Write the novel you want or clip a few scenes?

blacbird said:

If I'm writing a story about a particularly vile and subtle form of vampire (I've done that), I'm not even momentarily tempted to include some mermaids, just because I might think mermaids cool.

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Hey, vampire mermaids sound pretty cool to me! It could be the beginning of a whole new genre.

Reziac said:

You've written two different stories in the same manuscript. Instead of fighting it, take the mermaids out and write them their own story. It may intersect with or overlap the main story, and if so that's perfectly fine (many SF/F series do that).

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This is pretty much what I was going to say.

When doing a photography/film/animation course, the teacher said if you're trying/struggling to fit something into a photograph, then maybe the thing you're trying to fit in needs a photo of its own. That applies to stories just as much. Write a separate story about the mermaids. It can, like Reziac said, intersect/overlap with the other story.

rwm4768 said:

Maybe you could write another book that includes the mermaids. If they feel forced to you, they'll surely feel forced to the reader.

Or maybe the pretty, glistening mermaids are actually evil creatures.

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+1 I was going to say the same thing.

A lot of it depends on what kind of tone you use with the mermaids. If your story suddenly goes from gritty fantasy to children's fantasy, you have a problem. But there's no reason you can't handle a beautiful creature in a grittier story, if you write those scenes properly, keeping the same tone and style as the rest of the book.

Alli B. said:

Well, I'm not sure if I explained it well. My world is built completely. There are mermaids but the story has evolved. Originally, my MC interacts with them, and now I just think it'll be better for her to face the war and not run away because of the grittier nature the story has taken.

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Depends whether facing the war or running away is more in character (or more possible, if there's pressure or no choice). All the harder for MC when MC must leave the lovely mermaids and go back to ugly reality.

The problem may be that this part is not sufficiently developed, rather than that it no longer fits.

Every writer is different so what works for one may not work for another.

For me, I'd leave in the mermaids & everything else that seems even vaguely right when you write them. Then FINISH the book and SET IT ASIDE for a time. Come back to it when your emotions are less engaged and your critical mind more so.

Maybe you'll find that your subconscious was smarter than you are now, and that there was a good reason for the mermaids - if you tweak their part.

(Just for instance, does your main character learn some wisdom or skill essential for their future while they were swimming with the do erh mermaids. Or maybe s/he gains some much-needed healing while in the bright peaceful undersea realm?)

Alli B. said:

How have you handled a similar situation in the past?

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My general rule of thumb is: If I had to ask, it probably needs to go. Listen to that tiny voice. It's usually asking for a reason.

General rule, of course. Exceptions are everywhere. I also like the other people's suggestion that you can do a spinoff and let the mermaids have their own story.