"Old" People Writing for Teens V

Sage

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Cheering you all on!
Here's my attitude this week: I'm going to get so much done when I send this book in to the editor. So much reading, so much cleaning, so much working out, so much chorus rehearsing.

I'm doing a final read-through, and then I'm sending it in!
 

BriMaresh

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I'm with the "I would make a terrible parent, so no, I have no interest in reproducing" camp. I'm also in the "I write 2,000 words every day regardless of everything else, and if I have something going on I plan accordingly and make up for it/prepare for it in advance" camp. It's a nice place for people who do well with schedules and structure.

Bonsai are nifty, but I alas do not have any interest beyond looking at them.

Also, hello, all! It's been... well, probably a few years at this point, since I actively posted in the YA forum. I've been lurking, but that's not quite the same thing, is it.
 

Hapax Legomenon

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Yes well... I bought a bonsai tree at the Japanese festival here and am doing research on how to care for it. I have plans but I kind of wanted to talk to someone who had first-hand experience...

The actual bonsai is in my blog.
It doesn't look like much but it hasn't been trained yet.
 

JKRowley

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I interviewed a bonsai guy for a story once. I don't do it, but think it is beautiful and takes some knowledge of plants as to what you can plant that can stay small while you trim it frequently.

I am the only parent among my siblings. They all chose to pass or were not able to reproduce.

I just have to say, the majority of my critique group, and almost any other woman writer I run into either does not have children or the children are out of the house. Nothing gets done with kids in the house, except raising kids. It was ok when they were small and went to bed at 8 p.m. and slept 12 hours. I am smothered now that they are older. It is SO hard to find time for my craft.
 
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Thanks for that. I've had some difficult conversations with people about my decision not to bear children. Mostly from strangers. My family understands because I've always said I didn't want kids, but it took a while before my husband's mother quit trying to lay on the guilt trip. (I did tell him as soon as we started dating, so she had three years to adjust to the idea before we got married). I meet people and one of their first questions is "do you have kids?" followed by "well, when you do have kids." They just assume I'll change my mind when I "grow up," even though I'm 31.

The worst was this man at Chik-Fil-A. I was in the corner booth with a book, but he started talking to me. I'm too polite to just tell someone to bugger off, although I wish I had. He asked the standard "do you have kids." When I said no, he asked if I planned to spawn. When I said no again, he said: "Oh, so you can't have any. Are you infertile? You know there's some great treatments these days. My wife had trouble." When I picked my jaw up off the floor, I told him I don't want any. He looks like I'd sprouted antlers and started dancing a jig on the table. He kept talking about the joy of kids and how I would wake up to it one day, but I needed to get a move on before I dried up. I quit going to that location because he's a regular.

It's for some people and not for others. I just wish more people got that. I'm the product of an unplanned pregnancy, so I know first-hand what it's like to grow up with a mother who didn't want you, but didn't want to abort you either. My mother still resents the hell out of me, even though she had two more kids, because I'm the one who ruined her life, who threw off her plans, who kept her from greatness (that's how she sees it). I don't want to put even a fraction of that feeling on a kid.


My first thought was, that's so weird, since many of my friends and friends of friends are on the "no kids, maybe won't even get married" train (perhaps there's a generational gap at work here). And I mean both my male and female friends, and I, who am male, am also on the "no kids" train. Maybe I and my friends just haven't reached the point in life where people really start to make note of whether someone has kids or not. Also, my residence and my social circles are fairly liberal, so maybe that also has an effect.


My second thought was, what rational, normal human being thinks that's an acceptable conversation to force on a complete stranger?!!! Even more so because they guy is married, why is he trying to chat up women at a fast food joint? Some of my female friends would probably have slugged the guy, or something. Yuck.
 

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Stiger,

We are in the same boat! I am 31, and my husband and I have no plans to have children. We have been married for 9 years, and everyone keeps saying, "what are you waiting for?" and my response is always "hell to freeze over." There are many reasons why we have decided not to, but I'm perfectly okay with everyone thinking that it's because I'm selfish. Maybe I am. It's better that I know that than to have children and be a selfish mother! :)
 

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Probably a stupid and out-of-place question, but does anybody here care for bonsai?

I had one named Jimmy the Ficus. He was a Fukien Tea bonsai and the best roommate I've ever had.
Last month he died valiantly of neglect and general mishandling by me. RIP Jimmy 2013-2014
(This is him)
 

Hapax Legomenon

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I had a bonsai that looked dead when I bought it, but I brought it back to life. Unfortunately, I left my window open one night and it got cold which killed it. =/

Oh no! My plant is tropical so I need to be careful I guess... at least I'm not in the habit of opening windows...

I had one named Jimmy the Ficus. He was a Fukien Tea bonsai and the best roommate I've ever had.
Last month he died valiantly of neglect and general mishandling by me. RIP Jimmy 2013-2014
(This is him)

What did you do D:

I'm wondering if he needed a larger planter?
 

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I had a great couple of writing weeks, but now I can't get into the groove with my WIP. I'm not certain which scene comes next and I haven't had a quiet moment to figure it out. Argh!

My first thought was, that's so weird, since many of my friends and friends of friends are on the "no kids, maybe won't even get married" train (perhaps there's a generational gap at work here). And I mean both my male and female friends, and I, who am male, am also on the "no kids" train. Maybe I and my friends just haven't reached the point in life where people really start to make note of whether someone has kids or not. Also, my residence and my social circles are fairly liberal, so maybe that also has an effect.


My second thought was, what rational, normal human being thinks that's an acceptable conversation to force on a complete stranger?!!! Even more so because they guy is married, why is he trying to chat up women at a fast food joint? Some of my female friends would probably have slugged the guy, or something. Yuck.

I called my husband afterward, more shocked than furious. He was an older man who will talk to anyone, so I think maybe he's lonely? I've seen him other times (I've literally hidden behind my book then gotten the hell out of there), and he talks to everybody who stands still long enough. He just doesn't know the limits of normal conversation with strangers. I'm not about to teach him, though!

I think it's partially a Southern thing. Hubs and I were at Waffle House a few weeks ago and this older couple was in the booth behind us talking to the waitress. Asking her all these personal questions about where she's in school and her major and where she lives. I made the comment to Hubs that anyone under the age of 60 would come across creepy at that point, but it's just what old folks do in the South. You smile and nod and slip away as quick as possible.
 

jtrylch13

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It's better that I know that than to have children and be a selfish mother! :)

Amen! Wish more people would realize this.


As to the bonsai, I had one once. It lasted for a few years and then died. I do not have a green thumb, so I don't even know what I did to kill it, but it was so adorable. I have this silly love affair with small plants (once had a star cactus named Asa. She died too) Haven't inflicted my "love" on any other unsuspecting plants in years!
 

jtrylch13

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Liosse de Velishaf - I must apologize. I assumed you were female because of the "HellNo Kitty" avatar. I will endeavor to think of you correctly in the future! :)
 

Becca C.

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He was an older man who will talk to anyone, so I think maybe he's lonely? I've seen him other times (I've literally hidden behind my book then gotten the hell out of there), and he talks to everybody who stands still long enough. He just doesn't know the limits of normal conversation with strangers. I'm not about to teach him, though!

Ughhh, there are a couple of these kinds of guys in my town. My boyfriend and I know them all and have developed elaborate escape plans :p There's this one guy who comes into my work every day and makes stupid jokes and asks personal questions. I've worn a claddagh ring on my left ring finger since I was 15, and when I was 16 this guy thought I was married and asked what my husband's name is. I said Derek, so now my boyfriend has to remember to say his name is Derek if that guy ever asks someday. ARGH my life is complicated!
 

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Stiger,

We are in the same boat! I am 31, and my husband and I have no plans to have children. We have been married for 9 years, and everyone keeps saying, "what are you waiting for?" and my response is always "hell to freeze over." There are many reasons why we have decided not to, but I'm perfectly okay with everyone thinking that it's because I'm selfish. Maybe I am. It's better that I know that than to have children and be a selfish mother! :)

I make sure I never ask colleagues, or people I don't know as well as my close friends, about any plans they may or may not have when it comes to children. Once my husband and I decided to have them, it took three years and some assistance to get pregnant. Not a good time to be asked questions about this!

It's no more selfish to not have children than to have them. I mean, if someone asked me why I decided to have children, I'm not sure I could give a very good answer, even.

When we first moved into our house, years and years ago, the first thing the elderly neighbours said was to tell them when we were having the christening. ?!?! I had the baby seven years later, hahaha. And we're not religious so had no christening either.

Oh, Becca - Claddagh ring! I don't wear a wedding band, but I've told my husband I might consider getting a proper Claddagh ring if we ever go back to Ireland. Lived there for two years during our student days, so it holds a very special place in my heart.
 

Becca C.

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Oh, Becca - Claddagh ring! I don't wear a wedding band, but I've told my husband I might consider getting a proper Claddagh ring if we ever go back to Ireland. Lived there for two years during our student days, so it holds a very special place in my heart.

I love my claddagh ring! I've seen some chunkier, more new age-y ones, but mine is really dainty. White gold with a diamond chip in the middle of the heart. It's my prized possession :) but I worry now about when I do get married and have to move it to another finger so I can wear an actual wedding ring... sigh...
 

RevanWright

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What did you do D:

I'm wondering if he needed a larger planter?

It depends on the type and how you want to let it grow. I never changed Jimmy's pot.

Basically, Texas summers are stupidly hot, and I let him get a lot of sunlight and forgot to water him as much as I should have, so he was a little dried out and sick. Then I had him on the kitchen counter one day, and I was walking around in the dark in the middle of the night trying to get to the fridge, and I hit him with my elbow and knocked him onto the floor, where he spilled out of his pot along with most of his soil. I ordered a new bag of bonsai soil from Amazon, but it took 2 days to arrive and it had bugs in it that started eating him as soon as I replanted him. He died a week later, poor thing.

We had a burial. Jimmy's story is that he was a mob enforcer that came to live with me in witness relocation, so he was pretty tough. I thought it was only right that I tie him to a brick and toss him into the Trinity river after he died. He's in gangster bonsai Heaven now.
 

Stiger05

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I love my claddagh ring! I've seen some chunkier, more new age-y ones, but mine is really dainty. White gold with a diamond chip in the middle of the heart. It's my prized possession :) but I worry now about when I do get married and have to move it to another finger so I can wear an actual wedding ring... sigh...


I wore one for years and years. It's what I wanted for an engagement/wedding ring (heart out until you get married, then heart facing you), but Hubs insisted on a diamond and couldn't find one in his price range. (FWIW, I love the ring he got me. It's a stamping of an antique ring he found. It's unique and simple and gorgeous).

We went to Ireland on our honeymoon and visited Galway, where the Claddagh comes from. I don't wear many rings, but I did get a bracelet, and we got a wood carving that hangs over our front door.
 

CoffeeBeans

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RevanWright - as someone who has a sheriff badge on her corn plant, I could not love this story more. I'm sorry for Jimmy's loss, but now he sleeps with the fishes.

I know a married couple who had the worst fight of their relationship over a dead bonsai. He learned his husband killed a bonsai he'd gotten as a gift (long before they were together) through neglect, and they had a huge blow out about all the years of attention and care that had gone into it, etc etc etc. Still a sore point in their house.

Same here, Jtrylch13 - Sorry about that Mr. Liosse de Velishaf!

I'm finishing the WIP today. I think. At least I'm really really really close to it.
 

jtrylch13

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Oh, query writing,
How I hate thee.
Let me count the ways . . .
 

Becca C.

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It depends on the type and how you want to let it grow. I never changed Jimmy's pot.

Basically, Texas summers are stupidly hot, and I let him get a lot of sunlight and forgot to water him as much as I should have, so he was a little dried out and sick. Then I had him on the kitchen counter one day, and I was walking around in the dark in the middle of the night trying to get to the fridge, and I hit him with my elbow and knocked him onto the floor, where he spilled out of his pot along with most of his soil. I ordered a new bag of bonsai soil from Amazon, but it took 2 days to arrive and it had bugs in it that started eating him as soon as I replanted him. He died a week later, poor thing.

We had a burial. Jimmy's story is that he was a mob enforcer that came to live with me in witness relocation, so he was pretty tough. I thought it was only right that I tie him to a brick and toss him into the Trinity river after he died. He's in gangster bonsai Heaven now.

Okay, this is seriously adorable. You should write this into a YA novel someday! It seems like an awesome detail to flesh out a whacky YA parent! :)

In other news, I think I can safely announce that I have a new WIP in the works. I just hit 18k on it so I think this one will stick! I don't have a title yet but it's a YA contemp about a girl whose mother came from the FLDS, and they have to journey back to her roots to find her best friend. There's mystery and road trips and amazing mother/daughter relationships, and an almost entirely female cast. I'm so excited about it. The writing is coming incredibly easily, which is really really weird for me!
 

BriMaresh

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Oh, query writing,
How I hate thee.
Let me count the ways . . .
Ahh! But wuery writing is the best part of the process! You distill your genius, come away with the essence of what you've done. It's brilliant. Right up there with synopsis for showing you where you've erred, as well.
 

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Jimmy the gangster bonsai tree sounds as hard to kill as Rasputin. :D

I'm experiencing simultaneous exhaustion and elation as I charge ahead with my current manuscript. I should finish this month if I stay on target. Then I can begin yet another manuscript.
 

amlptj

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Jimmy the gangster bonsai tree sounds as hard to kill as Rasputin. :D

I'm experiencing simultaneous exhaustion and elation as I charge ahead with my current manuscript. I should finish this month if I stay on target. Then I can begin yet another manuscript.

keep pushing ahead! woot woot!