Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)
That's what I did: if I couldn't contact them, I changed the names. The exception was for teachers, because teachers are public figures and anyone who had been there would know the names were wrong.
Blessings,
Siri Kirpal
What about famous people whose private behavior isn't well-known? I am slowly being persuaded that I should write a memoir about some events from my childhood.
One of the story threads involves a man my mother was engaged to marry. He was then and remains a well-respected and wealthy inventor who created a couple dozen inventions that are critical to the manufacture of computers.
This man also tried to kill my mother, and then when she left him, raped all of my sister's stuffed animals before sending them back to us to satisfy a court order. We also discovered that he'd modified most of the electronic devices like the toaster, radio, and other things so that they behaved strangely (pulling the lever of the toaster turned on the radio that was embedded inside).
I would love to use this guy's name, but have decided for the time being to use an alias for him and every company he is connected to (all of which are easily-recognized names). If I do that for him, would I also have to do it for everyone else? Also, wouldn't using the real name make it more interesting?
I have pretty much made up my mind on this, but wouldn't be surprised if I'm not the only person with this question. As far as the evil inventor is concerned, the details I would mention are all part of a court record made at the time, but I don't have access to it. I lived through it and can describe what I saw and heard, but have no way of checking whether those bits correspond to the record of the case. I assume they do because my mother was careful to include all these things in the record (and the guy in question was fired from one major university when they heard of it). How much of "my" story is mine in situations like this?
Best regards,
AP