The heartbreak of cutting a character you love...

I cut a character from my first book -- he absolutely needed to go.

I reused him in my..er...fourth book, and despite being a secondary character, he was the one who got most comments, including people asking for me to write a book just for him


You may need to cut him from this book, but there's nothing to say you can;t then write another story with him in it.

Tell him you are saving him up for something special

I cut a major character as well from a book.

And I used him in a short story.

That won a nice prize in a contest and got my "world" some recognition.

I don't think I've actually cut characters from my story so much as recycle them. I guess killing off a deadweight character within the story is another option, as I've done that as well. I do like the idea of using characters for short stories, as it does add more to your world that a reader might not get to see.

You are following not your heart and instincts, but those of your betas.

Okay, we all need readers, but when your betas are turning you inside-out like this it's time to ignore them. I had a friend who constantly rewrote her book to please 1. her students, 2. her adult beta-readers, 3. her colleagues. I told her point-blank one day YOU are NEVER going to finish this book.

So she ignored most of them and finished the book and guess what? She's getting the book published. (Indie publisher, the real deal.)

Do not allow yourself to jump through hoops like this. Take in all the advice, if you must, then decide for yourself which way to go. Otherwise you're going to be a miserable wreck and your book will never be the way YOU WANT IT.

If you need to cut, then cut.
Parts of Emmett can go into other characters if what you wrote was that good.

Look at George RR Martin - he cut Ed Stark out of Game of Thrones! Ha.

I'm running into the same problem; I have a character who only shows up for part of a chapter, and I think I need to replace him with a secondary character who shows up later on. This should theoretically help ratchet up tension between the secondary character and my main character. I need to really pour through all of the interactions and see if I can just increase conflict/tension in their scenes they have together, then start trying to outline how the replacement will affect things down the line. I don't like smooshing characters together or cutting or replacing, but sometimes it has to be done for the sake of making the story more linear feeling.

jaksen said:

You are following not your heart and instincts, but those of your betas.

Okay, we all need readers, but when your betas are turning you inside-out like this it's time to ignore them. I had a friend who constantly rewrote her book to please 1. her students, 2. her adult beta-readers, 3. her colleagues. I told her point-blank one day YOU are NEVER going to finish this book.

So she ignored most of them and finished the book and guess what? She's getting the book published. (Indie publisher, the real deal.)

Do not allow yourself to jump through hoops like this. Take in all the advice, if you must, then decide for yourself which way to go. Otherwise you're going to be a miserable wreck and your book will never be the way YOU WANT IT.

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I agree, listen to all advice but decide which pieces of advise matter.
Everyone's different, everyone will complain.
Some people like romance, some people like horror, some people like both.
Cut a character if you think you need to, not because others want you to.

I dunno. I read your OP and my first reaction was that your beta readers were maybe not that great a source of advice? Now, I haven't read your book and they have so they know far better than I do. But based on what you've described and a quick glance at your QLH thread, I don't know that I see a "Scooby-Doo" plot. I also don't know that that's the kind of high-detail crit that would make me want to change a book's whole plot and genre. If they mean the plot's too simple, OK. That's one thing. But hey, Scooby-Doo is a successful franchise--simple, but effective for its audience, which also happens(ed) to be your audience, so Tropes are Not Bad, necessarily.

I do not, on the other hand, look at your descriptions and queries and think "Let's make this another werewolf love story." This is very much my subjective opinion, and I haven't read it. Reading your query made me kind of think the story was "meh." Werewolf girl meets evil werewolf, sexual tension with other werewolves. There's probably more going on there but the story didn't grab me (possibly because I don't usually read this genre, but still). Now, you put at the top of this page about werewolf falling in love with a golem and dealing with undersea creatures? That looks cool. It looks a little bit different. I want to see what a golem in love looks like. I want to know what these undersea creatures are. All of a sudden Genny's internal conflicts and loneliness make a lot more sense. And if Emmett is one of the best, most unique parts of your story, then you may want to rethink cutting him.

You know your beta-readers best. You know how much you want to trust them versus random me. That's as it should be. I wasn't going to say anything but then I saw that your betas were kind of going back on what they had said and I wondered just what that initial crit was like. Beta readers are just readers and you can't please everyone. Sometimes readers don't even really know why they disliked something--they might think they do, but they're wrong. Everyone else is right: you have to decide. You're the expert.

I agree with VeryBig, I really liked the idea of the first story you had better. This new direction feels like it's a lot like many books I see of the type, and I read a lot of the paranormal romance-y side of the 50 shades of horror monsters fandom. But it's your story of course . Just remember, betas are only betas, they're not meant to be the final people you're selling to (or writing for).

Assuming you still have earlier versions ... Might not be a bad idea to step away for a week, work on something else entirely, then come back to the original version and give a quick read-through, then decide for yourself which version is stronger.

I've long found when I get critiques that they often confirm what I've had a sense was a problem already but dreaded the work that would have to go into fixing it. Ultimately it depends on which story you alone think is better.

Well... maybe I'm biased, but...

I've run into a similar situation in a novel I'm writing. A character who was initially meant to be a villain has become the most complicated and interesting character in the book; however, the story is more straightforward without him. I've chosen to keep him anyway (while finding other ways to improve the manuscript). The truth is, connection to characters is what makes a story feel real. If this character is interesting and complex and your beta readers care about him, why cut him? He's a unique piece of the manuscript.

Removing Emmett would up the angst factor, remove Genny's external moral compass, take away her only ally. And that's all to the good, right?

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No, that actually does not sound good. It sounds different, not better. I know that ruthlessness is a trait championed among writers, but sometimes being ruthless is a bad thing -- it leads people to take measures too drastic. When you fall in love with a character, generally, there's a reason. This character fills a role. He's a positive note in a bleak world.

It doesn't sound to me like he takes away from the horror and sadness of your story. More like he provides contrast. It's a boring story if everything is awful.

JMO, though. This is probably not what you wanted to hear, haha. More conflicting opinions. Sorry, I'll let myself out.

I got rid of one of my characters and replaced him with an indian named a Taj Mahajan. My wife did not like the name because it sounded too much like the Taj Mahal, but that is what I wanted.

Are you sure the golem won't show up in a different book? Cuz it sounds to me like you actually wrote two entirely different books, even tho they used some of the same characters. You might try reworking the golem's story with that in mind.

Yeah, you could put a different heroine in one of the books and make it two werewolf stories in a series, if you wanted to .

Not every subplot nor character--even major subplots and major characters--will appear in the query. The more complex your story is, the more the query will only reflect a small facet of the whole. I feel like "because he doesn't appear in the query" isn't a good enough reason to cut a character. Some of your other reasons maybe are good enough, but that one sounds weak.

Emmett sounds like the sort of character I would read the book for.