Your post is well timed, Bat. Although I may end up giving TMI
I just had a very long conversation about writing with my husband last weekend. I come from a very puritanical, work hard/earn money kind of family. My parents did not want me to pursue music because they didn't think I could earn money with it. But when I brought home my first pro paycheck in HS followed by several others, they changed their minds.
But I left that behind for several reasons and now I'm pursuing a writing career. Since my youngest started full time school two years ago, I have devoted a large amount of time to writing (and before that for several years I snagged hours when I could). The first year the goal was to submit 100 stories and recieve 100 rejections so I could get used to it. I was fortunate and received 9 acceptances, which thrilled me even though they were only semi-pro and token (though one paid pro it's not a qualifying SFFWA market).
Then I wanted to go back to novels because I love writing novels. I chose to enter a crit group again and found out how terrible my writing was, thus tearing down the tough skin I had built up with all the rejections I'd recieved. No wonder I couldn't get any pro acceptances when apparently I didn't know how to even put sentences together.
So I decided after several months that crit group wasn't for me. I just needed to write and write and write. This year in Jan., Feb., and March I recieved two acceptances a month. Again, though, they were token and semi-pro markets.
Now, I haven't made a sale since March and my published novellas aren't selling at all. I am in no way contributing financially to the family. Worse, I'm pretty much a money drain as I pay $2-$5 bucks to sit at Starbucks because some days I can't stand to write at home. Plus, blog upkeep and money for my Photo Flare contests. It became overwhelmingly depressing last weekend.
I am in a different position than you because I'm not the main bread winner for myself, but I understand that feeling of working and working and working with no financial gain to show for it.
I'll spare you how supportive my husband is
As we talked about the other benifits of my writing that don't involve money, I realized that I haven't been submitting novels to pro agents and publishers at all, and the small press I'm at isn't very well known. I can't quit now without submitting at least a hundred times to agents and pro publishers of novels like I did with my short stories.
So I've sent my new novel to a promarket that doesn't require an agent and also to an agent. I plan to send it out more while I finish up some unfinished short stories and then get another novel ready to send out.
You should keep at it, Bat, and try finding an agent for your novel. I think it's hard to make a living writing short stories even with a high pro acceptance rate. I think there is a lot to be learned in short stories and it's important to get your name out there, but making a living enough to give up all jobs with short stories seems extremely difficult. Good luck to us all.