Does anyone know any links or have tips for writing a query for a thriller (even better, a spy thriller)? I've just been told that at the moment my query is flat, and wondering how I can charge it up.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Tips For Writing A Query For A Thriller?
- Thread starter gothicangel
- Start date
Ah. Guilty as charged. Sorry if I was a bit blunt in my crit. I had to have my tact gland removed many years ago, after an incident involving a fork, a badger and a trampoline (best not to ask)
Anyway, I'm sorry if I didn't expound on ways to crank it up. You don't see many queries for thrillers, so it's hard to know what works. But I think the main thing to include is a sense of danger. That's one of the defining characteristics of a thriller, along with the ticking clock. Thrillers typically have scads of tension created by high stakes and tight timelines. If so-and-so can't prevent such-and-such by teatime, the west coast is toast! sort of thing.
What you need to do, I think, is work out what the stakes are. What are the consequences of failure for your MC, and then ripple it outwards - consequences to nearest and dearest, consequences to society, consequences to history. That last one may be tricky, but it's what makes your setting so integral to the story, why this is a historical thriller. How is [whatever goal] important in the grand scheme of things - how might it change history if it happened differently?
But whatever the stakes, thrillers mean suspense, tension, excitement, danger. The query needs to make us feel those.
Good luck
Anyway, I'm sorry if I didn't expound on ways to crank it up. You don't see many queries for thrillers, so it's hard to know what works. But I think the main thing to include is a sense of danger. That's one of the defining characteristics of a thriller, along with the ticking clock. Thrillers typically have scads of tension created by high stakes and tight timelines. If so-and-so can't prevent such-and-such by teatime, the west coast is toast! sort of thing.
What you need to do, I think, is work out what the stakes are. What are the consequences of failure for your MC, and then ripple it outwards - consequences to nearest and dearest, consequences to society, consequences to history. That last one may be tricky, but it's what makes your setting so integral to the story, why this is a historical thriller. How is [whatever goal] important in the grand scheme of things - how might it change history if it happened differently?
But whatever the stakes, thrillers mean suspense, tension, excitement, danger. The query needs to make us feel those.
Good luck
Janet Reid once said (I tried to find it on her blog... but it's a big blog) that queries for thrillers need to thrill. Check QueryShark and see if you can spot the thrillers. They suck you in with the suspense and don't let you go until you want, need to request pages to find out more.
I'll also take a stab at critiquing your query letter -- point me to it if it's up in SYW, or send it via PM. My WIP is a Psych Thriller (if it wasn't a psych thriller, it'd be a thriller), and I'm gearing up to submit my query letter for the squirrels.
It's hard. But make it thrill.
I'll also take a stab at critiquing your query letter -- point me to it if it's up in SYW, or send it via PM. My WIP is a Psych Thriller (if it wasn't a psych thriller, it'd be a thriller), and I'm gearing up to submit my query letter for the squirrels.
It's hard. But make it thrill.
Like Kallithrix said - tension and personal stakes for the MC. I think immediate, vivid language and fairly short, choppy sentences are needed as well, to ratchet it up.
It might help to write a logline or boil it down to a single sentence and build from there.
It might help to write a logline or boil it down to a single sentence and build from there.
I took a look
Technically I would call your novel action or suspense, because a thriller has a ticking clock. But some people lump them all together.
It's distant because it's telling us what is happening to him with simple, factual statements, like a history book:
He is worried.
He is attacked.
He is presented with a choice.
He must fight.
He knows a war is festering with the Jews in the East
A brilliant hunter of men, he is sent amongst the elite of Roman society to expose an illegal Christian association
In possession of intelligence of a secret plot
Marcus must hunt out the conspirators.
Centurion Romulus Paulus is determined
Not one word about what he is feeling, 1st hand. Give us snippets of action that show what is happening. Show us the forces acting on him. If necessary, cut the scope down to a few vivid details supported by action.
One example. I don't care what Paulu is determined about. Show me a knife attack in a dark alley, with more to come.
I know, easy to say. And I've searched high and wide for successful thriller/suspense queries. There aren't many out there.
You gotta just keep trying. Took me years to write a decent query, and I don't know if I could even do it again.
Technically I would call your novel action or suspense, because a thriller has a ticking clock. But some people lump them all together.
It's distant because it's telling us what is happening to him with simple, factual statements, like a history book:
He is worried.
He is attacked.
He is presented with a choice.
He must fight.
He knows a war is festering with the Jews in the East
A brilliant hunter of men, he is sent amongst the elite of Roman society to expose an illegal Christian association
In possession of intelligence of a secret plot
Marcus must hunt out the conspirators.
Centurion Romulus Paulus is determined
Not one word about what he is feeling, 1st hand. Give us snippets of action that show what is happening. Show us the forces acting on him. If necessary, cut the scope down to a few vivid details supported by action.
One example. I don't care what Paulu is determined about. Show me a knife attack in a dark alley, with more to come.
I know, easy to say. And I've searched high and wide for successful thriller/suspense queries. There aren't many out there.
You gotta just keep trying. Took me years to write a decent query, and I don't know if I could even do it again.
Does anyone know any links or have tips for writing a query for a thriller (even better, a spy thriller)? I've just been told that at the moment my query is flat, and wondering how I can charge it up.
Thanks.