How to write characters that readers/agents connect with?

Status
Not open for further replies.

LadyA

Always lurking, never posting...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 26, 2010
Messages
1,700
Reaction score
245
Location
The wilds of Devon, England
I've been having problems with character 'connectability' (if that's a word. The last two mss I sent to agents have both had multiple agents request fulls or partials, really enthusiastic, and then reject me saying they 'didn't connect' with my main characters.

I don't know what to do because it's not like dialogue or something which is easier to fix and more obvious - I've tried really hard to write sympathetic, likeable characters, but I don't know what it is that seems to stop the agents from connecting.

Does anyone know how to write characters that readers connect with? Or how to improve a character's 'connectability'?

Thanks :)
 

Sage

Currently titleless
Staff member
Moderator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
64,562
Reaction score
22,368
Age
43
Location
Cheering you all on!
It could mean several things. It could mean that the agents know that they're not falling in love with the book, and don't know exactly why, but they don't love the characters, so that is the reason they put down for it. It could mean that they just particularly don't like the character, but others might (this is more of a problem, though, the more rejections you get on requests with this reason). It could mean that your MC isn't likable, and doesn't give the reader a reason to like reading about her anyway. It could be that you're not showing (or, alternatively, telling) enough of her feelings and they're having trouble connecting to them. It could mean that she does or says something early on that colors how they see her in a way that you never thought about.

I've had that happen--first round of betas hated the LI because he said something in an argument with the MC, where he was actually meant to be in the right. Changing one line changed how betas saw him.

I've also had it where I over-edited and in an attempt to show the MC's emotions, I took out a lot of her expressing her emotions in the narrative, and it went from a book that people were obsessed with to a book where people couldn't connect to the MC.

But really, it's hard to read into it because it is a buzzword/phrase for rejection.
 

Wilde_at_heart

υπείκωphobe
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 12, 2012
Messages
3,243
Reaction score
514
Location
Southern Ontario
It sounds to me - if you're getting requests - that the opening pages/character introductions aren't the problem, at least. However, with two MS and multiple agents, it likely is an issue later on and not just them ...

Maybe it's something about the way characters react to particular situations that is the problem, or maybe the POV isn't deep enough or something.

It might not be a bad idea to put up an integral scene later in the novel in SYW and ask for critiques with specifically that in mind.
 

Smiley0501

Lurker, now activated. :-)
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
2,948
Reaction score
264
Location
The Northeast, USA
I had a problem like this. I wrote a YA contemporary with a great hook, great writing, and…unlikeable MC. I rewrote the entire ms in a new voice. Queried again. Same problem. It was heartbreaking to shelve, but I did it.

I then sat down and played with voice. I just read books with characters I loved, and decided to do a short exercise. I'd write a page about a character who had a problem and was stubborn and wouldn't admit to it. BUT I explained why she did what she did to avoid the problem on page 1. For whatever reason…the "short exercise" turned into a novel.

I agree with Sage and Wilde that it's hard to say. It might just be that agents aren't relating to your mc and their problems or that they're telling too much and not showing. Or that they just need a reason to reject. Because as Sage said…it's a buzzword for rejection.

:(

*Sending lots of hugs, Lady A*
 

Gringa

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
3,787
Reaction score
1,738
Show "heart" from the get-go.
 

wampuscat

Recovering adjective addict
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
3,130
Reaction score
410
But really, it's hard to read into it because it is a buzzword/phrase for rejection.

I think there's definitely something to be said about this.

I don't know that I have any advice for how to write a character that is easy to connect to, but I know that as reader, I'm very focused on characters. If I don't connect with a character, it's hard for me to care much about the book unless the plot or the writing is absolutely amazing.

I don't necessarily have to like the character, though, and I know that's different from some other readers. For me, it's more about voice and a sense of human-ness in the character. Having a sense of motivation and why the characters do what they do is important to me, too.

What do your betas say? Maybe a fresh eye with a particular focus on that could help?

Sorry to not be of much help. :Huh:
 

Ken

Banned
Kind Benefactor
Joined
Dec 28, 2007
Messages
11,478
Reaction score
6,198
Location
AW. A very nice place!
In general it means your characters aren't as three-dimensional as they need to be. They don't feel like people, but like fictional constructions, granted the critique isn't just form rejection terminology as Sage has spelt out. The fix is just to get into your characters more and know their ins and outs through and through and reveal those things in your ms.
 

The_Ink_Goddess

we're gonna make it out of the fire
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,206
Reaction score
312
Location
England
Chiming in with wampuscat and Sage here. 99% of the time, I think it just means, "I'm not super digging this but can't figure out why - I like the plot and there's no other obvious reason so it must be the characters." I know it's hard to hear, esp. if it keeps happening but I mostly feel it's a general phrase for "something's missing but I'm not sure what." I think being an agent might be sort of like trying to find a best friend - plenty of people are nice and sort of interesting, but it's rare to find that click where you say, "this one!"

I've had a TON of these in my time, as well - some harsher than others. I wrote a very unlikeable MC and I knew she wouldn't be for everyone (like, at all - she's repellent from the first chapter). I never-ever respond except to say a polite thanks to thorough feedback, but why would you request a book that you know is going to be very dark, with a crazy-unpleasant MC, and suddenly expect to find her likeable and stable and relatable? Maybe the answer is that I couldn't write well enough, or there was something off about the book, and I understand that, but gah, I know the feeling when you're just like, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?"

Sadly, sometimes, the answer is nothing. Have some chocolate. Write more.

(also, @LadyA: I keep meaning to reply to your PM at some point. Uni work has suddenly got crazy again so I seem to have nothing else on my brain...)
 

Niiicola

Twitchy
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
368
Location
New England
I agree with everybody that there's a very good chance it's just generic rejection language. That and "didn't connect with the story." On the plus side, you're getting personalized rejections, which means you're getting close :)

That said, to answer the question, what makes me connect with characters is usually little moments of weakness or humanity or longing. For whatever reason, readers like to want things along with your character, and often it's the little stuff, rather than the story's main arc or goal, that endears characters. Most people can't identify with a crazy premise like "being forced to fight in a televised death-match" but they totally latch on to the "need to protect your little sister" thing. That's the point where they connect with Katniss and are willing to follow her through three books.

This is something I'm trying to learn how to do myself, so I've been studying books I'm reading and pinpointing moments where I was like "yep, I'm sold on this character and want to know everything about her." Right now I'm reading The Bone Clocks, and it's got a zillion POV characters, all really well developed, so it's awesome for my purposes. Here are a couple of (not really spoilery) examples:

Character 1 is a whiny teenage girl. She's quite snarky and funny, but I'm pretty meh about her until I start learning details about visions she used to have as a kid, strange people appearing, weird stuff happening. Then I start to think "hmm, there's a lot more to this girl than she's letting on." Then she gets her heart broken and I really feel for her, especially the way she tries to hide her feelings behind a tough exterior, but still basically dissolves into a crying mess.

Character 2 is an unfeeling sociopath asshole. Total social climber, takes advantage of every single person in his life. Then he gives a homeless guy £40 for absolutely no reason. Suddenly I'm a little bit invested. Then he falls in love with this woman in one of the best-written falling-in-love scenes I've ever read and I honestly don't care if this guy murders a bunch of puppies next. I'm sold.

Character 3 is a war journalist who spends all his time traveling to dangerous countries, leaving his wife and daughter behind. I'm honestly a little bored by him at first, but the war stories are so fascinating that I can't stop reading them. Then he goes home and struggles with being a parent again to his daughter and she's busy testing his patience and being a normal kid, and he's guilty and confused and loves her so madly that I can't help but feel for him. Another character I've bought into.

OK, I've gone on way too long. Again, don't read too much into "didn't connect" rejections, but this is kind of a big thing for me lately so I figured I'd share.
 
Last edited:

Fuchsia Groan

Becoming a laptop-human hybrid
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 27, 2008
Messages
2,870
Reaction score
1,399
Location
The windswept northern wastes
Everybody's made great points. I've often heard, "Your characters are too cold; I couldn't connect," so I struggle a lot with this. My characters tend to be stoic and keep their feelings hidden even from themselves, and that can alienate readers, too.

Spelling out motivations helps. Adding moments of vulnerability and humanity helps. For me, reading QLH helped, because I started realizing that I wasn't always sure what my MCs wanted, only what they feared or didn't want. My characters were often scared to admit their motivations even to themselves, but I had to find ways to convey those motivations to the reader. So returning and over to the question "What does she want?" helped.

I read somewhere that readers tend to connect most with characters who strongly want something, even if what they want is to destroy the world or kill their rival. (Look at the MCs of Gone Girl. Not always so likable, but very strongly motivated.) Strong, decisive emotions are easy to latch on to. Characters who aren't sure what they want are a harder sell, though I've seen them work in some very popular books (for instance, The M@gic1ans series).
 

eparadysz

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 10, 2011
Messages
1,090
Reaction score
327
Location
come, been, and gone
I read somewhere that readers tend to connect most with characters who strongly want something, even if what they want is to destroy the world or kill their rival. (Look at the MCs of Gone Girl. Not always so likable, but very strongly motivated.) Strong, decisive emotions are easy to latch on to. Characters who aren't sure what they want are a harder sell, though I've seen them work in some very popular books (for instance, The M@gic1ans series).

I've been thinking about this in terms of this thread in QLH. Someone there mentioned REBECCA, and how passive the MC is. It's been decades since I read it, but what I remember about her is that she desperately wanted the acceptance/love of her husband, and that's what made her vulnerable to manipulation by Mrs. Danvers. And I think it's that desire that makes her a compelling character, even though it's almost painful to read, knowing she'd just going to keep digging herself in deeper.

Come to think of it, maybe THE MAGICIANS is similar. I'd argue that, though the characters seem pretty aimless, Quentin does want something -- I think he wants, more or less, to exist in a fictional world, and so his desire is unachievable.

Anyway, I agree that having a character with a strong, fundamental longing for something is a good way to build a connection for readers.
 

breaking_burgundy

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
554
Reaction score
48
Location
in transit
Does "connecting" have to imply likeabiilty? Sometimes, as a reader, I can't connect with characters not because I don't like them, but because I'm not *convinced* by their actions. If a character does something that seems unnecessarily stupid or that doesn't make sense, sometimes it'll jar me out of the story. (Not saying characters shouldn't do stupid things, but if they do, I should be 100% convinced that it is within their character to do that.) If a reader can relate to a character on an emotional level, it shouldn't matter how likeable that character is.
 

wampuscat

Recovering adjective addict
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
3,130
Reaction score
410
Does "connecting" have to imply likeabiilty? Sometimes, as a reader, I can't connect with characters not because I don't like them, but because I'm not *convinced* by their actions. If a character does something that seems unnecessarily stupid or that doesn't make sense, sometimes it'll jar me out of the story. (Not saying characters shouldn't do stupid things, but if they do, I should be 100% convinced that it is within their character to do that.) If a reader can relate to a character on an emotional level, it shouldn't matter how likeable that character is.

This is a really good way to put it. If a character doesn't seem genuine, it's much more likely that book will be a DNF.
 

Niiicola

Twitchy
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
368
Location
New England
Does "connecting" have to imply likeabiilty?

I don't think so, not in a conventional way anyway. But I'm struggling to think of a character that I've actively disliked on all levels and still wanted to read about. If they're making cruel decisions or even really dumb ones, they need to be extra compelling to make up for it.
 

Darron

Always trust a geologist
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 24, 2014
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Location
Florida
I don't know if this is something you are dealing with, but if you write a character like a person you know, there is a danger that you are not fully describing them.
I've fallen for this and had to go back and make sure I give enough detail to someone who's never met my characters because when I write and review it I know who the person in real life looks, acts, and gestures. It really can be a challenge to step back and pretend like you've never met the person and sew in all their traits as you go along so the readers see him/her the way you want.
 

Howard Beale

Mad as Hell!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Messages
125
Reaction score
6
Location
United Kingdom
One of my shelved projects is about the exploits of a pair of Bonnie & Clyde-esque psychopaths who are trying to double-cross each other whilst running from the law. They are genuinely inhuman. So much so that if anyone was to 'connect' with them I would be genuinely worried. This is why I think the whole 'I didn't connect with your character' spiel is silly.

I don't think it is about 'connectability' but about realism. Can the reader, knowing what this character is like, BELIEVE what they have just done? If so, then I have done my job. I don't expect them to like, sympathise or agree, just believe.

A character breaking that thin, translucent veil of realism is akin to breaking the fourth wall. I can like or dislike your characters but as long as I believe them I will keep on reading.

But yeah, 'connect with' is so vague it could mean anything.
 

SpinningWheel

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 23, 2013
Messages
767
Reaction score
49
Location
Yorkshire, England
Amy, have you read 'Writing the breakout novel' by Donald Maas? You might find the chapter on characters and also the first bit of the chapter on stakes, helpful.

It might not be that they're not sympathetic or likeable, but more that they don't have the passion and moral qualities that make you root for them.
 

Mallory

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 18, 2011
Messages
107
Reaction score
7
Location
Tampa/St. Pete area (FL)
It's impossible to pinpoint the exact problem without having read your book, but to echo off of what Smiley said, look at the voice.

I've read/edited people's drafts where there's nothing wrong on the surface -- gripping plot concept, relatable character, etc. -- but the voice and style is really dry.

It happens a lot in 3rd person. 3rd person isn't inferior to 1st, but a lot of people get too distant with the voice. Even in 3rd, you still have to give your character a strong, distinct, personality-having voice with the way you narrate, and it has to sound like an actual teenager, not an adult or someone too objective.
 

adipose

Registered
Joined
Nov 26, 2012
Messages
46
Reaction score
3
Location
Washington, D.C.
This is all super interesting, and something I'm worried about in my WIP--that maybe my MC isn't consistent enough in her personality, or it doesn't shine through on the page in the way I'd want. Do you guys have strategies on how you get to know your characters and then how you show that in writing?
 

wampuscat

Recovering adjective addict
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
3,130
Reaction score
410
I do a lot of freewriting and allow my characters to do a lot of thinking, exposition, etc., that often gets cut down in the main story. I've tried all that character interviewing and whatnot prior to writing, but I usually have to feel my way through a WIP and then go back to the beginning and smooth out the characters' inconsistencies throughout. I think when considering your character's personality, it's wise to give them some freedom too. All people sometimes make mistakes or go against the way they'd usually act.
I guess time will tell how successful I am at writing good characters, but as long as they and their actions feel genuine to me, I'm pretty happy.
 

Niiicola

Twitchy
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
368
Location
New England
I've tried all that character interviewing and whatnot prior to writing, but I usually have to feel my way through a WIP and then go back to the beginning and smooth out the characters' inconsistencies throughout.

I'm about to do this exact thing in about a week :D A couple of my characters are basically walking puppets right now and they're going to get better personalities in the next round.
 
Last edited:

Windcutter

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 10, 2011
Messages
2,181
Reaction score
135
I've been having problems with character 'connectability' (if that's a word. The last two mss I sent to agents have both had multiple agents request fulls or partials, really enthusiastic, and then reject me saying they 'didn't connect' with my main characters.

I don't know what to do because it's not like dialogue or something which is easier to fix and more obvious - I've tried really hard to write sympathetic, likeable characters, but I don't know what it is that seems to stop the agents from connecting.
Do you happen to have a writing voice that provides the reader with a somewhat limited look into the character's inner workings? I received my share of those comments and I actually know the reason in my case, one agent even spelled it out: despite the story being written in first person, MC gave very little "screen time" to her feelings. It was mostly descriptions of action, her surroundings, and her tactics in reaching her goal.

I'm actually trying an experiment right now, and the WIP sounds almost hysterical to me, it's so stuffed with MC's emotions all through the narrative. But who knows, maybe people will like it. :)
It happens a lot in 3rd person. 3rd person isn't inferior to 1st, but a lot of people get too distant with the voice. Even in 3rd, you still have to give your character a strong, distinct, personality-having voice with the way you narrate, and it has to sound like an actual teenager, not an adult or someone too objective.
This. Is why I switched to 1st person. My narrative is cold enough as it is.
 

what?

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 7, 2014
Messages
258
Reaction score
14
The above is all guesswork. You'd have to let us read one of your works to be able to understand what might be amiss.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.