Last Movie You Watched...

Last watched: Repomen. Expectedly gory and disgusting, somewhat predictable, but quite unexpectedly hilarious. God, I love Jude Law. He does affable psychopath SO well.

I also wrote a thing about Carrie, the 2013 version, and its color symbolism.

Last watched: Dracula Untold. Wow. *fans self* Wow. I would have liked to see more of Vlad actually becoming this amazing, bloodlusty warrior type, since this is supposed to be an ORIGIN story after all. But . . . nope, not complaining. This movie is inarguably silly but SWOOOON I WANT MOAR!!! Also: Tywin Lannister is Caligula. TYWIN LANNISTER! That's frickin' BRILLIANT! Not that it's ever explicitly stated--he's listed in the credits as "Master Vampire"--but nah, he's totally Caligula, and I looooove it. Blatant sequel-hook ending was perfect. Could only have been more perfect if they'd set it in Victorian England, because I would *love* to see this incarnation of Dracula fuck around with Jonathan Harker, but I'm still ready to buy my ticket for the next one, like, right now.

My daughter Thea's on a Tinker Bell kick. She's been watching her movies over and over again lately. Last one was this morning: Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue. Thea's sick and at home, so I'm sure I'll see a number of the other ones today, too.

Just watched The Maze Runner and was pretty much entertained throughout, although the ending had me fairly confused. I'm guessing the novel probably explains in a little more depth! *heads to library...*

How To Train Your Dragon 2. I never got the chance to see it back when it was in theatres, so I watched it online and... It was awesome. (as expected)

Last watched: Interview With the Vampire. Again. Not technically on my marathon--just a palate cleanser between Wes Craven movies. I decided to watch his ENTIRE Dracula 2000 trilogy. I'll . . . let you know whether that was a good idea or not after the weekend. For what it's worth, the second one was much better than expected. Chris Hunter (aka Poor Man's Benedict Cumberbatch) is trying so hard to be a suave, sexy badass vampire hunter, and he's SO BAD at it, it's kind of hilarious.

Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac. Interesting but too long (Vol I and II both clock in at 2 hours). He really could have made one, 3 hour long film and it would've been just as effective.

@Calla Lily: "Forgettable" is the word for it. The second one was just campy enough to keep me interested; the third was ploddingly mediocre and try-too-hard. How the hell'd they convince Rutger Hauer to be part of that? That just amazes me.

Last watched: Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula, this made-for-tv thing that was actually quite well done. Had the same guy who played Dracula in that one episode of Buffy, too, which was fun. I mean, in a spot-the-actor way--the actor himself is rather dull. He has one setting, and it's Gloomy. Which fits the tone most of the time, but still. Nice attempt at creating a "historical" account of Vlad the Impaler, although I'm sure it's not as accurate as it wants us to think it is.

Tried to watch Dracula: Untold and got about thirty minutes into it before grabbing a rusty spoon and carving my right eye out.

Once the pain went down to a manageable level, I attempted to watch Jinn, some really shitty movie about a family curse and a way to solve it from destroying humanity...or something like that. I managed to make it through forty minutes before my spleen suffered the same fate as my eye, and I also took out my appendix as atonement for watching this drek.

Finally, with all hope lost, I put in a DVD of Kung-Fu Panda 2 for me and my children to laugh over and bodily and mental integrity were both restored.

Jinn looked bloody awful--poor attempt to remake Warlock, which should really never be done, because damn. I did unapologetically love Dracula Untold though. It's barely a vampire movie, let alone a Dracula movie, but it has a very pretty man with a very big sword. I had similar thoughts about Pompeii.

Last watched: The Monster Squad. Somehow, this didn't go down in history the way Lost Boys and The Gate and Fright Night did, presumably because it's a kids horror movie without any legit horror. That formula worked exactly once, in Hocus Pocus. Here, it's a good try, and plenty entertaining, had some fun, memorable moments, but nah--not *really* the 80s cult classic it wants to be.

Willow Creek (a Bigfoot movie/documentary)
...that final scene....*screams*

Last watched: The Possession. Meh. Not the worst I've seen this year, but considering the stinkers I've sat through, that's not saying much. The Idiot Ball was passed generously from one character to another, depending on who needed to overlook something obvious in any given scene. Casting Matisyahu as the exorcist wasn't a bad idea though--hey, your movie needs an Orthodox Jew, you get an actual Orthodox to play the part. Why not?

One more thing though: Hey, Hollywood, how about let's stop this trend of having the parents go through a divorce at the beginning of the film, show us how the kids really want them to get back together, and somehow the supernatural trauma they all go through makes them realize The Important Things and thus they're magically back together by the end of the movie. Can we not do that? Anymore? Ever? Speaking as a child of divorced parents who entertained this fantasy multiple times as a kid, because that shit never happens. Seeing it play out in this exact way over and over on screen is starting to piss me off.

I watched Lucy recently which I enjoyed more than I thought I would.

Mahogany, the next movie that was supposed to help propel Diana Ross to super actress stardom.

Opening credits with theme song that was more popular than movie (happens a lot), Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Woman from the Chicago ghetto lands modeling contract. Meets Billy Dee Williams. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Decides to use modeling contract as a way to start her own design house. Conquers fashion world and everybody loves her. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Meets benefactor who buys insanely hideous gown at auction for insanely hideous price (in Italian lira, but still). Goes insane with new life and Billy Dee Williams tries to fit into new life. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Billy Dee Williams is unimpressed and goes back to Chicago to run for congress. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Anthony Perkins kills himself and almost kills her during photo shoot. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Benefactor finally sets her up with fashion house. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Thinks she might have found happiness and success but goes insane and begins treating workers like automatons. First design show is inexplicably an insane success (trivia: Diana Ross designed some of the outfits shown on stage). Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Benefactor decides to collect on unspoken "debt". Keeps dignity intact when benefactor decides she's right and he can't collect "debt" with a clear conscience. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?) Goes back to Chicago and meets up with Billy Dee Williams and HEA because a woman is never a true success without a man. Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To?)

Last watched: Martha Marcy May Marlene. I think it was Captain Awkward who referred to this as a "horror movie about PTSD." Seems apt, so I'm gonna go with that too. Very disturbing. Very well done, but hard to recommend because of reasons.

Piranha 3DD. I guess I should have been warned by the title, but the only thing I noticed at the time was the 'piranha' bit. Oh wow. And my mom was watching too. What gratuitousness. The blood and gore was meh. The boobs weren't amazing. The story was 'haha, what story?'. It wasn't even that long (83 minutes), but I felt cheated. The only good parts were Christopher Lloyd's and David Hasselhoff's.

Fifth Element for the bazillionth time. I freaking love that movie.

Last watched: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. *siiiiiiiigh* Okay, Public Service Announcement time. Might as well get out my megaphone. *tap tap* {{{{MY FELLOW HORROR FANS. FROM NOW ON, I AM TRUSTING MY OWN INSTINCTS. IF I SEE A TRAILER AND I THINK THE RESULTING MOVIE IS GOING TO BE SHIT, I WILL NOT WATCH IT EVEN IF THE REVIEWS & RECOMMENDATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHOSE OPINIONS I NORMALLY TRUST AND RESPECT ARE BOTH AMAZING. IF I PERSONALLY THINK IT MIGHT BE SHIT, I WILL IGNORE YOU.}}}} Not making that mistake again. I said it looked like a cheaper, more anachronistic version of Terry Gilliam's The Brothers Grimm and that's exactly what it is, down to the Action Girl eventually needing to be rescued. Shame, shame on ALL of you who told me to give this monstrosity the time of day. That said--I need to see Gemma Arterton in more things, if only to listen to her voice. I don't know what it is, but I could listen to her read the dictionary. Yeah, that's all I have to say here. NEXT!

Filth. Kind of felt like one of those films that borders on too many genres at once and leaves you wondering what you're watching. Not quite serious enough for drama, gritty enough for crime, funny enough for (black) comedy. I enjoyed it, just felt a bit 'Huh, okay then' at the end. James McAvoy was fantastic in it, though.

Just saw 12 Years A Slave last night and cried my eyes out at the end. A movie hasn't made me cry in a LONG time.

Calla Lily said:

The only saving grace to that movie is Frank Langella. I swooned over him when I was in HS.

A theater friend at the time said that he saw Langella perform the role on stage. When he chomped on Lucy the first time, they were in a bed and he was over her on hands and knees. He did a take to the audience right before he fanged her and women in the audience were baring their necks and shouting, "Bite me! Right here!" You have to be an excellent actor not to break character during that.

Click to expand...

Ha! That's funny. I'm sure they learn how to ignore distractions though.