Male Rape in YA

I think depicting a male rape is important because males remain silent on this issue (females too, but males more so). For example, out of the huge number of rapes in the military, males make-up 50% of the victims.

However, the rape has to end the love interest. It has to. Otherwise you are making an excuse an justifying it. Think of it this way, you excuse the rape in your book with possession and in the real world it is excused by alcohol. This is a BAD message to send. If the rape is from a love interest, that has to be the end. There is NEVER an excuse. EVER. You don't want to be teaching teenagers (or anyone) that there is an excuse that makes it ok.

Prodigy said:

My main Character would be the victim and one of his love interest would be the aggressor. However, is there a way to write the rape and still make him a compelling love interest?
...I am worried that it could destroy him being a viable love interest

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Speaking from a personal point of view, yeah, it would destroy him as a love interest.

I'm going to repeat. You can't combine love interest and rape and have it continue. In any way. If a character starts as a love interest or friend and then they rape the MC, the relationship is over. Regardless of the reason.

Okay. Let's say hot girl Lily and cute guy Ben are in love. Jack is Ben's BFF.

So Jack rapes Lily in front of Ben (and what is Ben doing? Tied up or enjoying the show?). And the next day Ben proposes to Lily. Happy ending.

Doesn't quite make sense to me.

Now MC swap: Liam and Ben are in love. Jack is Ben's BFF.

So Jack rapes Liam in front of Ben (and what is Ben doing? Tied up or enjoying the show?). And the next day Ben proposes to Liam in a gay friendly society. Happy ending.

Still doesn't quite make sense to me.

In some part of the Africa... I think it's DRC.. .militants would attack villages and rape women in front of their husbands and children. Nothing is more humiliating. The victims (raped & forced audience) take long time to heal, if at all possible.

Prodigy said:

But the guy raping my MC(it actually won't be a full on rape)_ isn't his Love interest or friend.

he's the friend of the Love interest and more or less a sadist/antagonist.

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If the LI drops his rapist friend after this, you'd be on the right route. Even if the (attempted) rape doesn't destroy the romance between the MC and the LI, you would have to turn it into an obstacle they have to overcome. It's way too serious an issue to pass by lightly.

I also want to point out that (in my opinion but I feel it should be a universal one) rape should never be used as a plot device.

If Point A is: "BF finds out Ben is gay and in love with Liam who he hates" and Point B is "Ben has been made aware of how much BF hates Liam and the fact that Ben is gay" the bridge from Point A should not be rape just for the sake of getting to Point B.
If you can think of any other way to get from Point A to Point B that doesn't change any other aspect of your story and that isn't rape, choose that.

Rape is an incredibly delicate thing to write about and is a uniquely emotional crime in terms of its consequences. It needs to be treated with certain levels of sensitivity and meaning (especially in YA, dealing with impressionable and naive audiences here) and it shouldn't be thrown in just so that a character then has reason to feel angry or that it creates discordance between two other characters.

Par exemple [KITE RUNNER SPOILERS - NOT WHITED]:

In The Kite-Runner, two boys from different social backgrounds are best friends. The rich one is beaten and protected by his poor friend. The poor one is then raped by the same bullies and the rich one sees but does not intervene.

The fact that the second beating involves rape is not used as a plot device but instead shapes the entire character of the rich boy; the unbearable guilt that he is racked with for not intervening and his subsequent attempts, many years later, to relinquish that guilt. Once the rape occurs there is no previous storyline that continues on, no plot strand that has moved forward due to the rape, instead the entire novel in many ways begins anew from that point and the story becomes the aftermath of that event.

More importantly, the two characters, the rich boy and the poor boy, are never friends again after the incident.

Don't use male rape (or any rape) because you think it's a cool plot device, or because it's an interesting problem for two characters you potentially want to have end up together or because it's an easy way of giving your MC an emotional crisis.

Talk about male rape because you want to talk about male rape and do it the justice it deserves and do it responsibly.

I'd recommend Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick as a YA book that deals with the consequences of a male rape.

MM

Be careful that the rape is for a reason and that the repercussions are very evident and deeply felt, even if it is not full rape. Too often sexual assault is used to up the stakes, but it is treated carelessly and doesn't weave throughout the story. This is a huge issue for a lot of people who have lived it, so do them the favor of not treating it lightly or simply for the sake of tension.

I don't think the relationship necessarily has to end immediately, because that is often not the case in real life. If this guy is a sadist then he might hold this over the MC, threaten him if he tells anyone, etc. There are lots of directions it could go, but tread carefully, and make sure the MC's experience and recovery is felt and key to the plot of the story, otherwise I would avoid it.

Ellaroni said:

If the LI drops his rapist friend after this, you'd be on the right route. Even if the (attempted) rape doesn't destroy the romance between the MC and the LI, you would have to turn it into an obstacle they have to overcome. It's way too serious an issue to pass by lightly.

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I agree and as a reader, there would need to be a lot of time spent on the repercussions.

Prodigy, the way you're switching around which characters commits/attempts the rape sounds like a problem. I have an attempted rape in one of my books but it's something that a specific character is capable of in that situation. Unless the plot of my book is about a rape, I don't try to put one in it just to be there. If you're trying to add tension between your MC's without destroying their relationship, rape is not the way to do it.

Hey Prodigy, hey all! I find this subject very interesting, as I have thought about using it myself in a story recently. The thing about my story though is that the incident would not be between the protag and anyone that he knows. Also after the incident he is almost completely filled with hatred for the people who did this to him, and not just merely the people who did the act, but all the people from the country that betrayed him. So basically it turned his narrative into a revenge story, so to say, as he is so damaged by the incident that he has to destroy all who were even thought to have been involved. He is actually just one of six characters that are part of a larger story that involves fighting in and surviving a war. Another war put into motion by a man in search of revenge is being put in motion, and these six characters must come together, put aside their past hatreds, and fight a common enemy. Eventually, this character finds peace and is willing to forgive, falling in love with a man that he never would have expected. Anyway, that is the way that I am going to use it, as back-story, something in the passed that shaped who this young man was and who he will become. The fact that he is willing to forgive is the part that shows that it is true that he might have been wounded in the past, but he is able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Now rape is something that nobody should ever take lightly, the effects can be so very devastating on so many different levels that it is hard to write and it is difficult to read. If use it you must, you must give it the proper respect, not that you won't, but still it is a tricky subject. Certainly not because young readers can't handle it. I read my first attempted rape in middle school, so I think that the subject would be fine to write. What is important is that one know the gravity of the situation. Anyway, good luck with this, I hope that what you found here was helpful. I find the subject interesting, as it is true that male rape is not something that is generally talked about. Gay sex, yes, but male rape, no. In some ways it does carry more of a stigma than female rape because we live in this patriarchal society and a man being raped is not something that men generally want to discuss. Anyway, cheers!! Good luck in figuring it all out. And if you can't find any books on male rape, you might want to check out some yaoi manga, as occasionally you will find one with male rape in it.

kenpochick said:

I'm going to repeat. You can't combine love interest and rape and have it continue. In any way. If a character starts as a love interest or friend and then they rape the MC, the relationship is over. Regardless of the reason.

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This is just off the top of my head, but..

Spike tried to rape Buffy and they loved each other to the end. They even made an excuse for it, and their romance remained a fan favorite. It could also be argued that Willow raped Tara when she erased her memories during a fight and banged her instead.

The Flowers in the Attic feature a girl falling in love with her brother who rapes her at some point. She also got raped by her other love interest.

In Game of Thrones Kal Drogo raped Dany, and they fell deeply in love after.

Any time Sam banged Ruby and Dean banged that angel chick, they were both knowingly banging people who had no control over their bodies and were aware of everything. How is that not rape?

I think that if rape is going to be used in a story, it has to be done carefully and not just thrown around for shock value or as a lazy plot device. While I dislike anything that attempts to excuse rape, I don't believe that it makes for realistic fiction if characters of all types just happen to deal with rape by severing the relationship. That's not always what happens in real life, and I prefer my fiction to reflect the real decisions people make, even if it's not a decision I like.

Several of the above examples have actually been HEAVILY criticized by MANY people. It happens in plenty of fiction, but it's a really, really unfortunate trope with really shitty real-life implications. A lot of people won't be interested in reading rape-to-love regardless of how well it's done.

Prodigy said:

hmm I see. Okay a lot to think about. While I want to add the attempted rape, I don't want it to be the thing that destroys the romance between the two.

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I think the Spike and Buffy attempted rape was resolved as sucessfully as possible since I didn't hate Spike in the end, and neither did Buffy. Most importantly, they never got together afterwards.

Spike assaulted Buffy when he was souless & evil. Knowing that Buffy would never love him he went and sought a soul, seeking redemption. He goes crazy with guilt becoming unstable and Buffy helps rehabilitate him. His remorse seemed genuine and the writers said it was important that they never sleep together again but they build a new relationship based on respect.

In the 2nd last episode, they spoon together on a bed and Spike tells her that he loves her and she's 'the one', she thanks him but doesn't say it back. They don't have sex but they truly reach an 'understanding'. Spike understands that what he did was unforgivable and is really tormented by guilt. Buffy understands that he was a souless monster at the time but now he's regained a sense of humanity.

As long as your story doesn't downplay what happened, and no further romance blossoms between these characters, it can be possible to redeem the character, but it'd be hard to do in one book. It might be better if the character is possessed but there's also 'unfortunate implications' with that as well. Even then, I don't think it's a good idea to simply absolve the rapist and say, oh well he wasn't being himself. It's hard to separate the person from their actions, regardless of who's driving.


Have you considered that the BF and Liam are both possessed and sleep together and Ben is devastated but must ultimately forgive them? You can avoid rape this way but still create a conflict with forgiveness and remorse.

But here's the thing about rape again. If you do it and it is followed through with, there has to be a healing time for the victim. If he is unable to heal, he will never be able to find peace. I don't think he necessarily has to forgive, though it can be helpful, but he does have to go through a healing process or the character will be stuck. I am going to do something crazy right now and recommend a movie to you. Gohatto (which means Taboo, but the subject of homosexuality was not taboo to the Japanese) is about a young man named Kano who joins the Shinsengumi (A pro-shogunate militia). Almost immediately he is being courted by several men. Two in particular take advantage of him sexually, and while their sex may seem consensual, Kano, the boy, actually resents both men for their treatment of him. What he does to rectify this is to murder one of his antagonists and then set up the other one as the murderer. With that he gets revenge upon those who took advantage of him. This is a really great Japanese film with one sequence of homosexual sex that really isn't very graphic. I would say that it might help you somewhat with your conundrum about rape, or people who take advantage sexually of others. Anyway, just a thought. But really, the film is very interesting. I just used it as part of my senior thesis about samurai in Japanese film. Very good movie.

Some very interesting thoughts. Thank you, everybody.

My character's situations are rather different; I have a lesbian character who, in my second book, is sent to a "corrective" camp, where rape is used as part of the "treatment".

Ultimately, she is rescued from the camp, and she and the love interest go on to have a (brief, unfortunately -- but that's another plot point!) relationship. But I do plan for there to be a lot of time, discomfort, and recovery as part of their relationship.

Thanks for giving me things to keep in mind.

kenpochick said:

I think depicting a male rape is important because males remain silent on this issue (females too, but males more so). For example, out of the huge number of rapes in the military, males make-up 50% of the victims.

However, the rape has to end the love interest. It has to. Otherwise you are making an excuse an justifying it. Think of it this way, you excuse the rape in your book with possession and in the real world it is excused by alcohol. This is a BAD message to send. If the rape is from a love interest, that has to be the end. There is NEVER an excuse. EVER. You don't want to be teaching teenagers (or anyone) that there is an excuse that makes it ok.

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Are there really a number of UF/Dystopian/YA/"Romance" books out there where someone falls in love with someone who raped them? That is one of those things where I sure hope it is mostly hysteria and unproven speculation. I don't think I could be physically capable of writing any kind of story where someone starts a romance with someone who raped them even if I decided I was gonna dedicate the entire rest of my life to it.

As for the question, it would be interesting to explore the ideas of how the male character feels his masculinity is somehow threatened if he comes forward and admits that the assault affected him the same way it would a woman. The fact that men often feel like expressing feelings of being victimized means they are not real men can add various unique angles to it. Oh, and if the rapist is female, stay the hell away from this trope: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale

Sage said:

I don't see any proof of "hysteria and unproven speculation" in this thread. Reading through I see nobody suggesting there are "number of UF/Dystopian/YA/'Romance' books out there where someone falls in love with someone who raped them." There are some very specific examples in the thread that prove that they do exist, and warnings about the implications specific to the OP's question.

OTOH, do a little research into YA PR and rape culture, and while I'm hoping there's no examples of actual rape turning into love (at least not in YA; as I've seen it in adult), there's certainly a lot of discussion about how certain "clues" in some YA novels could suggest exactly the same thing.

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Sorry, I should have specified that I did not mean specifically in this thread, I meant as a general observation among literary fans that there seemed to be speculation on it, and perhaps it goes back to what you just said on how there are sort of "clues" that suggest these things and the literary community is up in arms. And if these clues do imply characters falling in love with those who raped them, then of course it would be totally justified for them to be up in arms.

I would certainly contend that even having clues in one's writing that hint at these sort of things should be completely condemned and ostracized from the literary community at large and any serious writer should get the message than even giving clues that hint towards these kind of things will never be tolerated.

Well when you think about it, in Tess of the D'urbervilles, Tess goes back to the man who rapes her. I won't say that it is love, but she does go back to him, and in the end gets her revenge by stabbing him to death. Of course that is not a YA example, but it is an interesting thing to think on. Why would a rape victim ever go back and be the lover of the man who raped her? It is interesting to speculate on, in all truth. And ZachJPayne, in certain Japanese publications, that is actually quite common, or not common, but it does happen when rape is used as a common punishment, or when one opponent has conquered another. You gotta love the Japanese, they have such rapey minds sometimes.