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- Apr 5, 2009
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- janohara.net
(((vfury))) My first job as a doctor was with an abusive male. At the time I was overwhelmed with my new responsibilities, and I couldn't see the forest for the trees. It took too long for my female partner and I to develop ladyballs, but when we did, we never looked back. I'd suggest you and M find another place to rent then give your landlord an ultimatum, assuming you want to remain in your present location. Either his son leaves or you both do on the same day. In some ways, if you're going to worry about him having continued access to the house even after he vacates, you might be better to simply leave. Either way, do NOT take on guilt/shame/smallness about this. I agree 100% that he is abusive and won't change.
ETA: I joined that practice because one owner was a good man. He's been my preceptor. When he was around, the abusive guy, with the Napoleonic complex, was docile and respectful. But he'd driven out many people before me, and many after. I never spoke about what he did in public, but my new partners figured out his game quite fast when we had to share a call group. (One said of him, "XX only proves that a bad sh*t always floats to the top.")
Also, this guy had reason to be depressed in that he drove away all reasonable people and intimidated the rest. He was feared, not loved or admired. But again, this is classic abuser dynamics. Bully people > feel bad > short-term reformed behavior > escalate the cycle. Doesn't excuse their behavior.
ETA: I joined that practice because one owner was a good man. He's been my preceptor. When he was around, the abusive guy, with the Napoleonic complex, was docile and respectful. But he'd driven out many people before me, and many after. I never spoke about what he did in public, but my new partners figured out his game quite fast when we had to share a call group. (One said of him, "XX only proves that a bad sh*t always floats to the top.")
Also, this guy had reason to be depressed in that he drove away all reasonable people and intimidated the rest. He was feared, not loved or admired. But again, this is classic abuser dynamics. Bully people > feel bad > short-term reformed behavior > escalate the cycle. Doesn't excuse their behavior.
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