Seeking betas for silly YA adventure w/ video game references

>compass< · Jul 16, 2014

ETA: I've agreed to swap with some lovely folks so I'll be temporarily unable to beta swap with anyone new until I finish theirs. If anyone still wants to just give SKRIZGAARD a read then I would be pleased as punch to provide a sample or the whole MS

Hello all,

I am seeking betas for my 52,000 word YA Adventure, THE GREAT AND NOBLE SKRIZGAARD. It is a silly story with elements of fantasy and many, many video game references.

Here's a query I wrote for it:

Viking lord Skrizgaard’s got it made in the shade: loads of quests, big bad boss battles, and plenty of pillage to plunder. The noble warrior’s been the world’s greatest hero for over 1,000 years and he plans to keep it that way until forever finally ends. A fetch quest to nab a cursed flute for the queen of the Eternal City is easy-peasy for a champion like Skrizgaard. Until the cursed flute strips away his immortality and makes evil, people-dissolving spirits start pouring into the world. After that the last thing he needs is some pre-teen following him around saying she needs his protection.

To 12-year-old Medolie Perker, better known as Meddy, the great and noble Skrizgaard is like a knight in shining armor. She just knows he’ll make a great bodyguard. Until her Glitch powers activate, that is. Then she’ll be the most powerful being in the world. Till then she might as well be a regular kid, a sitting duck for the cyborgs from the Land of the Technomancers to kidnap. And her powers show no sign of kicking in anytime soon. But as the world fills up with evil spirits and more and more people get dissolved, those cyborgs might be the least of Meddy’s problems.

With a devil on his trail and zero health potions left, Skrizgaard’s got his hands full enough trying to complete his quest without having to look after Meddy. Luckily, the queen of the Eternal City knows a cure that’ll let him reverse the flute’s curse and send the evil spirits back to the otherspace. But he’ll need an all-powerful Glitch to pull it off.

I have not yet split it into chapters but if you would like to read the first, say, 55 pages I would be happy to provide them. In return I am willing to beta back your first few chapters, or your whole MS in exchange for mine if it is a similar length (I like pretty much any genre as long as it's fiction and I'll read YA, MG, NA, whatever

).

Feedback wise, I'm not looking for LBL or harsh criticism. I do want to be told where my MS is slow or too fast or confusing or boring or takes the reader out of it. Basically, I'm just looking to see if people enjoy reading it or not.

Thanks for your time!

aturley · Jul 21, 2014

I'll read the first 50 pages.

aturley · Jul 21, 2014

PM me if you would like me to. I used review YA for publishers, I've reviewed plenty of books before.

>compass< · Jul 21, 2014

Absolutely, and thank you!

Taylor Kowalski · Jul 21, 2014

I'd be interested in swapping. I have a 62,000-word YA specfic that needs more general comments on continuity than anything else at this point.

I'll shoot you a PM about it.

However, I can't help but think that 12 is way too young for a YA protagonist. That sounds firmly MG to me.

Seanchar · Jul 22, 2014

Send it to me. I'd love to read it. PM me.

>compass< · Jul 22, 2014

Thanks Taylor Kowalski and Seanchar, I really appreciate it! I'll PM both of you

Taylor Kowalski said:
However, I can't help but think that 12 is way too young for a YA protagonist. That sounds firmly MG to me.

Oh man, I know. I figure the way she develops through the story -- seeing the world more as a grown-up and her place in it -- inches it more into YA territory. Really though, it could probably be either YA or MG, it's so borderline.

Seeking betas for silly YA adventure w/ video game references

>compass<

A little off kilter

aturley

aturley

>compass<

A little off kilter

Taylor Kowalski

professional mountain troll

Seanchar

>compass<

A little off kilter