The Alpha Dog.

No. If it is Puppy's toy that came with her, then it belongs to her. By the same token, Badness' toys belong to him. And you decide when the playing stops.

But Rez is the expert. See what he says.

Some beta dogs are 'selfish'. In their minds, ALL the toys (and everything else) belong to them no matter whose it was to start with. (Except for an alpha's stuff -- they won't steal that.) Put two of that sort together and there will be no peace. It's really tough to teach against hardwired (inherited) behavior, especially if it's become habit as well. The chihuahua is basically a rat terrier (that's its function in Mexico), and terriers are very self-driven: I want, I get.

Here (given it's gone on a while and it's too late for an immediate negative consequence to have any effect) the best immediate solution is probably the same one used with kids fighting over toys -- when they argue, take the toys away and no one gets to play with 'em. If they can't play nice, they can't play with 'em at all. -- Truth is YOU 'own' the toys, but you graciously allow the dogs to play with your toys.

Sometimes you can get understanding with "This is name's toy" as you hand them out (make a production of that) but small dogs often don't see anything but that they want every toy in sight.

Another option which works better when you can't be there to supervise all the time and the dogs really need something to do, is to have more toys than they know what to do with. This is how I can get away with throwing fresh bones in with a group of dogs -- there's enough that there's always leftovers for greedy ones to repeatedly grab something.

If a dog is food-oriented, sometimes you can bribe them into trading the toy for a treat, but that runs up against the fact that in nature, the underling gives the treat to the boss (who may then choose to graciously share it with the underling). You can see how that leads to issues over who's in charge. And some dogs will learn to bully because they know it's going to be indirectly rewarded, and then you're worse off than before. (Yes, they do think that far. Anything a preschool human can think up, a dog can too. And as a good general rule, what works with preschoolers will work with dogs.)

Some dogs (mostly smaller ones) never mature past the juvenile instinct of "grab every tit you can and never let go", and this translates into toys as well as food. Very often feeding free-choice (dry food out all the time) will mitigate this, because the dog always feels sated and there's never hunger stress. Hunger stress can lead to all sorts of undesirable and/or aggressive behavior even in the nicest dogs, and exacerbates any hardwired negative traits. Toy dogs fed meals need to eat 4 times a day, but how many people do this? hardly anyone.

There are three basic social types in dogs. As previously noted they are born (inherited), not made. A given group can be all of one type; there does not need to be an alpha present (nor will some other dog turn into an alpha).

Alpha: they know their place in life. They never feel a need to assert dominance (fight, bully, defy authority), with dogs or humans. They have a lot of initiative and can be "too much dog" for a human who doesn't need a dog that wants to work, but give them the slightest bit of leadership and they will follow you anywhere.

Beta: these are the ones that fight, bully, disobey because they can, and otherwise try to exert dominance. Short-man's complex in a dog. Unfortunately this type is what the average person thinks is an 'alpha' but they are not. Betas always defer to any alphas that are present (including humans, which in my observation also sort into these three basic types). Betas come in a range from top-ranked totally-hotshit-all-the-time to submissive-acting sneak-biting fence-fighters, who only bully from behind the safety of a fence. (In a fight, the lower-ranked beta always loses.) These are typically the dogs that give non-assertive owners trouble, and require a lot more effort over and over because they're all about defying authority when they think they can do so. Train via the old-fashioned methods where you are the boss, end of discussion, and they'll generally be fine (and there are a lot of betas among high-end working dogs); but this modern-day feel-good and treat-based training encourages them to bully their owners (which is why today's pets exhibit so many behavioral issues that were seldom seen in the past). Betas tend to pick on anyone they perceive as an underling... including their owner.

Nobody: these are like an alpha, minus the initiative. They are usually ignored by alphas, and by most betas. (A few betas will attack nobodies.) Their reaction to being jumped by another dog is "Huh??" and they don't even think about 'owning' toys or food. They're the easiest for inexperienced owners to handle, because they don't argue and are happy just to follow along. By the same token they don't make the best working dogs, because they just don't have that extra go-gettum component.

Alphas and betas can be hard to distinguish as puppies, because some of the spectrum doesn't express until puberty. But you never want a puppy that refuses to lick your face (you may have to blow in a nobody's nose to get it started, ie. give it permission). Face-licking is strongly tied to desire to interact with humans. But you want moderate face-licking, not one that tries to scrub your face off. And never one that turns its head away and refuses to lick.

As a rule the alpha puppy on its back in your lap wants to lick your face with some enthusiasm, put its feet in your mouth (this is a distinct mannerism), and is never done interacting with people. But it doesn't force its way when you want it to stop (at least if you're halfway assertive).

Meanwhile the beta may nip your nose or or try to get away and is really more interested in pleasing itself -- would rather go play, not sit here quietly like the boring human wants. A low-end beta may just lie there stiffly and turn its head away from you (refuse to lick), but don't confuse that with a nobody who is waiting for permission to lick and is trying real hard to not show dominance. The nobody won't obviously turn away like it wants to leave.

And the nobody just lays there like "Hi, are you going to eat me? Okay!" and maybe does some tentative face-licking, tho it may be all raring to go when it perceives that you want it to do something (here, that is to lie quietly on its back in your lap). Basically, they naturally wait for permission from the leader, which makes them real easy to get along with.

It sounds like you're getting progress since the older dog is starting to wait for permission. Permission is a big deal here. The leader grants permission; the underling doesn't get to just take it. This applies to everything -- food, toys, who gets to go out the door first and who walks in front on the street (always the leader). YOU are the leader; neither of the dogs is.

That's interesting.

I've always had reservations about the 'treat' training. It seems to me that if you're not sure what you're doing you can easily reward the wrong behaviour and make the problems worse.

I don't use treat training. Mine work for me, not for bribes. The reward is the opportunity to work again, and to please me again. In fact once they have half a clue, "Good!" is a command (not 'praise') that means "Listen up, opportunity coming!" Even outlaws soon figure this out.

Another problem with food rewards is that when you have a dog that honestly believes you're in charge, you may have to starve it to get it to accept and respond to the treat. (Ever wonder why so many competition agility and obedience dogs are so thin??) And from a breeding standpoint, food rewards select against dogs that want to please humans first and foremost, without needing to be bribed. We've spent 10,000 years breeding the selfishness out of dogs, and now we're going backwards.

(I do fixit lessons for dogs used to dragging their owners around, most of whom have already been to a food-based class. I charge $150/hour, but it usually only takes one.)

My own dogs will not accept a food reward -- I can give them something just because ("graciously sharing"), but not as a reward. They'll turn their heads away, or unwillingly take the treat then drop it, because in their minds it's wrong (goes against how life works). This is not taught; they naturally do it. Had someone insistently offer a dog a treat at a show, and finally the dog looked at me like, "Boss, do I have to?" then gingerly took the treat and dropped it at my feet.

I need to get a video of my ridiculously-eager young dog who has taught herself heeling. She can do it well even with a dozen other dogs milling around, but she has never been on a leash, nor had any formal lessons. She just naturally does this out of sheer desire to work for me. (The mannerism is actually inherited; I've had multiple generations whose inclination was to heel without being taught. Couldn't lose Sting if I'd tried.)

Another problem with food rewards is that when you have a dog that honestly believes you're in charge, you may have to starve it to get it to accept and respond to the treat. (Ever wonder why so many competition agility and obedience dogs are so thin??) And from a breeding standpoint, food rewards select against dogs that want to please humans first and foremost, without needing to be bribed. We've spent 10,000 years breeding the selfishness out of dogs, and now we're going backwards.

Click to expand...

Wow. That articulates what I think much better than I ever have.