Hounding After Hours

TedTheewen said:

And that's another thing about your state--everybody says "keep out, don't move here!""

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Yes, we're snobby like that.


But you're allowed to visit.

BigWords said:

Dude, read World War Z - when the waters thaw, those undead critters are gonna be lumbering around again.

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What, you think I'm just going to sit around and do nothing while they stand there like frozen popsicles?

Heck no, man. That's why god invented chainsaws.



ETA: Actually, it gets cold enough here that the chainsaw would probably be unnecessary, as prolonged freezing would lead to crystalization of various bodily fluids and parts, and the results after would not be pretty.

It's not cryogenics. More like serious freezer burn and that time you forgot about the beer can in your freezer.

Most of that post made sense, save for

slcboston said:

...that time you forgot about the beer can in your freezer.

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Does. Not. Compute.

BigWords said:

Most of that post made sense, save for





Does. Not. Compute.

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Never happened here, either.


But I've heard stories.



Terrible, terrible stories.

*shudders*



In all seriousness, though, if you've ever seen what winter conditions do to a dead body, it's just not pretty. Things freeze and expand and pop and crack and shatter. I suppose you could argue that the it would turn the animals who feast on the dead bodies (like those two German shepherds I saw alongside the road the other day) into zombies, but I think you have to start then asking all sorts of other questions about the pathogen's ability to withstand freezing, etc.

I look at the hard frost line for zombies the same way it keeps the fire ants and the Africanized bees down away from me. Of course, with climate change and the way the winters have been going, that's probably more a roll of the dice than anything, but there's always Canada.

Oatse (or whatever he was called) survived pretty well in the ice. Of course, the kind of deterioration of flesh seen on him would make it difficult to imagine any pathogen surviving. It is interesting to note the reactions of trained mountain climbers to bodies popping out of the ice - it is almost "hey, here's another one. Grab a pic of me with him."

Under the right conditions, bodies do survive pretty well. But there's a difference between a climber dying, largely intact, on a mountainside and the kind of ravaged open corpses zombies are.

Different kind of cold, too. You croak up on Everest or K-2 or someplace, you just freeze solid and stay. None of those freeze/thaw cycles where things don't really thaw out all the way, but they soften up just a bit in the sunshine before they freeze again.

'Course maybe the virus turns zombie blood into some kind of natural anti-freeze.

Y'know, there are probably people browsing AW while having lunch.

Oooh - The Official Horror Hounds Diet. We just describe gruesome scenes and put everyone off their food.

BigWords said:

Y'know, there are probably people browsing AW while having lunch.

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Right. And some of us are also taking notes while we eat and browse.

Carry on.

The conversations we have never keep me from eating lunch.


Speaking of which...

You know, the other thing is, snow is hard to walk through. Especially deep snow. Now we didn't really get much of that here, per se, but further north, or in those winters when we have a couple of feet on the ground, it's hard going.

And when I say "deep" it doesn't have to be to your waist to make it hard going. Two feet, three feet, and it really slows you down because you sink into it. Granted, zombies can just keep going, and going, and going, like a bloody Energizer bunny, but it would also prolong their exposure to the elements, assuming they weren't smart enough to get out of the weather.

Which, in 90% of the zombie stuff I've ever seen, they aren't.



ETA: Thus making Canada, Scandinavia, and Russia the last outpost in the zombie outbreak, at least in the northern hemisphere.

slcboston said:

You know, the other thing is, snow is hard to walk through. Especially deep snow.

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There's the deep, fluffy snow with the crusty layer on the top, which is worse than merely deep snow, as that icy bit will cut into your shins something awful. If there's anything worse than walking through deep snow, it is walking through deep snow while bleeding profusely.

Only one of the reasons I am looking forward to retiring somewhere warm and sunny.

See?

Winter would be murder on the zombie horde.


Plus, bears.

And really, given how few viruses and other things manage to cross species barriers, the likelihood that bears and other predators feeding on the zombie hordes would become zombies themselves seems remote.

Which gets me thinking - alligator infested swamps are probably safe, too, for much the same reasons. They'd sink into the mud and then be picked off by gators and cougars and what not.



Of course, if bigfoot is real, those might be close enough to us that they could be zombie-fied.

I just love the conversations on this page.

Carry on!

Zombie Bigfoot.

Hmm.

I'm happy to be in Wisconsin for many things, and surviving the zombies is one of them. When it gets below zero here we'll be able to take out a lot of those things.

Did anybody read that Marvel comic where all the superheros get infected? It was funny as hell!

BigWords said:

Zombie Bigfoot.

Hmm.

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I just had an idea for a Harry and the Hendersons...zombie style.

TedTheewen said:

Did anybody read that Marvel comic where all the superheros get infected? It was funny as hell!

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The zombies were more of the Dan O'Bannon variety than the George Romero variety, so I spent most of the story thinking of that phrase, and wishing that someone had pointed out that Return... was meant to be a parody of the genre. If they had taken inspiration from NOTLD then it could have been the highlight of Marvel's superhero titles. And I am almost positive they were thinking of the Dark Horse Army Of Darkness series when that was in development - there's a certain storytelling and artistic sensibility which brings that strongly to mind.

BigWords said:

Y'know, there are probably people browsing AW while having lunch.

Oooh - The Official Horror Hounds Diet. We just describe gruesome scenes and put everyone off their food.

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Actually - as a teen I invented a horror diet for a girl I knew.

She had to watch "Slugs" (1987) just before dinner, and then make sure every major meal the next week included some form of spaghetti.

Very effective.

(You know - the famous eyeball exploding scene at the restaurant. )

TRAILER

WormHeart

I think the "soup" scene from Temple Of Doom would work equally as well.

Or watching anything starring the Hoff.

BigWords said:

I think the "soup" scene from Temple Of Doom would work equally as well.

Or watching anything starring the Hoff.

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Eyeballs are supposed to be quite the delicacy.


Also, brains are tasty. Don't know about chilled, but sauteed? Delicious.

WormHeart said:

Actually - as a teen I invented a horror diet for a girl I knew.

She had to watch "Slugs" (1987) just before dinner, and then make sure every major meal the next week included some form of spaghetti.

Very effective.

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Oh! This is very closely related to the plot of a short story I have on submission right now. The horror diet. Not the movie Slugs.


And




*speaks out the side of mouth*

Guys, isn't this one new?

Morning all

I thought I'd fire up the BBQ tonight. Lovely weather and I miss outdoor food.

slcboston said:

Eyeballs are supposed to be quite the delicacy.

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I don't want to watch my food watching me as I eat it.

soapdish said:

*speaks out the side of mouth*

Guys, isn't this one new?

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There's never a bad time for a BBQ.

Oh, I'd like mine rare please.

Actually--you know what? Just raw. Raw is good.

*opens fridge* *knocks condiments around* I thought Greg had us stocked with sauce. I was going to use it for dipping. Why am I not seeing it in here?

BBQ Time!

And I gotta go to work....

Save some for me, okay?