dude was gross, too. And now he emails me every single day about shows I don't want to see.
Dear Maryn,
I thought that was supposed to be "our little secret?"
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These are adults so you get to be blunt-but-friendly.My great-grandmother was born on an Indian reservation. When people ask me what we are having for Thanksgiving, I say, "Pilgrim".
But here, Dear Maryn, is my guilty gripe:
For 2 years in a row, sometime between Thanksgiving and Xmas, my stepson (who I adore) has arrived with his ex-wife, daughter, grandson, and the daughter's significant other (lordy I loathe that term—and I feel much the same about him). They stayed for 2 days, during which my husband and I provided food and drink, cooking, and shelter.
Last year, my wealthy ex-daughter-in-law told me they plan on making it a yearly habit. . . Well, I was thrilled to hear it.
Not only is it exhausting, it is fekking expensive and it happens between the two costly holidays. I don't complain about it because I don't want my husband to be any more uncomfortable with it than he already is, and because my stepson, bless his good heart, thinks he's doing us a big favor.
Yep. Shame, shame.
I love it when my son and his wife come for Thanksgiving, and my stepson, I'm always glad to see. Other than that, I'm happy to hang out with my ol' boy, too.
"We do enjoy seeing you all, but this is freakin' expensive, and right between the two expensive holidays, too. Significant other, here's a short grocery list. Would you and Daughter buy the groceries, since I'm cooking and cleaning up after? Or we'll buy, and you can do all the cooking and cleaning up after. Either way." If they opt to be cheapskates, leave the house while they prepare the meal. A nice walk, perhaps? That's free.
Maryn, who has a thing about guests who bring guests and another thing about people who presume to invite themselves annually after being invited a few times
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You, sir, are a cad and a bounder. (Or, as my uncooperative fingers typed, a can and a border. Take your pick.)Dear Maryn,
Your enabling advice to Ambi-disaster was spot off.
I live with a lefty and suffer from toilet paper unrolling the wrong way to pot handles turned the wrong way on the stove to having a battle to eat when seated on her sinister left side.
Un-smiley in Albany):
Maryn, left handed
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Then I sincerely hope one sock will do. Is it too much to hope for a knee-high? Perhaps one something like this.
Who said anything about feet?
Maryn, who has these
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Dear Maryn-
It's going to happen again. It's already starting. First it's the pointing and whispering. Then it's those stupid games.
It's all just a cover up. The corporation uses my deformity to keep people from pointing at the real problem.
Any day now that freakin' elf will start pretending he's my friend again and going on and on about how he wants to be a dentist.
Like I'm not supposed to remember the last five decades of this crap. The guy's been a dentist for fifty freakin' years now. He couldn't make a dolly if his life depended on it. Enough already.
Yes. My nose glows. Bumbles bounce. And all the make believe morality stories aren't going to change the fact that it takes nine of us to get the jolly guy's fat ass off the ground.
Why can't people just get over it?
ETA: (Yeah, 50 years this December. )
It's going to happen again. It's already starting. First it's the pointing and whispering. Then it's those stupid games.
It's all just a cover up. The corporation uses my deformity to keep people from pointing at the real problem.
Any day now that freakin' elf will start pretending he's my friend again and going on and on about how he wants to be a dentist.
Like I'm not supposed to remember the last five decades of this crap. The guy's been a dentist for fifty freakin' years now. He couldn't make a dolly if his life depended on it. Enough already.
Yes. My nose glows. Bumbles bounce. And all the make believe morality stories aren't going to change the fact that it takes nine of us to get the jolly guy's fat ass off the ground.
Why can't people just get over it?
ETA: (Yeah, 50 years this December.
)
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mirandashell
Banned
"Hello, my name is Will."
All: "Hi, Will."
"Assume
All: "Yeah, right, Will."