Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2

The prologue just above is from Carmilla by J. Sheridan LeFanu.

What's good about it?

It's:

1) Brief.
2) Disposable.
3) Brings in information that can be gained in no other way.
4) The story is still understandable and enjoyable even without the prologue, but the prologue does provide extra depth.

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From Uncle Jim's Mailbag:

I like it. Appears to be necessary

The "Doctor Hesselius" of the prologue is mentioned nowhere else in the story. His sole function appears to be to lend the weight of authority (for can you imagine a more learned and authoritative-sounding name than "Doctor Hesselius"?) to what would otherwise seem an incredible tale. But if he believes it, then, it must be true!

This prologue is artful indeed. It provides the simulacrum of redeeming social value. But if the reader skips it on seeing the word "Prologue" and turns directly to chapter one, no major loss. There's still a slam-bang tale of overt vampirism and covert lesbianism waiting.


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From Uncle Jim's Mailbag:

Jim,
I'm not entirely sure but lately when I write I feel more distance to my characters, rather than closeness. (Keep in mind, I normally write in third POV). I've been trying to get a closer third person to kind of get closer to my character and further tighten up my writing. However, I feel like, now, I've done the complete opposite. I don't know if it's matter of not fleshing out the characters enough, not being as interested in them as I would be others or what. My writing just feels like "X character did this" and then some kind of thought, action, etc. It's flat and sometimes kind boring. I know this is mostly in my first drafts so, I probably shouldn't be as worried about it. My writing just doesn't feel interesting. It's not that I don't want to be a writer, I do. It just feel like the first draft falls flat, like completely paper-thin flat. I know that my first draft will have its issues and problems; I can deal with that. However, is there anyway to make my actual writing/prose a bit more interesting?

Thanks in advance.

Silver-Midnight, is this your first complete novel manuscript?

The original magazine appearance of "Carmilla" did not have the prologue. In A Glass Darkly was a collection of Dr. Hesselius' cases. LeFanu added the prologue so "Carmilla" would fit in with the rest of the stories in the collection.

James D. Macdonald said:

Silver-Midnight, is this your first complete novel manuscript?

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Yes, if I can get through it and actually write, then yes, hopefully it will be my first novel or novella depending on word count. I mostly wrote short stories, and I mean really short stories, like 2K, However, I do want write something longer, and so far, I've been getting better at it. My short stories have gotten much longer by now. It's just I'm still a newbie, and I hit these "walls". When I hit these "walls", I just, I don't know, get stuck or something. It's always something, and I really don't know what to do. I think I'm still in that phase of "worrying too much about writing to actually write". I guess I'm just afraid of making too many mistakes, or at least, making too many amateur mistakes. I've been writing off an on for six years, and I just feel like, I don't know, my writing would be a little better or writing would be easier by now. Then on top of all of that, I'm leaving my comfort zone a little bit mostly because I want to venture out and try other things. So, I'm even more worried because I feel like I'm starting all over again back at square one. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I'm writing or the idea behind what I'm writing but I just fear that I'm somehow "writing it wrong". And now, I can't even write a sentence down without erasing it. Before, I was able to escape to fan fiction to get something written, and now I can't even do that because I'm doing the exact same thing as with my original fiction. I just don't know what to do.

I really can't take a break because I've gotten my novel outlined and I planned to work on for June Camp(Camp Nanowrimo). I was also going to work on a short story along with it if I could, and working on the short story is how I got to the question I asked. The short story is also outlined. However, it feels like every other thing I've written now that I think about it. It even has a similar opening and possibly dialogue.


I apologize for the long post.

It's okay, Silver-Midnight.

You're in the dread Mid-Book Slump.

Go over to Uncle Jim Undiluted and search on "mid-book." What you feel is perfectly normal. Most (I want to say "all" but there might be some eccentric out there who's the exact opposite) writers feel the same way.

The only way through is forward.

James D. Macdonald said:

It's okay, Silver-Midnight.

You're in the dread Mid-Book Slump.

Go over to Uncle Jim Undiluted and search on "mid-book." What you feel is perfectly normal. Most (I want to say "all" but there might be some eccentric out there who's the exact opposite) writers feel the same way.

The only way through is forward.

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So,....I should just BS my way through this complete writing slump I'm in? (Like, everything I start just sucks, for lack of a better word.) Like complete BS? I'll try it.

Yep. If you don't know what to write next, make stuff up. Even the certain knowledge that you're writing crud -- don't allow it to stop you. That's your saboteur-self talking. After you've let the completed book marinate in your desk drawer for a month or so you'll be surprised by how much it's improved.

That's what aging the manuscript does. It allows all the suck to drain out.

I've found the suck doesn't always drain out but sometimes settles in one place, making cleanup more convenient.

James D. Macdonald said:

Yep. If you don't know what to write next, make stuff up. Even the certain knowledge that you're writing crud -- don't allow it to stop you. That's your saboteur-self talking. After you've let the completed book marinate in your desk drawer for a month or so you'll be surprised by how much it's improved.

That's what aging the manuscript does. It allows all the suck to drain out.

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Is bad though to start off BS your MS if you just can't seem to get a starting point you like or can get through though? I mean no matter what I plan to do a rewrite but still.

Two choices: Give up or muddle through. Your call.

James D. Macdonald said:

Two choices: Give up or muddle through. Your call.

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Muddle through.

Thanks for the advice.

James D. Macdonald said:

Yep. If you don't know what to write next, make stuff up. Even the certain knowledge that you're writing crud -- don't allow it to stop you. That's your saboteur-self talking. After you've let the completed book marinate in your desk drawer for a month or so you'll be surprised by how much it's improved.

That's what aging the manuscript does. It allows all the suck to drain out.

Click to expand...

What he said.

I've taken this advice and have made an amazing discovery. Even during the times I wrote crap so bad the stench set off the smoke detectors, the writing wasn't as bad as I thought. At least it was fixable.

I did find that there was usually a purple haze floating over the prose, a dangling part by the icipals, and the plot holes looked more like craters than pinholes. Isn't that what a rough draft is supposed to have?

I should mention that you ought to have a goal in mind. Else how will you know if you've arrived?

James D. Macdonald said:

Yep. If you don't know what to write next, make stuff up. Even the certain knowledge that you're writing crud -- don't allow it to stop you. That's your saboteur-self talking. After you've let the completed book marinate in your desk drawer for a month or so you'll be surprised by how much it's improved.

That's what aging the manuscript does. It allows all the suck to drain out.

Click to expand...

I have to admit that at first I didn't believe this. I really didn't.

Last year, on a lark, I participated in the 3-Day Novel weekend. I didn't do it in the hopes of having a novel by the end but I wanted to have a nice headstart and figured, what the hey? Why not? Nothing to lose, etc.

Day Two I was despondent that everything, everything I was writing was pure dreck. Why did I think this was a good idea? When did I get it in my head that I might actually be good at this? You know, all the self-doubt that plagues writers daily, all condensed down to a feverish three days of writing.

When it was over, I wasn't done and I wasn't disappointed I wasn't done. I had a good headstart. Life kicked in and I had to put it aside for a bit.

I came back to it later and read it over, confident, convinced that it was the Worst Thing Ever Committed To The Page. But I wanted to read it, have fond remembrances of those whirlwind three days before I trunked it.

I was honestly, truly surprised at how good it was. Oh sure, it needed work with grammar and spelling. Punctuation was all over the place as were my tenses. But the story? The words? I couldn't believe that I had actually written them.

Did word fairies come and change things around while I wasn't looking and make them better? Where was that dreadful mess I remember?

It was then I realized how powerful a tool it was to really let that ms sit for a while before editing.

/personal story

I know the end of the last (unwritten, unstarted) Mageworlds book:

Jens Metadi-Jessan and Faral Hyfid-Metadi (introduced in The Long Hunt) are sitting under a tree on re-born and terraformed Entibor. "Have a beer, coz?" Faral says. "Thanks," Jens replies. "Don't mind if I do."

Do I need to mention here that Entibor is, symbolically, the Garden of Eden? Folks who have read the books carefully will already know this.

The entire Mageworlds series is a massive allegory.

BTW: Nice review of Mageworlds: http://tosche-station.net/?p=1189

allenparker said:

What he said.

I've taken this advice and have made an amazing discovery. Even during the times I wrote crap so bad the stench set off the smoke detectors, the writing wasn't as bad as I thought. At least it was fixable.

I did find that there was usually a purple haze floating over the prose, a dangling part by the icipals, and the plot holes looked more like craters than pinholes. Isn't that what a rough draft is supposed to have?

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I'll bet you also overused metaphor and simile like a pot head smoking rag weed.

Charlie Horse said:

I'll bet you also overused metaphor and simile like a pot head smoking rag weed.

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Like beating a dead horse's ass with a stick.

From Uncle Jim's Mailbag:

James D. Macdonald said:

From Uncle Jim's Mailbag:

Dear Uncle Jim:

What is the difference between a cliffhanger ending for my novel and a twist ending for my novel?
​

Confused in Portchester
​

Dear Confused:

If you end your novel with a cliffhanger your readers will throw your book against the wall, hate the book, hate you, and swear that they will never read another story by you ever again as long as they live. They will also tell all their friends that your books suck. With a twist ending, on the other hand, they will love the book, love you, seek out all of your other works, and tell all their friends that they have to read your book. I hope this clears up the confusion.
​

Uncle Jim
​

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Ha! Love this description.

From Uncle Jim's Mailbag:For everyone: It's been a while since I've handed out an assignment. So, here it is! Write one of those two new endings for "The Lady, or the Tiger?" The story's in the public domain so you can even do it legally!

Shameless advertising time!

Editorial and Critique Services: Debra Doyle, Ph.D.