Confessions of a (former) PA Booster
Since I have been admonished by one of our respected members for using my uncanny gift of amateur psychoanalysis on innocent PA Boosters, I will take their advice and offer in place a look at my own psychology during my PA adventures (without any mention of my specific PA grievances for legal reasons). I hope it will be a useful tool in understanding what goes on in the mind of PA supporters.
I found myself with PA through the "efforts" of a bad agent (Karen Carr - Finesse Literary Agency). The Writers Guide of Literary Agents listed her as having sold over 100 books in the new agency’s short duration. When she told me AmErica House had accepted my book I was delighted. I did a little research; back then they had a respectable website just for AmErica House. I was suspicious of the dollar advance and the contract term of 70 years plus all renewals, but my agent told me this was the best deal a new author was likely to get. When the contract came it was a PublishAmerica contract, with the AmErica House imprint listed on it. I listened to my agent, why on earth would she steer me wrong? After all she was going to be making money off my book, so she’d want me to get the best deal possible. Gullible? Sure, I was so happy to be published. Many of you understand that feeling. It felt real. I didn’t know any better.
I found the PA website, visited the PA MB. There were a bunch of new authors, all excited, all overjoyed to be published. At the time, I only posted once or twice; there was an air of amateurishness there that did not lend itself to my tastes at the time. Things were going well, right? so I began working on my planned second book in the trilogy and forgot about the PA MB for a while. My book came out and I promoted it with early success, landing major newspaper coverage and The O’Reilly Factor interview. I told PA about it and they posted the event with my book cover featured on their home page. What a thrill! At first, I had some success in getting book signings, readings and such, as I was becoming a minor Philly area celebrity and a well known name in the TG community. Most people, even in the industry had never heard of PA (at first). Soon, though, doors were closing on me. I found myself telling a bookstore manager that PA wasn’t a POD, they were something new, a grand experiment that would change the face of publishing–hey, that’s what they said on their website. It didn’t help. As I first began to find resistance I went back to the PA MB. There my accomplishments impressed people, there I was encouraged. There I found friends who were going through the same troubles I was. I got a big dose of the story about the industry fighting against the inevitable victory of PA. Soon there would be a major bestseller from the PA ranks. It was us against them.
My royalty checks at first were getting bigger: the first about $50 (the book hadn’t bee out very long), the second was about $180. It was growing, I was gaining readers. Sooner or later things would begin to really take off. Sure, other PA authors were having trouble, but they weren’t me. I had a distinct sense of superiority. If you get through a gender reassignment program you start to believe that you can do anything. My book was strong and unique, and I was told, most books, even those by the big houses had lots of errors (yet, I couldn’t remember that being true-still maybe I wasn’t reading enough new fiction)–there was no reason with my vast reserves of will power that I could do what no other PA author had yet done. I would have the first PA breakaway bestseller. Things were still going my way, I managed to cajole my way into a few more booksignings, more reviews, more national tv coverage.
When I was advised that my application to the SFWA would be declined because of their new rules against PA–I was mad. How dare the old boy publishing industry try and keep me down. This is how I felt. It sent me more deeply into the PA MB fold. It confirmed what I was being told there. And on that board I had friends, and we were going to help change the world of publishing. My PA friends respected me and supported me. I could still make it all work. I bought ads in RTIR, bought more bookmarks, posters, fliers, sold books at cost to bookstores, dressed as a fairy-tale princess and passed out fliers in downtown Philly. By then I realized that PA wasn’t going to come through on certain things they promised me, but they were a new company, if I only worked harder, surely they would eventually come through. I did only get into a few publishing arguments on the PA board (I owe apologies to Lisa Y and Canada James–I am so sorry, you guys were right, I was wrong). I did post all of my successes on the board for my friends to see, and unfortunately, I’m sure those posts brought many people into the PA trap. I still feel terrible about that.
Eventually, I found a website called wank.com (or something) were they were making fun of one of my PA posts–I was upset about a bad review in TG Community News (which I still feel was politically motivated), and other PA MB posts. I heard rumors, saw some things going down on the board that made me think twice. Sheryl Nantus contacted me and asked why I liked PA. Maybe, PA wasn’t so great. But there I was ... stuck. I had finished my second book which by contract I had to submit to PA. I got it back through negotiations, by demanding returnable books and a few other things. I found this place when some one posted on AW that my second book was going with Behler. I read a lot. I heard more rumors. Then came the PA Convention when it hit me like a ton of bricks. When Larry Clopper announced that PA had 8,000 happy authors, my stomach dropped. It was all a scam. All of it. A lie. I was banned shortly after the convention.
That’s what was happening in my head when I was a PA booster. That is why I post here–to try and undo some of the evil that resulted from my association with PublishAmerica. There it is.
Diana