Cover and Blurb Advice? (New blurb attempt: post #26)

[Katallina]

Is this better? I actually really love this new tag and paragraph setup. I think (hope? pray?) I woke up the parts that were asleep?

I know for some the reference to the murder may seem like it's taking away from the romance, but it directly ties to how the hero and heroine wind up together (they go to different schools and would not have met otherwise since Sarena has been deliberately avoiding him). However, I am still open to suggestions.

***

Some promises are meant to be broken.

Sarena Lengton knows what it's like to die -- two years ago her soul journeyed to the Underworld. Zakariah, the Lord of Judgement, has offered to spare her life in return for a promise. Sarena must convince his younger brother, Kesyl, to use his powers as a Sealer to open a portal to the Underworld. Then Zakariah can absorb Kesyl's soul and experience life on Earth.

Now seventeen, Sarena has managed to avoid completing Zakariah's task. But when she witnesses a murder at Sterling High where nothing but a skeleton is left behind, Sarena knows she will need Kesyl's help to catch the killer. As they work together, she finds herself falling for the boy she promised to help destroy.

Sarena doesn't want to know what Zakariah will do to her if she defies him. But if she fulfills her end of their agreement, Kesyl will lose his soul. Can Sarena keep her life and her love? Or will both be torn from her forever?

***

Should it be:

"...fulfills her end of their agreement..."

"...fulfills her end of the agreement..."

"...keeps her end of their bargain..."

"...keeps her end of the bargain..."

Or of course the words in each of these could be mixed.

Yes, I know I am very obsessed with this blurb. *laughs* Thanks again.

[Rob Lopez]

Originally Posted by Katallina

Is this better? I actually really love this new tag and paragraph setup. I think (hope? pray?) I woke up the parts that were asleep?

I know for some the reference to the murder may seem like it's taking away from the romance, but it directly ties to how the hero and heroine wind up together (they go to different schools and would not have met otherwise since Sarena has been deliberately avoiding him). However, I am still open to suggestions.

***

Some promises are meant to be broken.

Sarena Lengton knows what it's like to die -- two years ago her soul journeyed to the Underworld. Zakariah, the Lord of Judgement, has offered to spare her life in return for a promise. Sarena must convince his younger brother, Kesyl, to use his powers as a Sealer to open a portal to the Underworld. Then Zakariah can absorb Kesyl's soul and experience life on Earth.

Now seventeen, Sarena has managed to avoid completing Zakariah's task. But when she witnesses a murder at Sterling High where nothing but a skeleton is left behind, Sarena knows she will need Kesyl's help to catch the killer. As they work together, she finds herself falling for the boy she promised to help destroy.

Sarena doesn't want to know what Zakariah will do to her if she defies him. But if she fulfills her end of their agreement, Kesyl will lose his soul. Can Sarena keep her life and her love? Or will both be torn from her forever?

***

Should it be:

"...fulfills her end of their agreement..."

"...fulfills her end of the agreement..."

"...keeps her end of their bargain..."

"...keeps her end of the bargain..."

Or of course the words in each of these could be mixed.

Yes, I know I am very obsessed with this blurb. *laughs* Thanks again.

Huge step up in quality. I can see immediately what I can expect as a reader.

The blurb-force is strong in you.

'keeps her end of the bargain' gets my vote.

[veinglory]

Re: the cover image, the woman's expression seems vacant and the overall effect is not graceful. I think you should focus more on mood and 'grabbiness' than a specific pose.

[Katallina]

@ Rob: Thanks so much. Your suggestions have resulted in a far better blurb all around.

@ Veinglory: Absolutely! I have really bad vision and I did not realize something was wrong with the dancers' expressions until I came here. I'm actually in contact with the artist that Stranger linked me to earlier in the thread and will be working with her, which is exciting because I absolutely love her art style.

So, to sum up:

1. Cover: Discussions are open between me and a cover artist -- I will update regarding this when I can.

2. As of now, I am going with the title Sealer's Promise. It's really grown on me and I love it, plus it ties with the blurb I have now, which is great.

3. What will hopefully be the final version of the blurb:

Some promises are meant to be broken.

Sarena Lengton knows what it's like to die -- two years ago her soul journeyed to the Underworld. Zakariah, the Lord of Judgement, has offered to spare her life in return for a promise. Sarena must convince his younger brother, Kesyl, to use his powers as a Sealer to open a portal to the Underworld. Then Zakariah can absorb Kesyl's soul and experience life on Earth.

Now seventeen, Sarena has managed to avoid completing Zakariah's task. But when she witnesses a murder at Sterling High where nothing but a skeleton is left behind, Sarena knows she will need Kesyl's help to catch the killer. As they work together, she finds herself falling for the boy she promised to help destroy.

Sarena doesn't want to know what Zakariah will do to her if she defies him. But if she keeps her end of the bargain, Kesyl will lose his soul. Can Sarena keep her life and her love? Or will both be torn from her forever?

***

Thanks so much to everyone who has helped with this. I will update again when I have more news.