"She looked at him, fierce."

Mr. Mask said:

Sorry for needing to ask such a basic question. Thank you for your time and patience.

I was wondering if, "She looked at him, fierce.", would be acceptable in fiction writing.

I don't think it is correct grammatically. I've seen some authors skirt the line of grammar, and wondered if it would be accepted by readers/editors.

Thank you again for your time.

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If that' from dialogue, then it's fine. If it's from third person direct narrative, then the grammar should be corrected. If it's from first person narrative, then you can get away with it.

But those are just my opinions as a reader.

"She looked at him fiercely." Probably is what you mean.

One important thing: make sure fierce or fiercely is really what you mean. Fierce means violently hostile or aggressive in temperament. It's hard to know out of context, but you might be being hyperbolic.

If it's a line of dialog, get rid of the comma because it's a colloquial expressions something like like "I held her tight."

I agree with KN's and Maryn's alternatives for narrative. As a reader, I'd think a typo got overlooked. As an editor for a self-publisher, I'd argue against such a sentence. As a copy-editor for a publisher, my editor-in-chief would kill me for letting such a line slide.

Most anything is acceptable.

In fiction.

Writing today.

She looked at him like something fierce, could work, too?

And I'll echo what everyone else said.

The proper adverb is fiercely.

No, it wouldn't work. You could write "She looked at him fiercely", which is much better, but still not the best way of portraying such an emotion and facial expression.

benbradley said:

Most anything is acceptable.

In fiction.

Writing today.

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Anything except really bad writing, poor story, characters no one cares about, and unintentionally poor grammar. Go through a slush pile and you'll see all sorts of things that are completely unacceptable. In fact, only ten percent or so of all teh manuscripts will be acceptable in any way, and only about one percent will be good enough to publish anywhere. Chances are high that not a single one will be acceptable to any large publisher.

It's bad, either way... nothing you can do to fix it—Delete!

It depend on the voice of the narrator. I hear that line in the voice of someone whose local dialect would not have them say "fiercely". And if that's the character (close 3rd person), that's great.

If the word "fierce" is meant to apply to the woman rather than the look, it could be expanded, such as "She looked at him, fierce as a mountain lion." It's still colloquial, but if that's the voice of the narrative, it's fine.

If the narrator is neutral in voice, then it's simply bad grammar, and would not be acceptable. One instance might not get your manuscript rejected, but repeated instances would indicate a problem with grammar that might be too tedious for editors to bother fixing.

Jamesaritchie said:

Anything except really bad writing, poor story, characters no one cares about, and unintentionally poor grammar. Go through a slush pile and you'll see all sorts of things that are completely unacceptable. In fact, only ten percent or so of all teh manuscripts will be acceptable in any way, and only about one percent will be good enough to publish anywhere. Chances are high that not a single one will be acceptable to any large publisher.

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I think that's a fascinating comment...for another room. Not that we always need to be on-topic, but if we're going to wander, maybe we could do it more pleasantly?

You can probably do better if you take a moment to step back and consider what you really want to convey...

"She glared at him."

Some folks would argue that any adverb is superfluous if you have a verb at your disposal that effectively conveys the emotion of the moment. However, it may just be a matter of your personal style - almost anything goes these days.

"looked" is a kind of generic verb. I think you need a stronger one, maybe "glared", as ironmike just suggested. Then you don't really need the adverb.

One of the principal problems with adverbs is that they get used to goose weak verbs. Stronger verbs help.

caw

Adverbs and adjectives do get mixed up. It depends on accepted usage. But in this case, it sounds bad, at least to my ear.

And hello to the forum.

If she's being fierce while looking at him, yes. If her look is fierce, then it's fiercely.

I'd be more inclined to write. "She threw him a fierce look."

RackinRocky said:

I'd be more inclined to write. "She threw him a fierce look."

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I don't know how you can throw a look. I do know how you can throw a book. And why you might.

caw

She looked at him like a mongoose looking at a king cobra...or
She looked at him like a tsunami about to strike the beack.


Iuno

"She gave him a lethal glare."

She looked at him like a teacher looks at the last doughnut on the faculty room table...

C.bronco said:

She looked at him like a teacher looks at the last doughnut on the faculty room table...

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THAT'S IT!!!!

C.bronco said:

She looked at him like a teacher looks at the last doughnut on the faculty room table...

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Correction: cop, station.