She’s dead.
How so?
In the worst sort of way.
Was she …
No, natural causes.
And will you respect her last wishes?
We have, her vagina was transplanted to a woman in Ohio.
I have it on good authority that it was still in good working order.
It was, let’s just say it was rarely half empty.
I once did accidently spy upon it.
And what was your impression?
I mistook it for a large house cat.
Static electricity may have played a role in that deception given her love for carpets.
When is the memorial service?
Tuesday.
Will Dick be there?
Yes, and the Johnsons too.
How is Dick?
Dick is Dick.
So many memories.
Are there any take aways from this tragic loss?
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
So true.
How so?
In the worst sort of way.
Was she …
No, natural causes.
And will you respect her last wishes?
We have, her vagina was transplanted to a woman in Ohio.
I have it on good authority that it was still in good working order.
It was, let’s just say it was rarely half empty.
I once did accidently spy upon it.
And what was your impression?
I mistook it for a large house cat.
Static electricity may have played a role in that deception given her love for carpets.
When is the memorial service?
Tuesday.
Will Dick be there?
Yes, and the Johnsons too.
How is Dick?
Dick is Dick.
So many memories.
Are there any take aways from this tragic loss?
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
So true.
