Prepare for Nuclear Winter

William Haskins · Jul 28, 2014

N. Korea threatens nuclear strike on White House

Seoul (AFP) - A top-ranking North Korean military official has threatened a nuclear strike on the White House and Pentagon after accusing Washington of raising military tensions on the Korean peninsula.

The threat came from Hwang Pyong-So, director of the military's General Political Bureau, during a speech to a large military rally in Pyongyang Sunday on the anniversary of the armistice that ended the 1950-53 Korean War.

Hwang, who holds the rank of vice marshal in the Korean People's Army, said a recent series of South Korea-US military drills, one of which included the deployment of a nuclear-powered US aircraft carrier, had ramped up tensions.

"If the US imperialists threaten our sovereignty and survival... our troops will fire our nuclear-armed rockets at the White House and the Pentagon -- the sources of all evil," Hwang said in his speech broadcast Monday on state television.

Diana Hignutt · Jul 28, 2014

I'll keep my umbrella handy, how's that?

clintl · Jul 28, 2014

So, what does this mean? A school of fish swimming around off the North Korean coast should be really worried?

William Haskins · Jul 28, 2014

we'll see how funny you guys are if they ever can get a launcher into the white house driveway.

that would give them a 50/50 chance of hitting it.

then we'll see who's laughing/glowing.

rugcat · Jul 28, 2014

Nuclear winter?

The perfect solution to global warming.

William Haskins · Jul 28, 2014

it's pronounced new-q-lur.

robjvargas · Jul 28, 2014

Why would I prepare? If one of those things ever came, I'd be running TOWARD the blast.

Myrealana · Jul 28, 2014

Do they know where the White House is? Last map I saw of them plotting nuclear strikes, Austin, TX was near the top of the list.

Zoombie · Jul 28, 2014

Oh, those whacky North Koreans.

What will they think of next?

ShaunHorton · Jul 28, 2014

I miss the days of nuclear ignorance, when radioactive fallout meant giant ants and ninja turtles.

Snowstorm · Jul 28, 2014

More like the threat of a nuclear ice cube dissolving somewhere in the Yellow Sea...

kaitie · Jul 28, 2014

Myrealana said:
Do they know where the White House is? Last map I saw of them plotting nuclear strikes, Austin, TX was near the top of the list.

They looked at the map and saw Washington state and thought, "Hey, we can hit that!"

ShaunHorton · Jul 28, 2014

kaitie said:
They looked at the map and saw Washington state and thought, "Hey, we can hit that!"

Crap. That's me.

Still, I shouldn't be surprised. I've met people that live here in America that don't know the difference.

Kaiser-Kun · Jul 28, 2014

kaitie said:
They looked at the map and saw Washington state and thought, "Hey, we can hit that!"

The Great Leader is able to throw a dart at it from across the room, so it's more or less the same, right?

Shadow Dragon · Jul 28, 2014

I wouldn't be surprised if Kim Jong-Un is telling people he'll pick up the nuclear warhead and throw it to the white house.

Emilander · Jul 28, 2014

Nuclear strike? I thought they were going to invade like in Red Dawn. What a let down.

Devil Ledbetter · Jul 28, 2014

robjvargas said:
Why would I prepare? If one of those things ever came, I'd be running TOWARD the blast.

And you'd be running right behind me!

Kaiser-Kun · Jul 28, 2014

Shadow Dragon said:
I wouldn't be surprised if Kim Jong-Un is telling people he'll pick up the nuclear warhead and throw it to the white house.

If he was mounting his unicorn, he might reach like, ten more feet.

robjvargas · Jul 28, 2014

Devil Ledbetter said:
And you'd be running right behind me!

And get your shadow fried onto me? No.

robjvargas · Jul 28, 2014

ShaunHorton said:
I miss the days of nuclear ignorance, when radioactive fallout meant giant ants and ninja turtles.

You forgot 400-foot iguanas.

clintl · Jul 28, 2014

Obviously, we need to send Dennis Rodman back over there to calm him down.

AVS · Jul 28, 2014

Blimey... I say we need to take off and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Albedo · Jul 28, 2014

What's the matter, NK, jels that Ukraine and Gaza are getting all the attention lately?

I can imagine things in Pyongyang's publicity department. 'Mentions of us are down 50% in the past month. We're losing eyeballs fast! Time to threaten to nuke something! But our social media monitors are telling us that civilian targets are out in July, so we'll have to specify particular government buildings.'

robjvargas · Jul 28, 2014

AVS said:
Blimey... I say we need to take off and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

We get to orbit, we don't need no steenking nooks.

Bright pebbles for the win. Although that was aimed at incoming missiles, no reason it couldn't go all the way to the ground. That's what Jerry Pournelle described as "Project THOR."

Project Thor is an idea for a weapons system that launches kinetic projectiles from Earth orbit to damage targets on the ground. Jerry Pournelle originated the concept while working in operations research at Boeing in the 1950s before becoming a science-fiction writer.

The most described system is "an orbiting tungsten telephone pole with small fins and a computer in the back for guidance". The weapon can be down-scaled, an orbiting "crowbar" rather than a pole.The system described in the 2003 United States Air Force (USAF) report was that of 20-foot-long (6.1 m), 1-foot-diameter (0.30 m) tungsten rods, that are satellite controlled, and have global strike capability, with impact speeds of Mach 10.

A mach 10 shock wave might as well be an explosive warhead.

BenPanced · Jul 28, 2014

Prepare for Nuclear Winter

poet

Very Tired

Represent.

poet

Lost in the Fog

poet

I aim to misbehave

Dragon of the Multiverse

AW's resident Velociraptor

Baby plot bunneh sniffs out a clue

With great power comes

AW's resident Velociraptor

!

Come on you stranger, you legend,

!

Represent.

Alex

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)