Scenes from a hat!

M.S. Wiggins · Jul 11, 2014

4. I'm on the pyrotechnics offender registry.

Night_Writer · Jul 18, 2014

5. The fireworks I bought down South beat the pants off what they use for the shows up here in the North, so I'll just do my own show in my back yard.

Ways to tell that a person hasn't had sex for a long time.

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 18, 2014

1. Headstone

M.S. Wiggins · Jul 18, 2014

2. They think a pearl necklace comes from a velvet jewelry case.

brasiliareview · Jul 18, 2014

3. Comes inside for a drink. Starts drinking.

Diver · Jul 18, 2014

4. Is convinced a "Roll in the hay" is some kind of funky bovine sushi.

Albedo of Zero · Jul 18, 2014

5. Remembers it as the number after five.

Ways you wouldn't want to introduce exes to each other.

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 19, 2014

1. Joan, meet Karen. You guys know each other well enough to join me in a threesome now?

Chris P · Jul 19, 2014

2. With you two being sisters and all, I think we can dispense with the introductions.

Lavern08 · Jul 26, 2014

3. Yeah, I dumped both of you when I met my wife.

Sc00t · Jul 28, 2014

4. "Hey, Lauren... This is Tanya. You know, the one you got the STI from. Inadvertently."

Kaiser-Kun · Jul 28, 2014

5. And that's how I met your mother.

Lame excuses for breaking into someone's house

poetinahat · Jul 28, 2014

1. "Hey, Kool-Aid!!"

Lavern08 · Jul 28, 2014

2. I was looking for Kaiser-Kun's keys

What? :Shrug:

Somebody had to say it.

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 28, 2014

3. My key didn't fit the door

brasiliareview · Jul 29, 2014

4. NHS won't cover my buttocks augmentation surgery

Williebee · Jul 29, 2014

5. I heard you had great decorating sense. Thought I'd pick up some tips.

What those Saturday Morning Cartoon Characters from decades ago are doing now.

Zeddo · Jul 29, 2014

1) Bugs Bunny: finally faced what his predilection for cross-dressing meant and had the surgery. Married and divorced Elmer Fudd (the union was rocky from the start as Fudd couldn't resist hunting his own children).

poetinahat · Jul 29, 2014

2) The Pink Panther: A confirmed bachelor, he lives in his split-level apartment in San Francisco and furnishes it with Danish Modern pieces and Rembrandt replicas. Ostracised by mawkish new-Christian busybodies, he has led a somewhat lonely life, finding refuge in Manhattans. As he slips into his dotage, he is slowly regaining popularity as a new generation of outsiders and nu-beatniks rediscover his suave panache.

M.S. Wiggins · Jul 29, 2014

3. Shaggy went to rehab and later opened an adopt-a-Great Dane agency in Colorado.

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 30, 2014

4 Underdog is now six feet Underdog

Lavern08 · Aug 6, 2014

5. Boris & Natasha are now serving as Vladimir Putin's Security Advisors

Clever Ways to Get Your Kids Excited About Going Back to School...

PorterStarrByrd · Aug 6, 2014

1. Give them a list of late summer chores

poetinahat · Aug 6, 2014

2. Cut off the internet, and give them unfettered access to Classic Seventies Game Shows: Gambit, Price Is Right, Joker's Wild, $10,000 Pyramid, To Tell the Truth, Let's Make a Deal, What's My Line, Gong Show, Match Game

-ugh... now I'M going back to school-

Robbert · Aug 7, 2014

3. Telling them that the likes of Lavern, Porter and Poetinahat have all retired.

Scenes from a hat!

"The Moving Finger writes..."

It's all symbolic.

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

"The Moving Finger writes..."

author of Sweet Bread

keyboard crawler

That didn't hurt

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

!

say it loud

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

author of Sweet Bread

Capeless, wingless, & yet I fly.

Talk to the hat

say it loud

"The Moving Finger writes..."

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

say it loud

Practical experience FTW