So, my group therapy therapist called me out on being homophobic last night. Apparently, though, mine is a unique case. I'm totally accepting off all people on the planet, and whatever lifestyle they may choose for themselves, but fall into the category of homophobe when it comes to myself. AND...the rest of the group concurred. Unanimously.
I did most of my healing these past two years in this group. I know they have my best interests at heart. I know they've dug me out of a hole so deep I couldn't even remember what the light looked light, let alone see it. They are SO right. But I was conditioned to hate myself. It didn't come naturally. Before I finally left my childhood home (ESCAPED), there were periods where I wasn't allowed to speak because the male sperm donor who sired me did not like the SOUND of my voice. Imposed silence begets self-loathing...or at least contributes to it. Anyway...I'm working on it. Tonight will be a tremendous step. If I don't 'accidentally' fall off a bridge on the way. (I'M KIDDING! - I know, not funny)