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Robins Agency / Writer for Hire (Cris Robins)

DaveKuzminski

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Well, Cris, I'll give you credit as an agent when you sell someone else's book and not yours. So far, that sale only makes you a published author.
 

Julie Worth

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James D. Macdonald said:
Hi, Cris!

Do you have a list (title, author, publisher) of books you've sold over the last three or four years?

A while back I asked Chris about her sales, and she replied: "...as to our sales; well, the truth is I used to tell the world what our sales were in detail. And every single time I did, someone would call the publisher and yell at them because they bought someone elses' book and not theirs. So, I quit doing it. Why would I cause a publisher grief when I didn't have to?"
 

CaoPaux

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Beautiful, as always, Victoria. :D

The mention of a "publisher irritated about inappropriate submissions" caught my eye. How often do pubs report such to Writer Beware? I remember you've asked pubs in the past to list their irritants, but it's nice to know they take the initiative, too.
 

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Julie Worth said:
" ...the truth is I used to tell the world what our sales were in detail."

I first heard of Cris Robins in 1999/2000 or so ... and I don't recall she ever listed sales, in detail or otherwise. I recall her breathless account of her first trip to New York. It didn't include any talk of sales.

If she ever listed sales, I'd expect that someone, somewhere, would have seen and recalled it. So far, nothing.
 

FreeSpirit

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I'm wondering if Cris doesn't pop on these thread from time to time to intentionally troll for unsuspecting clients. It brings her thread to the foreground and natural curiosity would direct someone to her site.
 

Aconite

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Julie Worth said:
A while back I asked Chris about her sales, and she replied: "...as to our sales; well, the truth is I used to tell the world what our sales were in detail. And every single time I did, someone would call the publisher and yell at them because they bought someone elses' book and not theirs. So, I quit doing it. Why would I cause a publisher grief when I didn't have to?"
Oh, Lord. Not at you, Julie, but at this lame excuse of Cris'. Sales are public. Nobody hesitates to report sales on, say, Publishers Weekly out of fear of such behavior. It's a BS excuse that pseudoagents use to avoid having to admit they have no sales.
 

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I've had personal dealings with Cris Robins, or whatever alias she is using this year, and have posted about her before.

I believe her skills lie in staying out of jail.

The first thing Cris says, when you get her on the phone is, "What can I do for you?"

Before the ten minutes is up, she is asking for $3200.

Then, if you ask for references, she shrugs it off as an insult, but eventually gives you two names, with email addresses to contact. If you do contact her references, you'll receive an immediate reply, worded something like "what can I do for you?"

So, you ask these "people" questions about sales and working with Cris, and they arrogantly stammer about what a wonderful negotiator Cris is, how they have never seen an agent land movie deals, and several book deals for their clients, like Cris Robins does. They go on and on, praising Cris and thanking God that they met this fantastic woman and businessperson.

Within a day or so, Cris calls you on the phone again to ask you what your decision was.

She is disapointed to find that you have been searching for information on her references, too, and that it's common knowledge on writers forums on the net, that Cris uses the same alias', over and over again.

So, if you're lucky, she'll cuss at you and hang up. Then, expect to receive a few filthy emails from her "references," thanking you for wasting their time.


Does this sound to you like a healthy person you would like to send money to?
 

cris_robins

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Had I known the response to my post would have generated the interest in our agency that it has, I would have done this years ago!

Our phones are ringing off the hook, our e-mail inbox is being flooded with submissions, and the hits to our site are going through the roof. Some of those who you turned away months ago are even coming back! And we welcome all of them for consideration.

The responses are all positive! Some of the responses we are getting include:

n Don’t they know to infringe on copyright laws you have to say it’s yours?

n Don’t they know you get a copy of every thing submitted in a complaint, any complaint?

n You ONLY charge $3,250? My last agent charged me much, much more!

n If they are going to pick apart your own sale, what would they do to a client of yours? Don’t tell them!

n If you don’t lose in a complaint, you win; or don’t they get that?

n Can’t they read where you list the clients’ work that is FOR SALE, not sold?

n These guys are the experts in the industry and they can neither read nor understand?

n Don’t they have anything better to do with their time?

Those are just from the writers – the doctors, lawyers, judges, professionals and executives who have been looking for a professional agent who knows how to give them the respect and customer service they can’t find with other agents.

The publishers who have contacted us are even more impressed with our attitude as they’ve been looking to work with another agent who doesn’t come with excuses but delivers on their promises. (Our requests for submissions are higher than ever!)


I really cannot thank all of you enough. I couldn’t buy this kind of publicity. People aren’t stupid; they know there is no such thing as a free lunch; and now, you’ve given them the outlet they’ve been looking to find.


Please, keep up the good work!

With grace,

Cris Robins

www.robins-agency.com

[email protected]

[314] 569-9838

(Just in case anyone didn’t have it. J ]
 

Julie Worth

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Astonishing! The sheer chutzpah! I see her flailing away with a baseball bat, surrounded by angry writers. Bonk! One goes down. “Three thousand is cheap!” Bonk! “You write, but you can’t read!” Bonk! “I’ve never lost in court. I won!” Bonk! The writers, natural cowards, break ranks and run away. Chris chases them for a bit, swinging the bat. “They’ll be back! They’ll be back with their checkbooks open, mark my words.”



 

DaveKuzminski

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So, Cris, if you're so open and honest, how many sales have you made to date? Surely you have records to know the count since you and your authors would be receiving royalties to share. So, how about it? How many books have you sold to date?
 

Aconite

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cris_robins said:
I really cannot thank all of you enough. I couldn’t buy this kind of publicity. People aren’t stupid; they know there is no such thing as a free lunch; and now, you’ve given them the outlet they’ve been looking to find.
Amusingly enough, PublishAmerica tried to use this same tactic when outed in a scathing article in a major national newspaper. Apparently, a certain personality type thinks we'll actualy believe that our work to warn people off is having the opposite effect, and that we'll be so devastated at the thought of driving people into the arms of bad companies that we'll stop warning people about them.

Hey, pigs could fly, too.
 
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mdin

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07-minister.jpg

 

Sassenach

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cris_robins said:
n You ONLY charge $3,250? My last agent charged me much, much more!


They're making progress! You're only half the shyster their last agent was.

At this rate, you'll have the clueless writer market sewed up.
 

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cris_robins said:
The publishers who have contacted us are even more impressed with our attitude as they’ve been looking to work with another agent who doesn’t come with excuses but delivers on their promises. (Our requests for submissions are higher than ever!)


Messageboard posts to the contrary, I realize you aren't a fiction writer per se, so here's a little advice: to make your fiction believable, you have to exaggerate just a little bit. Too much and you've lost the reader's suspension of disbelief. Suspension of disbelief is vital to making stories that are made up whole cloth believable.

Don’t they have anything better to do with their time?

Assuming someone really did say that, there's a certain subset of the population that will defend an underdog, no matter what he or she has done. Those people write to convicted serial killers in prison, too, sympathizing with those poor, misunderstood souls.
 
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Once you've heard the truth, everything else is ju
Aconite, that was exactly my thought as well. Chris's ravings sound a lot like PA's bluster when it got its corporate face smacked publicly a year or so back: "Why of course that publicity was wonderful! Our email basket is simply overflowing with eager authors wanting to send us their wares!"

When the inimitable Stooges finally get theirs...Lord haste the day...I believe ol' Chrissy could fill their shoes quite nicely, thank you.

John (who's proudly PA--and Chrissy--free)
 

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Once you've heard the truth, everything else is ju
Oh yeah, and Chris? My agent never charged a shekel, pfennig, or a thin dime..and in spite of that managed to hook a nice three-book deal with a good mid-sized house for me. Then she took her 15% commission...as reputable agents do.

So nyahh.
 

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Since it's back a few pages, I thought I'd post links to my experiences with Cris Robbins.

Here's where she sent me a completely inappropriate submission. And here's her nonsensical response when I pointed out her mistake.
 

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I'm not sure what Cris is trying to prove here - that she is the perfect representative for people who are clueless about publishing? If I were running a shady operation, I wouldn't be too keen to have lawyers and doctors as my clients, since they tend to have the professional contacts and monetary means to sue when they get pissed off.
Cris said:
Don’t they know to infringe on copyright laws you have to say it’s yours?
It's a common misconception that a work has to be registered with the copyright office or have the © symbol to be copyrighted. In the U.S. a work is copyrighted as soon as created in "fixed form". That means as soon as something is written - on paper or in electronic form, the author holds the copyright*. (i.e., of course Victoria was right)

* with a few exceptions, of course
 
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NancyMehl

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cris_robins said:
Had I known the response to my post would have generated the interest in our agency that it has, I would have done this years ago!

Our phones are ringing off the hook, our e-mail inbox is being flooded with submissions, and the hits to our site are going through the roof. Some of those who you turned away months ago are even coming back! And we welcome all of them for consideration.

The responses are all positive! Some of the responses we are getting include:

n You ONLY charge $3,250? My last agent charged me much, much more!

What the heck are you smoking, lady?? My agent doesn't charge me anything. She makes money for ME!!

Maybe all your happy clients should contact me. I could steer them to someone who actually has sales...

Sheesh. Unbelievable!

Nancy
 

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cris_robins said:
Had I known the response to my post would have generated the interest in our agency that it has, I would have done this years ago!

Our phones are ringing off the hook, our e-mail inbox is being flooded with submissions, and the hits to our site are going through the roof. Some of those who you turned away months ago are even coming back! And we welcome all of them for consideration.
...
With grace,

Cris Robins

This seems a little hard to believe.
 

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Our phones are ringing off the hook, our e-mail inbox is being flooded with submissions, and the hits to our site are going through the roof. Some of those who you turned away months ago are even coming back! And we welcome all of them for consideration.


Oh, sure.

Cris, if the phone is ringing, it's a collection agency again.

As I said in a previous post, you are certifiably insane.

The good news is, you have so many alter-egos, you'll have someone to talk to in jail.
 

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I think that Cris is confusing copyright infringement with plagiarism. Or rather, she seems to be saying that only plagiarism or theft counts as copyright violation. But publishing someone else's work without their permission is also copyright violation, whether you claim it as yours or leave their name on it.

Yet another example of the expertise available to writers at the Robins Literary Agency.

- Victoria