Internet Grammar Hall of Shame

Matera the Mad

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Ever read a sentence so badly constructed that it makes you want to wash your eyes out with soap? See word usage so stupid that you lose your faith in humanity for the rest of the day?

Well, there's not much we can do about it, but we can blow off a few puffs of steam. :)

This is a thread for posting hideous things found on websites. Paste your dreadful examples so we can all have a bitter laugh at the expense of (anonymous) bloggers and journalists. Let's see who can find the Worst of the Web!


Please don't post links or name the site or the person responsible for the blooper.


Here's a good example of a bad example:

"...more people are killed every year sitting on the beach by falling coconuts than those by sharks..."

:roll:
 

iLion

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Here's one I found mentioned elsewhere:

“The soldier was discovered with a ballistically-induced aperture in the subcutaneous environment. He had experienced a terminal episode.”
 

Myrealana

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Not on the internet, but for a data glossary I'm developing for work:

"Gross amount of calculated gross distribution calculated from FEE_DSTR_AMT gross volume."

So, it's gross, and calculated. Anything else I should know?
 

Physsica

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One from the news today... The car killed [her] dead
 
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Maxx B

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Found this comment on a YouTube video.

'make a video on the fact where overpopulated, if we cure cancer we will be way to overpopulated wich could destroy the world.'
 

Nymtoc

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"For his book,...interviewed dozens of...acquaintances and poured over thousands of...documents."

What did he pour over them--coffee or daiquiris?
 

Matera the Mad

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The best sense is made by correct usage. A misplaced adjective modifies the wrong word. THAT is why it is wrong, and doesn't work outside of a slipshod conversational context. Like in writing....
 

StuckInMyHead

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What bugs me is the number of times I see the wrong version of a word, like "there" instead of "their", as in "I liked there dance routine."

I'm not sure if it's a sloppy mistake or if most people really don't know how to spell anymore.
It makes me wonder what kids are learning these days in school?
 

Matera the Mad

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Merciless jaws...adjective is used for the animal that controls those jaws. Jaws can be strong or fragile.

There goes the whole shebang. No more fierce winds, biting cold, soaring arches (I mean architectural components, not my feets), or unwelcoming furniture. Goodbye, colorful world.

No, a real boner would be something like "Snapping its jaws shut, the goat escaped the crocodile's merciless teeth with a desperate leap."

Anyway, the quibble stumbles because animals are no more merciless than their body parts. Mercy is a moral quality, and we humans invented morality. We also project it onto everything. You are wrongly accusing an innocent word of modifying the wrong noun, when the poor word has nothing but good intentions and is only following orders.


Misplaced modifiers
are merciless destroyers of sense.
 

jerrimander

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this looked like fun until I saw the splainin. i'll keep an eye on it though.
 

jerrimander

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seen in a weekend ad:

THOUGH EVERY PRECAUTION IS TAKEN, ERROR IN PRICES AND/OR SPEC MAKE OCCUR.

good to see you guys on top of things, proofing department.
 

Nymtoc

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"My finance and I would both like to know if and when my body hair will ever stop spreading."

I have seen "finance"--when fiancé or fiancée is intended--more times than I can count. Has the anticipation of marriage become inextricably connected to money? :roll:
 
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Nymtoc

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"It seams as though Palin is just more audacious than the rest of her Republican brethren."

Hmm. Is she stitching seams in a patriotic new American flag, or could she be doing something seamy, or...
 

Drachen Jager

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There's a fairly large agency that used to call themselves the "premiere" agency (for their specialist field).

I pointed out the error in my query letter.

My query was rejected, but the error was later fixed.
 

Drachen Jager

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A lot of URLs have grammar problems as well due to the lack of spaces.

Take penisland.com for instance. It's not pornographic, or even urological, it's the website for a stationary store.

therapistfinder.com is another good one. That's where you go to find psychological help.
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6378
 

Drachen Jager

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"the only visible change is a clear, opaque liquid"

So... which is it?
 

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"As a child, she studied acting in Phoenix and was known for her scene-stealing comedy antics even at that early age. At age 15, the family relocated to Monrovia, California...."

There's nothing quite so nice as a 15-year-old family. ;)
 

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"There first film, The Lady in Question had them as featured players."

They're they go again. That kind of error is always cropping up on the Internet, here or their. :ROFL:
 
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