XoLeIn GaEpRuXoMyRuEp

*must force self to study* I can do it! *must force self to study*

Fenika said:

Can I be a tool and break up with him over email? Is there some kind of 8 day rule?

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You wouldn't be the first to break up with someone via email. And considering how little you've gone out, I don't think in this case it's out of the question.

If you'd been involved with him for a couple of years or something, then I think you'd at least owe him a phone call.... but email ought to be sufficient here I think.

Tifferbugz said:

I'm not Bos, but I'll give you my 2 cents, anyway.

So you reduced the phone calls that much to give him a hint that he's not taking? (If I'm misunderstanding, sorry.)

If he's not getting that big of a hint you'll just have to be the brave one and bring it up. Say something like, "I feel like I'm getting a vibe here that you want to be more than friends. I just wanted you to know that while I value our friendship, I don't see you as more than that."

That gives him the ability to pretend he has no idea what your talking about, thus saving face. Even though you both secretly know what he was hedging for.

Edit: And if he keeps pushing, what Bos said. Direct and to the point. And if he doesn't respect you enough to leave you alone about it then, then you shouldn't worry so much about being tactful.

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Omg, I so wish I could use that. Sadly, he asked if we were exclusive on the second date. Though I had doubts this was going to last, I said yes because I had no plans to juggle guys.

Dire.

So, direct With minimal tact. Got it.

Silver-Midnight said:

*must force self to study* I can do it! *must force self to study*

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Im supposed to be sleeping. Unplug the internet if you want to get a good grade.

slcboston said:

You wouldn't be the first to break up with someone via email. And considering how little you've gone out, I don't think in this case it's out of the question.

If you'd been involved with him for a couple of years or something, then I think you'd at least owe him a phone call.... but email ought to be sufficient here I think.

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Ohhh so there is an 8 day rule? Does it still apply after stupid exclusive talk?

Oh, and Bugz- I have started reducing the calls, but given the short time frame its not that obvious to most hopefull folks.

Fenika said:

Omg, I so wish I could use that. Sadly, he asked if we were exclusive on the second date. Though I had doubts this was going to last, I said yes because I had no plans to juggle guys.

Dire.

So, direct With minimal tact. Got it.

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Oh gotcha. I second Bos's recs then. Either direct, or since only a couple of dates have transpired, email.

The key is really not to leave any room for misinterpretation.

Email means I dont have to confront on phone. I like this plan.

Meanwhile I am off to bed. If anyone else has ideas, do chime in

Fenika said:

Im supposed to be sleeping. Unplug the internet if you want to get a good grade.

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I should probably just be getting off of my computer altogether. LOL.

Fenika said:

Omg, I so wish I could use that. Sadly, he asked if we were exclusive on the second date. Though I had doubts this was going to last, I said yes because I had no plans to juggle guys.

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Next time, the answer to this is "Well, I'm not dating anyone else at the moment."

Oh, and I have no idea what this 8 day rule is, or is not.


But I am resigned to being clueless about such things anyway, anymore.

*strengthens resolve to live life of monastic hermitage*

Bos is right. It's got to be like an amputation. Quick, clean and final. You don't have to be cruel, but it has to be absolutely clear what the intentions are. Stringing things along just makes it longer and painful for everyone involved.

Fenika said:

Psst, the krackling is a girl.

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Oops, I blame grading student essays on the pronoun mistake. It's safer than the truth, I like my fingers right where they are, attached to my hands.

Fenika said:

I hope not. I created it in innocence! Pure mistype-ing innocence. Blame the evil iphone if it is sentient.

Wait, has anyone actually gone into the center of the dong garden to see if it's sentient?

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I don't know. Seems to me that most people wouldn't get that far, I figure they'd get distracted long before arriving. And after the distraction, probably wouldn't have the energy to continue.

Tifferbugz said:

I've got a beer, Cantina. Watch out.

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One beer? The guys in my small town high school called that a cheap date. Yes, they were not nice folks. Big hairy dairy farmers they were. My neighbor had to shave twice a day at 14.

Silver-Midnight said:

*must force self to study* I can do it! *must force self to study*

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I'm a teacher. Get off the nets until you finish your homework, young...lady? (I'm guessing at the moment, I haven't looked at your profile yet. Slap me if I guess wrong.)

Tifferbugz said:

Oh I gotcha. I second Bos's recs then. Either direct, or since only a couple of dates have transpired, email.

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I vote for Bos's recs as well. You can try the "let's just be friends" thing. Most guys I know interpret that as "I don't want to see you anymore" anyway. But if that doesn't work, then yes, in the long run, direct is good. Ouchy for a while, but the dust settles fairly quickly.

Breaking up on email is probably better than breaking up on IM.

I was on the receiving end of that one.

Would've preferred email than IM, but oh well.

zanzjan said:

I am going to turn off the computer and go to bed now, because if I don't, I am going to go all face-eating-chimp on someone elsewhere on AW.

Why did I wander out of the Cantina? Why?

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I think I know where you went....

Dang, now I'm gonna have to go looking.

Wait. I hope it isn't me. I better check what I've said. I kinda like my face. Boring as it is.

Morning cantinas

Fen. Tell him straight. Men don't do subtle. At all. Never.
You'll know when you've got the right guy, you'll feel it.

Now, what am I doing today? I feel like I'm operating at Garfield level at the moment. Do you think it's ok to read all day? I have a library book of Apocalypse SF short stories, and I feel the urge to watch the world being blown-up, melted-down and eaten all day.

Perhaps I should have breakfast first.

aliwood said:

Morning cantinas

Fen. Tell him straight. Men don't do subtle. At all. Never.
You'll know when you've got the right guy, you'll feel it.

Now, what am I doing today? I feel like I'm operating at Garfield level at the moment. Do you think it's ok to read all day? I have a library book of Apocalypse SF short stories, and I feel the urge to watch the world being blown-up, melted-down and eaten all day.

Perhaps I should have breakfast first.

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1. After long thought, I agree that the tell him straight is probably best. I will disagree that men don't do subtle. We do subtle, it's just different. See, for men, piss off is subtle. Intonation is very important here, it can mean anything from, not now, I'm busy to say another word and one of us will be lying on the floor and it ain't gonna be me. You gotta catch the intonation.

Non subtle is skipping all the preliminaries and getting down to business.


2. Any day is a good day to read apocalypse short stories. I do recommend the breakfast first. You need your calories for the excitement. Death and destruction takes a lot out of you. Especially if it is done properly. Who are you reading?

Debio said:

Who are you reading?

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It is the 'Mammoth Book of Apocalyptic SF', edited by Mike Ashley. Twenty-four short stories by people like Stephen Baxter, Alastair Reynolds, Cory Doctorow, Robert Silverberg, Elizabeth Bear and someone called 'many more', who seems to feature on covers a lot but never makes it to the inside. When I grow up I might use that as my pen name - hmm, uses WP, should it be a keyboard name?

Cheers folks

Fenika said:

Omg, I so wish I could use that. Sadly, he asked if we were exclusive on the second date. Though I had doubts this was going to last, I said yes because I had no plans to juggle guys.

Dire.

So, direct With minimal tact. Got it.

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He asked that on the SECOND date? Why didn't you run then? Hell even in crazy-get-married-at-19-Mormon-culture that's pushing it. But yes, everything that everyone else is saying. And if he gets really annoying, don't be afraid to tell him that he *reeks* of desperation.

zanzjan said:

Why did I wander out of the Cantina? Why?

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It always seems like such a good idea at first, doesn't it. You think, "Hey what's everyone else doing out there?" So you wander out and realize that you were right all along in thinking that the world is mostly full of idiots.

But, it's good to have this reminder every once in a while. Makes you appricate all the good things you have. * Cantina*

I havent told the half of the reeky desperation, just the worst. Oi. People are sad.

Kricket said:

It always seems like such a good idea at first, doesn't it. You think, "Hey what's everyone else doing out there?" So you wander out and realize that you were right all along in thinking that the world is mostly full of idiots.

But, it's good to have this reminder every once in a while. Makes you appricate all the good things you have. * Cantina*

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See, I don't think the world is full of idiots. I KNOW. It is a fact of nature. Someone has to get eaten.

Unfortunately, too many of the idiots take non-idiots with them when they decide to be someone's lunch.