My-Spouse-is-a-Vegetarian Support Group

I'm pretty talented, it's true scroll down, lol

Haggis said:

Perhaps if we wrapped it in bacon....

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solid advice!

cornflake said:

I don't think it's necessarily about pushing one another to be veg or not, but there are some people for whom it just wouldn't work well.

No one is cooking meat in my house (or bringing it in or etc.). When outside, obviously, adults are free to eat whatever they want, but not in my house. It's not in a contentious way, just is what it is.

I've known other people who would have trouble eating a vegetarian diet, not for a physical reason, but because they prefer mostly meat. They move in with a vegetarian and everyone is always cooking either two things, or for themselves only, and not sharing meals and it can become contentious or whatever.

Some people live in that mixed veg/not situation fine, and eat mostly veg meals, one will grill chicken and stick it on top of whatever, and they're both cool with it. Some people aren't though, even if they don't want to change the partner's diet.

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I can see how that might get contentious. Personally I don't think I'd mind not being able to eat meat in the house. When I was with that ex I can count the number of times I had meat in the house on one hand throughout the whole year. Now, carbs, on the other hand...try telling me I can't have carbs in the house and There Shall Be Words. And by words I mean hippo rampage.

Haggis said:

... but kale is a tad bitter for me. I can eat it but it's not a favorite.

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Ahhhh, Mon Cherie...

The key to removing the "bitter" from kale is to add a pinch of sugar.

*Lurve me some Kale Jazz Hands*

Sauted in olive oil with garlic and salt, lemon juice at the end. Oh my, that's good.

I shall have to try all your guys' kale recipes. My parents always made a sort of kale stew we here simply call 'kale' and it looks like this and this. Ugh. Not at all vibrant and colorful like when I google some other kale dishes.

At least she's not a vegan.

No fish or anything? Not even bivalves? That sucks. I'd work on her about that. There isn't much in terms of brains or pain sensors (or anything else justifying vegetarianism from an ethical standpoint) separating bivalves and some of the other "foods without faces" from the billions of yeast I slaughter every time I make bread.

MookyMcD said:

At least she's not a vegan.

No fish or anything? Not even bivalves? That sucks. I'd work on her about that. There isn't much in terms of brains or pain sensors (or anything else justifying vegetarianism from an ethical standpoint) separating bivalves and some of the other "foods without faces" from the billions of yeast I slaughter every time I make bread.

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You'd work on her? Seriously?

Being vege isn't just about food with faces. It's her choice. It's not up to you.

MookyMcD said:

At least she's not a vegan.

No fish or anything? Not even bivalves? That sucks. I'd work on her about that. There isn't much in terms of brains or pain sensors (or anything else justifying vegetarianism from an ethical standpoint) separating bivalves and some of the other "foods without faces" from the billions of yeast I slaughter every time I make bread.

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By all means, mansplain it to her. I think I'd pay to see that conversation.

If you see no difference between a single-celled organism and a shrimp, fish, or even an ambulatory (for lack of a better word) bivalve, that's your perception. It's also your perception that your version of difference is what should inform others' ethical choices.

Or, perhaps, Peter Singer should explain.

Let's avoid the food fights, folks.

Thanks

MookyMcD said:

At least she's not a vegan.

No fish or anything? Not even bivalves? That sucks. I'd work on her about that. There isn't much in terms of brains or pain sensors (or anything else justifying vegetarianism from an ethical standpoint) separating bivalves and some of the other "foods without faces" from the billions of yeast I slaughter every time I make bread.

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mirandashell said:

You'd work on her? Seriously?

Being vege isn't just about food with faces. It's her choice. It's not up to you.

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This, exactly.

I'm an omnivore, and so is Mr. Putt, but if he were to turn vegetarian for any reason, I would not "work on" him, and I sure as hell hope he wouldn't "work on" me. It's his choice and I would be supportive of it. I really don't understand why some people might see their spouses choosing to turn vegetarian as a personal affront or something to "work on" or convert or whatever.

I once dated a guy whose parents hated each other, partly because the mom turned vegetarian after they got married. Whenever we wanted to go out for family meals, when we tried to choose a restaurant, his dad would say, "Why don't you ask HER (the mom)? SHE's the vegetarian. SHE's the one you have to adjust your plans to fit." I mean...really, dude?? We were in Socal. Every frikkin' place had vegetarian options. It wasn't as though her being vegetarian would have any impact on where we ate, and she even cooked meat for the family, but even after fifteen years, he still held a grudge and he still "worked on" her relentlessly.

There are many reasons why someone might choose to not eat animal products. There's health, an area I firmly believe differs from person to person. For myself, a vegetarian diet isn't a healthy one, because I tend to substitute meat with...well, more carbs. I've tried plenty of diets, including vege, vegan, low carb, high fiber and so on...and the only thing that works for me is plain old portion control. I let myself eat whatever I want, but I am conscious of portion sizes. That's been what I'm happiest and healthiest with. But it doesn't work for Mr. Putt. He feels better when he's on a high protein, low carb diet, and that's fine. It works for him. I also have vege friends who are perfectly healthy, and omni friends who are also perfectly healthy. When it comes to diets, I don't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach, so I don't buy people who insist that one diet is healthier than the other.

Then there is the moral issue. Some people just don't like the idea of eating meat. Why is that a problem to you? You don't have a problem with eating meat, and that's fine. I don't either. But I don't understand why you'd feel the need to argue with a vegetarian about why what they're doing is wrong. Does it somehow hurt you to see someone abstain from meat? Is it somehow offensive to your sensibilities, such that you need to justify it by telling them just how much living creatures they're really killing by *gasp* eating bread?

Sorry, this may have been harsh, but really...seeing this type of advice...I mean, "work on her"? Seriously? Just, no.

MookyMcD said:

At least she's not a vegan.

No fish or anything? Not even bivalves? That sucks. I'd work on her about that. There isn't much in terms of brains or pain sensors (or anything else justifying vegetarianism from an ethical standpoint) separating bivalves and some of the other "foods without faces" from the billions of yeast I slaughter every time I make bread.

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Ummm, no.

Long time reefer (coral reef hobbyist) here.

Fish and inverts have pain receptors, they have brains. I've had fish and shrimp that recognized me, came to the top of the tank when I went near it the same way a dog goes to the door when you get home. Many clams will live and grow for years and years. Even corals eat, poop, and spawn.

*I'm not a vegetarian for any great political, religious, or grand reasons, I think it's gross to eat flesh (doesn't bother me if someone else eats it, I just don't want to), but your info on sea critters is wrong.

sunandshadow said:

(As an aside from cooking, but relevant to writing at least...)
I keep being surprised how the difficulties between vegetarians and non-vegetarians never seem to pop up in fiction. Neither seriously nor played for humor. I've seen a few books where the topic is mentioned briefly then immediately glossed over. Have never seen a book where people on one side are pressuring someone on the other side, and this is a thing that happens all the time in reality! Is it a taboo topic, or just boring?

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In my novel there is a female characer, Dhana, who is a vegetarian and one of the members of the Galatic Seven, Stratton Jones, teases her often about it. If he is eating something with meat, he will be sure to eat it in front of her. He's a real jerk as you can see. I wanted the two characters to be edgy with each other and that is one of the things that came out. I did not put much thought into it, really. But, I never thought about the fact that you didn't see it much in media.

Closed, pending Room Mod review.

The mod-room review is complete and the thread stays closed... and the next time a mod asks y'all to play nice, PLAY FRICKIN' NICE.