presentation email for PB

aperson

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An agent was seeking a query and the text for a picture book. I sent a short query. Then I presented the text. My text does not rhyme, but it has a certain flow in the way it's presented throughout the story.

Example:
The brown fox ran.
He ran this way
and that way.

This stanza will be repeated several times in the story. Should I have sent it as:

The brown fox ran. He ran this way and that way.

I want to send this to another agent but want to be correct in the format. I don't know if having the stanzas there would help or hinder the chances of an acceptance. I need another opinion. ~karen
 

aperson

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Maybe I explained this wrong since there are views but no replies. Should the entire text be written in a normal manuscript format as one does with submissions? I have read stickies.
ex: text text text and more text.
paragraph
The brown fox ran. He ran this way and that way.
paragraph
text text text and so forth.
Or can it contain the stanza.?
text text text
paragraph
The brown fox ran.
He ran this way
and that way.
paragraph
text text and so forth.
Any help would be most appreciated. ~karen
 

wallfull

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I'd go with stanzas, if you think that's the most effective way to present the text. That's what I've done with my PBs.

You probably know this, but just in case...Don't include illustration instructions unless they're not obvious from the text (i.e., the text says one thing and the illustration surprises the reader with something else).
 

aperson

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Thank you. I will send the text with the stanzas again.

I had found a couple other agents that my book fits in with their requirements. Agents/publishers accepting author/illustrator package are few and far between. I just wanted to make sure before I sent the text out again. I started with the agents. If those are a no (I have no expectations) then I will send to the two publishers I found.

After that, I might cry, but that is at least 4-5 months away. ~karen
 

Debbie V

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Karen, I bet it takes more than four to five months. I once waited over a year for an editor to get back to me.

Use stanzas where the text is poetry. Poetry does not need to rhyme. If part is prose, type it that way.
 

aperson

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Today the agent wrote back. They turned it down. Though the email sounded nice . Only took two weeks. I was brave. I didn't cry.

Today we have 10 inches of snow. Weather said 4. Weatherman said snow has now stopped. Weatherman has not looked out my window.

Today I put the car over the bank and stopped short of putting it in the creek. It may be there until spring.

One stupid chicken decided to leave the hen house and explore winter. She was taken away by a hawk.

I have had better days. ~karen
 

Morrell

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Aw, Karen. That does sound like a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Hope things take a turn for the better!
 

Debbie V

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Today is another day. I hope it's going much better.

Find another dozen agents and hit send. I hope the car has been rescued. Glad you didn't end up in the ditch.

Good luck as you march forward.