Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

Status
Not open for further replies.

parumpdragon

I sometimes hiccup fire
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 8, 2011
Messages
29,042
Reaction score
6,712
Location
Arizona
It was probably Porter's secret mission or something. You know how he gets.
 

Rolling Thunder

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
15,209
Reaction score
5,341
Did anyone notice the wisp of blonde hair in that picture Porter posted?

Poor thing's doomed.
 

PorterStarrByrd

nutruring tomorrows criminals today
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 26, 2011
Messages
33,701
Reaction score
2,013
Location
Moose Creek, Maine
By the way ...

just posted my final February blog about pornographic origami on my blogspot.

link in sig
 

Rolling Thunder

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
15,209
Reaction score
5,341
What's disgusting is NASCAR. Why isn't it called ASSCAR? I mean, the way all those things travel in a circle so damned close to one another they look like they're sniffing ass the name fits better.

*sigh*

Blood sugar's low. I'm going to go get a pizza.
 

Rolling Thunder

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
15,209
Reaction score
5,341
It was a quiet night in the cabaret, but the lingering stench of battery acid and bunny droppings hung in the air. Jay and the other pole dancers were gathered around the television watching the Oscars as I took a seat at the bar. None of them noticed me, which wasn't unusual. I ordered a beer, draft not bottled, and waited. It was too quiet. Something bad was going to happen. I could feel it in my bones...
 

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
56,217
Reaction score
18,303
Location
A dark, evil place.
It was a quiet night in the cabaret, but the lingering stench of battery acid and bunny droppings hung in the air. Jay and the other pole dancers were gathered around the television watching the Oscars as I took a seat at the bar. None of them noticed me, which wasn't unusual. I ordered a beer, draft not bottled, and waited. It was too quiet. Something bad was going to happen. I could feel it in my bones...
Suddenly Haggis walked in.

"What is it with those NASCAR peeps and why haven't they learned how to turn right?" he asked.

With that he leapt onto the bar, thence onto the back bar where he dislodged a bottle of Lagavulen and swallowed it whole.
 

Rolling Thunder

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
15,209
Reaction score
5,341
Suddenly Haggis walked in.

"What is it with those NASCAR peeps and why haven't they learned how to turn right?" he asked.

With that he leapt onto the bar, thence onto the back bar where he dislodged a bottle of Lagavulen and swallowed it whole.

It's not often one encounters a talking dog that enjoys a fine scotch whiskey. A sane person might question the validity pf such a creature or wonder if there was something slipped into their own drink when they weren't looking. It happens in places like this.

The only question that entered my mind was how painful would that bottle feel when it passed through the chihuahua's ass tomorrow morning.
 

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
56,217
Reaction score
18,303
Location
A dark, evil place.
It's not often one encounters a talking dog that enjoys a fine scotch whiskey. A sane person might question the validity pf such a creature or wonder if there was something slipped into their own drink when they weren't looking. It happens in places like this.

The only question that entered my mind was how painful would that bottle feel when it passed through the chihuahua's ass tomorrow morning.
Fortunately for the Chihuahua, he was undead, having already expired from a similar event in the late 1800s. Then again in the 1920s. Then there was that explosion in the 40s. Well, you get the idea.
 

Rolling Thunder

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
15,209
Reaction score
5,341
Fortunately for the Chihuahua, he was undead, having already expired from a similar event in the late 1800s. Then again in the 1920s. Then there was that explosion in the 40s. Well, you get the idea.

Indeed, I did. I staggered towards the Men's room, hoping I wouldn't spew all over my shoes before I got there. I didn't quite make it. Luckily, the floor apparently hadn't been cleaned in weeks. I felt better and I noticed the smell in the room had improved.
 

Del

Sky isn't falling, ground is rising
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 10, 2006
Messages
4,048
Reaction score
1,781
Location
In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
As the bottle shaped chihuahua rolled from the bar and shattered on the floor, Del staggered in having spent the majority of his pay check at the taco stand across the street. As he walked past the service window for the kitchen he belched cyan pepper and was ignited by the open flame grill. He sat at the bar.

"When did you start smoking, Del?" ask RT as he drained the end of his draft and ordered another on cray's American Express card.

"Just recently." replied Del as he patted out the smoldering embers. "Five bucks says Haggis can't get up for another three minutes."

"I'll take that bet." RT high fived Del to seal the deal. About that time Haggis chinkled erect, broken glass clanking muffled from inside.

Del looked shocked. "You guys set that up."

"Pay up birdie." RT cackled quietly. Del handed RT the IOU he had won from him the prior evening.
 

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
56,217
Reaction score
18,303
Location
A dark, evil place.
Indeed, I did. I staggered towards the Men's room, hoping I wouldn't spew all over my shoes before I got there. I didn't quite make it. Luckily, the floor apparently hadn't been cleaned in weeks. I felt better and I noticed the smell in the room had improved.
And it would improve even more, thought the Chihuahua, when the blood from his freshly severed head joined the puke on his shoes.
 

Del

Sky isn't falling, ground is rising
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 10, 2006
Messages
4,048
Reaction score
1,781
Location
In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
Del looked discouragingly at Haggis. "That's a good trick, Doggie dude. You should take it on the road. I hear glass eating chihuahuas are big in Chicago.
 

Rolling Thunder

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 12, 2006
Messages
15,209
Reaction score
5,341
As the bottle shaped chihuahua rolled from the bar and shattered on the floor, Del staggered in having spent the majority of his pay check at the taco stand across the street. As he walked past the service window for the kitchen he belched cyan pepper and was ignited by the open flame grill. He sat at the bar.

"When did you start smoking, Del?" ask RT as he drained the end of his draft and ordered another on cray's American Express card.

"Just recently." replied Del as he patted out the smoldering embers. "Five bucks says Haggis can't get up for another three minutes."

"I'll take that bet." RT high fived Del to seal the deal. About that time Haggis chinkled erect, broken glass clanking muffled from inside.

Del looked shocked. "You guys set that up."

"Pay up birdie." RT cackled quietly. Del handed RT the IOU he had won from him the prior evening.

I pocketed the IOU, wondering when Del would notice the steaming pile of vomit near the restroom door. I knew it wouldn't take long, no seagull can pass up a free buffet meal.

And it would improve even more, thought the Chihuahua, when the blood from his freshly severed head joined the puke on his shoes.

Luckily, I had been using a flea avatar for the past few weeks. If anyone was going to taste blood...
 

Del

Sky isn't falling, ground is rising
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 10, 2006
Messages
4,048
Reaction score
1,781
Location
In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
I pocketed the IOU, wondering when Del would notice the steaming pile of vomit near the restroom door. I knew it wouldn't take long, no seagull can pass up a free buffet meal.

Del noticed the aroma coming from the door to the head. "Pffff, like I'm going to fall for that again. The food in this place is bad enough the first time around...the leftovers are enough to make a seagull puke." He ordered a house whiskey.
 

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
56,217
Reaction score
18,303
Location
A dark, evil place.
Del noticed the aroma coming from the door to the head. "Pffff, like I'm going to fall for that again. The food in this place is bad enough the first time around...the leftovers are enough to make a seagull puke." He ordered a house whiskey.
...which was enough to make the Chihuahua puke.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.