I'm reading Stephen King's DUMA KEY. I'm not a big King fan, but the beginning drew me in with the MC suffering a terrible accident and struggling with damage to the language center of his brain.
What's driving me nuts about the book is that it's contemporary, yet the characters speak like they're from the 50's, 70's, or some other random decade.
Examples:
A college boy in his early 20s says: "The cable's hooked up, the computer's Internet-ready—I got you Wi-Fi, costs a little extra, but it's way cool."
First, this doesn't even make sense from a technical standpoint. "Internet-ready" means something is ready to be hooked up to the internet. It's almost never said of a computer, because all modern computers are internet-ready. That's like saying a computer is keyboard-ready. King is showing his age here. He was clearly trying to make this character come across as tech-savvy, and failed.
And second, "way cool?" No one under 30 says that.
Next example: The MC, a man in his 50s, says goodbye to his 19-year-old daughter at the airport: "Go on, hon, better let 'em wand your bod and check your shoes." Seriously? Does anyone on earth say "bod?"
And here's the one that finally made me stop reading for the night: The middle-aged MC and his college boy assistant are discussing an art gallery where the MC would like to show his paintings.
"It's where the elite meet." He spoke solemnly, but when I burst out laughing, he joined me. That was the day, I think, when Jack Cantori became my friend rather than my part-time gofer.
"Then that's settled," I said, "because I am definitely elite. Give it up, son."
I raised my hand, and Jack gave it a smack.
I should think what is painfully wrong with this is painfully obvious. Just, no.