Limericks Still Live!

Sir_Nigel

aka Dylan di Vilde
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It feels kind of wrinkled and wet
She announced to the mystified Vet
And he shook his head
while grasping the bed
as she proffered her prim pampered pet


I saw a great parcel in dick
That image has just made me sick
it was really quite funny
and well worth the money
but now he’s banged up in the nick


I haven’t a clue what that meant
 

Nymtoc

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I haven’t a clue what that meant
But I'm sure t'was entirely bent
Consid'ring the source
 

flyingtart

Warning: may contain humour.
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I haven’t a clue what that meant
But I'm sure t'was entirely bent
Consid'ring the source
And the forum, of course
 

kenthepen

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I haven't a clue what that meant
But I'm sure 'twas entirely bent
Consid'ring the source
And the forum, of course
From Heaven 'twere not, but Hell-sent

A day like today ought to be
 

Nymtoc

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A day like today ought to be
Entirely allergy free
 

kenthepen

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A day like today ought to be
Entirely allergy free
And yet I am sneezing
nose running and wheezing
 

Sir_Nigel

aka Dylan di Vilde
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A day like today ought to be
Entirely allergy free
And yet I am sneezing
nose running and wheezing
I shouldn’t have jumped in the sea.


They say these are desperate times
 

Nymtoc

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They say these are desperate times
As sour as lemons or limes
 

flyingtart

Warning: may contain humour.
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They say these are desperate times
As sour as lemons or limes
But be of good cheer
 

Sir_Nigel

aka Dylan di Vilde
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They say these are desperate times
As sour as lemons or limes
But be of good cheer
There’s lots of fun here
 

Pthom

Word butcher
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They say these are desperate times
As sour as lemons or limes
But be of good cheer
There’s lots of fun here
To be happily found 'tween the lines!

The once ribald monk was forlorn
 

flyingtart

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The once ribald monk was forlorn
He'd lost his complete stock of porn
 

Nymtoc

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The once ribald monk was forlorn
He'd lost his complete stock of porn
"I'd download some more
 

kenthepen

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The once ribald monk was forlorn
He'd lost his complete stock of porn
"I'd download some more
When I hear Abbot snore
 

Nymtoc

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The once ribald monk was forlorn
He'd lost his complete stock of porn
"I'd download some more
When I hear Abbot snore
And I'd sin again. Oh, how I'm torn!"

I'm hoping to get a fresh start
 

kenthepen

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I'm hoping to get a fresh start
Begin Valentine's with a full heart
I give you my love,
An affectionate shove,
 

annetpfeffer

practical experience, FTW
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I'm hoping to get a fresh start
Begin Valentine's with a full heart
I give you my love,
An affectionate shove,
Dear, I'm happier when we're apart.


Don't give me this Valentine's crap
 

JoBird

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Don't give me this Valentine's crap
I'd just as soon take a long nap
 

Nymtoc

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Don't give me this Valentine's crap
I'd just as soon take a long nap
No roses for me
I'd rather eat brie
 

annetpfeffer

practical experience, FTW
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Don't give me this Valentine's crap
I'd just as soon take a long nap
No roses for me
I'd rather eat brie
Though one guy I'd willingly tap


The problem with him, though, is that