Romance is just erotica grown up, by which I don't mean that eroticism leads to romance, but if you want to write a novel with erotic elements, you need romance to sustain it, and if you want to write romance, it takes time and needs a novel.
It's my understanding that what sets erotica apart from romance isn't so much whether or not there are romantic elements (because there can be romance in erotica), but whether the story focuses on the protagonist's own sexual journey rather than that of the couple. The lack of a "Happily Ever After" or "Happy For Now" ending is another factor, though there are plenty of books and stories in the erotica genre that have at least a satisfying ending. It used to be that you couldn't have a poly relationship in a romance, but I've seen more and more examples of this in erotic and contemporary romance these days that I get the impression that it's no longer a dealbreaker.
I agree that it's sometimes difficult to keep love from creeping into an erotic plot because the two are so often intertwined, but I disagree that erotica is some lower rung on the ladder that must inevitably lead to romance. While I don't necessarily think she's the definitive word on the subject, I often find myself turning to Sylvia Day's definitions of
porn vs. erotica vs. erotic romance vs. romance whenever I need clarification in my own work.
I'm not really sure what you meant by, "if you want to write romance, it takes time and needs a novel" and I'd imagine that anyone who writes romance novellettes, novellas, and short stories would probably disagree. I guess what I'm trying to say (in a rather round-about way) is that rather than seeing romance as "erotica grown up," I see them as fraternal twins growing up alongside one another. Sometimes they play together, sometimes they play by themselves.
I'm curious. Those old stories you wrote: Were they short stories written with the intent to arouse or were they novels with a broader scope? Did you dedicate a lot of time, effort, and words to character and story arc, plot, theme, etc.? When I first started researching erotica as a genre, I was surprised by the sheer volume of stories on Amazon that didn't bother with any of these elements. I grew up on
Story of O, Carrie's Story, The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, and Kitty Thomas's work. The fact that romance wasn't at the center of these stories didn't make them feel less "grown up" to me. You mentioned that some of your older works were "pretty creative and even had interesting themes," so what about them makes you feel the need to add a disclaimer? The presence of graphic sexual content need not cheapen a story any more than adding romance to an otherwise non-romantic plot would automatically make it overly sentimental (though plenty would disagree with me).
It's tempting to want to put erotica into a box and say, "This is what all erotica looks, sounds, smells, feels, etc. like," but part of what makes it so great is that it is so open-ended. You have your somewhat simplistic spank-bank fodder, but you also have raw, emotionally complex, and highly affecting stories that sink into your skin and stay there, just like any other genre. Only, I happen to think that erotica has the extra advantage of aiming straight for those vulnerable areas where so many of our fears, insecurities, and repressed longings lie. There's so much potential to really touch (heh) someone in this genre, though the same can certainly be said for romance. Erotica is about the individual. Romance is about the relationship. Both can be good, bad, and "grown up."
