One for family and friends with real names and one possibly for wide distribution with perhaps made-up names? I don't want to fake names when I'm not saying anything bad about the person, but will ask as many as I can get in touch with, if they want real names used.
What I want to know is, can I at some point e-publish or make the whole thing available through POD or something to those who want it, but still sell "the interesting parts" as a "real book" (that is, assuming there are enough interesting parts)? Would the publishers be upset that part of it appeared in another form, or would a wildly successful e-book impress them? I guess this is okay as it's two different versions of the same thing, but...is it okay?
I used to think about things like these a lot when writing my stories. I've even thought about changing my story into a work of fiction in order to save everyone's feelings and to keep from making anyone upset. But I don't think like this on the matter any longer.
What I've found is simple enough; no matter what you do, no matter what you write, there are always going to be those who do not agree with you. There are always going to be those you are going to make angry by what you said. You can put all the sweet, creamy butter, and flowers and rainbows and sparkles and sprinkles you want on that thing--and someone is still going to hate you for what you've done.
The more I write, the more I reveal, the more I like it (another reason it has taken me so bloody long to get my story told. I've rewritten some of the same stories twenty times, all with different themes and angles and insights). The down and dirtier I get, the more I like it. The more detail and insight I uncover and put into words, the more I like it.
The bottom line is this: It's my story, and I'll tell it.
If someone doesn't like it, that's too bad. If someone doesn't like it, don’t read it, don’t complain; instead put fingers to keyboard and let's hear your version of what happened.
In "Confessions Of An S.O.B.", USA Today media mogul Al Newharth wrote his story without holding anything back. If that wasn't interesting enough, he'd also asked members of his family to tell their side of things, without holding back, before he published his story. The stories they told were published, unedited, in his own book. Now, that takes some guts. Not everyone had nice things to say about Al.
It's not like those you are trying to protect can't have their say. They most certainly can. And you might learn a few things about yourself when and if they do tell their side of things. And if you really want to protect them, then it is probably a good idea not to publish your memoir at all.
It's like saying J.D. Salinger should not have written "Catcher In The Rye" because Mark David Chapman might get his meaning all twisted up in his mind and shoot John Lennon as a result.
It's like saying journalists shouldn't tell the truth, because it might offend or make vulnerable the evildoers they are trying to expose in the first place.
In my own experience with this, I had always wanted to tell my story from my own unique standpoint, but the biggest problem I ran into was the thought of saying anything bad about my mother. The standing, unspoken order of things was this: dad was an evil bastard, and mom was the goodly saint always trying to do the best she could with what she had, only she was being deprived and tortured by his madness. True enough, that was the case. But it’s also true, the matter that I refused to acknowledge in the outset of the project, was that it takes two to tangle. The truth be told, mom is a jealous rat who had her own insidious ways of doing things and getting what she wanted at the expense of others, just like dad. She is also a liar, pure and simple. She lies like a rug. She's also perpetually in denial. I had always wondered, growing up, where in the world I got these habits myself. When I finally faced the music and was willing to face reality, I understood that I got all of these things from my mother. She taught me well. Just because someone doesn't run around drinking booze and beating people up don't mean they aren't capable of their own brand and style of evil. My point is, how in the world will I tell my story 'from my own unique standpoint' without telling the truth about everyone--including myself. It's not like I didn't screw up and pull a few shenanigans of my own. I sure did.
Say what you came to say -- or don't say anything at all. That's how I feel and think about it. If you can’t speak your mind and tell the truth, you’re the one who’s in danger, you’re the one you’re trying to protect.
Besides, people like dirt. It sells. Every time I need to plant my garden again, I need to go out and buy a truckload of the stuff. Dirt is good. Dirt tells others who are dirty they are not alone. Everyone is dirty. No family is perfect. I’ve been involved with the so-called “perfect family” on many occasion, met a ton of them. I found them, for the most part, to be goofier than my family ever was--and to think they lacked all the excuses my family fell back on! They didn't even have the booze, drugs, and denial baloney to work through!
And yes, you can self-publish any way you like, in as many different versions and formats as you like. I would imagine a wildly successful
anything would impress the publishers.